Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.

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religious toaster

or, how the religion of a country affects it's toaster design
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Whilst waiting for my bread to toast in hotel in Thailand, I was struck by the parallel between the toaster and Buddhist beliefs.

The toaster had a mini-conveyor belt going over the heated element. On pass 1 through the machine it would be lightly warmed up, then on the second pass through (manual intervention needed at this point) the toast would come out brownish.

This to me to looks like a soul and its travel through rebirths, nirvana, ie browned. I contrasted that to the boring old western pop-up toaster and found that the bread has one go at it, and then should be browned (heaven), alternatively it comes out scorched (hell), or a bit breaks off the bottom and defies all attempts to winkle it out with a knife (tentatively identified as limbo).

I suspect there may be a market for divisions inside religions, a Calvinist toaster where the bread comes out rock-hard, a COE toaster that comes out vaguely brownish and neither one thing or another, a three slice toaster for Catholics, signifying the trinity and so on.

not_morrison_rm, Jul 26 2012

mine is a bit religious smoking_20Vatican_20toaster
[xandram, Jul 26 2012]

Jesus Toaster http://www.amazon.c...aster/dp/B0042QRYO8
Available through Amazon.com [jurist, Jul 27 2012]

[link]






       A coin-operated Scientology toaster?
Custardguts, Jul 26 2012
  

       call for a list?
po, Jul 26 2012
  

       The Fundamentalist Toast. Toast goes in white and comes out white yet defies all attempts to reason with it on the need to change.
UnaBubba, Jul 26 2012
  

       Ulster Toaster. Toast comes out orange. Won't share a plate with RC toast.
8th of 7, Jul 26 2012
  

       Zen toaster - works the same as a normal toaster but the interpretation is different: instead of the bread being toasted, the toaster is revealing the bread's true nature.
hippo, Jul 26 2012
  

       Pagan toaster, where due to an intricate mechanism the toast comes out partially cut out into soldiers and the crust made into a circle, giving the shape of Stonehenge.   

       Complete with compass for correct alignment for the midsummer's day so the first rays of dawn to shine through it correctly. Optional extra sun-lamp attachment for when it's overcast (like 99% of the time).
not_morrison_rm, Jul 26 2012
  

       Hey, what happened to the Jesus toaster? It was on HB, then it was gone. Strange...
not_morrison_rm, Jul 26 2012
  

       I put it up before doing my research. Looked pretty much baked (toasted) elsewhere...
theleopard, Jul 26 2012
  

       The Jewish toaster has a timer on it showing how it works really fast. Then, when supposedly done, nothing happens. After a minute it blurts out: Watcha staring at, heh?   

       The Lutheran AG toaster really works well, and will never break down.   

       The Catholic toaster (made in Rome) has very low cost parts, so even though it never works, you can always fix it quickly.   

       Watch out with the Selfi Muslim toaster.   

       There's no such thing as an Atheist toaster.
pashute, Jul 26 2012
  

       The Calvinist toaster wouldn't exist, instead, you'd purchase pre-toasted bread, which would be cold and stale.   

       The Pentacostal toaster comes with instructions in a nonsensical language, and a power cord which has no plug but is intended be taped to your bible and forehead.   

       The Baptist toaster is waterproof for safety reasons.   

       The orthodox toaster makes lots of smoke which smells slightly of herbs.   

       The agnostic toaster shows no indications of whether it works or not.   

       The Christian Science toaster allows you to talk to Elizabeth Taylor.
RayfordSteele, Jul 26 2012
  

       In all honesty, I did think the Zen toaster is problematical, as there is no toaster, the bread and toaster exist only in your mind, extensive meditation would show the truth.   

       Alternatively, it would have only one bread slot, can you hear the sound of one slice toasting?   

       Oh and Rex Toasti, King of the World (of toasters) for any Cathar out there...
not_morrison_rm, Jul 26 2012
  

       // There's no such thing as an Atheist toaster.//
Not so. The Atheist toaster operates on the principles of Physics, with no chanting required.
sqeaketh the wheel, Jul 26 2012
  

       I like the Tibetan toaster, where the finished toast is cut into pieces and thrown into the air for a sky buttering.   

       1 toasted bun on a rotisserie.(Whirling-Dervish Toaster)
xandram, Jul 26 2012
  

       Which religion does the roller-toaster belong to?   

       Correction to the Lutheran one: The toast lasts for ten years.   

       The Hebrew Toaster just immigrated from France: Its called Le-Chaim.
pashute, Jul 26 2012
  

       Zoroastrian Toaster. It sits on top of a hill, not far from town. You put the bread on top of it, where the sun and weather do their best and where birds can come and eat it.
UnaBubba, Jul 26 2012
  

       Australopithecene Toaster: If there happens to be a fire burning somewhere then the user needs to identify edible grains; invent milling and make flour, dough and bread before inventing the breadknife and cutting and toasting a few slices.
UnaBubba, Jul 26 2012
  

       Athiests don't require a toaster to explain the nutritional benefits of the bread. We just eat the bread.
neutrinos_shadow, Jul 26 2012
  

       [jurist]'s link makes me face/palm.   

       I have a plastic form that allows you to press a "face of Jesus" into the bread before you toast it. Works well on the credulous.
UnaBubba, Jul 27 2012
  

       //I like the Tibetan toaster,   

       Hmm, out a heat source next to prayer wheel, strap some bread on and it should work...
not_morrison_rm, Jul 27 2012
  

       //which religion does the roller-toaster belong to?//   

       Hindu.
RayfordSteele, Jul 27 2012
  

       ...still waiting for the Amish toaster to toast this slice... . . . . <crickets> . . . <sigh>
Grogster, Jul 31 2012
  

       In regards to the Astroid to Mars post, I believe that in the archaeological work, looking for a Martian toaster should take priority as it will provide such an insight into their religious beliefs.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 01 2012
  
      
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