Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
I never imagined it would be edible.

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Restfully meandering hotel breakfast toaster

  [vote for,

This is an alternative to both the normal hotel breakfast buffet 'conveyer belt' toaster, and the standard domestic toaster, with its disturbingly violent ejection. This idea takes the hotel 'conveyer belt' toaster but has the bread grill conveyer belt directly behind the breakfast buffet. So, you select your bread (white, wholemeal, granary, etc.), and load it onto the conveyer. Then, you proceed along the breakfast buffet loading up on bacon, sausages, mushrooms, tomatoes, haggis, black pudding, white pudding, hash browns, baked beans and the inevitably rubbery scrambled/fried/poached eggs. As you do so, your bread keeps pace with you on the conveyer, gradually becoming entoastified. By the time you reach the end of the buffet, the bread-to-toast transformation is complete and your toast drops off the end, ideally directly onto your plate.

As [zen_tom] pointed out, this idea imposes order and sanity on the breakfast process: "...as people follow their toast, they are also gently guided in terms of sequence, direction and tempo through an otherwise potentially ambiguous set of proceedings". Thus breakfast anarchy is avoided.

From an annotation on "Toaster + magazine" (see link)
hippo, Apr 11 2019

(?) Toaster_20_2b_20magazine [hippo, Apr 11 2019]



       Also, might I point out that you have omitted both the kedgeree and the kidneys, without which no breakfast is complete. But otherwise, an excellent idea.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 11 2019

       "meanering" ?
8th of 7, Apr 11 2019

       The inclusion of the list of foodstuffs is useful for illustrating the experience but will doubtless result in class, geography and taste related debates about the proper constituents of a breakfast.   

       My mild concern is that there is a risk that too much power is used in keeping the length of the conveyor hot. Either the coils could be programmed to heat in the presence of bread (in the same way that supermarket conveyor checkouts move in the presence of yr messages) or the toaster could be attached to a wall-e-lookin' contraption that trundles along keeping you company as you select from the various suet based options.
calum, Apr 11 2019

       // suet based options. //   

       It is important to recognise that breakfas should always include a component from each of the four major food groups; grease, sugar, starch, and brown burnt crunchy bits.
8th of 7, Apr 11 2019

       A butler with an extension lead would work too.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 11 2019

       A well deserved [+] for taking a principled stance against potential breakfast-themed anarchy.
zen_tom, Apr 11 2019

       oops, typo corrected now - I really should read my own ideas...

[calum] maybe the conveyer belt should not be heated. Instead, the bread could be toasted by ceiling-mounted lasers, with some targeting system to keep the beams focussed on the moving slices of bread.
hippo, Apr 11 2019

       "with its disturbingly violent ejection."   

       You've apparently not seen our toast crawl out. Pathetic. Usually has to be aided by a fork, which my mother used to always think would electrocute me. Little did she know I was made completely out of rubber. Ha. Stupid lady.
blissmiss, Apr 11 2019

       [hippo], yes, with your room number a shade darker than the rest of the toast surface so as to remove any dubiety re ownership at the end of the process.
calum, Apr 11 2019

       //my mother used to always think would electrocute me// My mother told me the same thing. But 110V is more of a tingle (OK, quite a big tingle) than an electrocution per se. Also, unless your house hasn't been rewired since the late neolithic, you have RCDs, which means you can jam that fork right into your toaster in complete* safety**.   

       *Unless you're on some sort of life support machine that requires an uninterrupted power supply, that is.   

       **RCDs are little safety-miracles, and will allow all manner of misadventures to be non-fatal. It would be great if some wiring codes could be revised and loosened up a little, where RCDs are used. The only downside is that you can develop habits which might prove lethal next time you visit a non-RCD-fitting country.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 11 2019

       Max, this is very good to know. When I get to the other side, I shall let my mother know.
blissmiss, Apr 12 2019

       I'm not sure if heaven has RCDs - in fact I haven't seen **any** building codes or wiring regulations for the place. So don't let your mother get too complacent. It would be really, really annoying to have died, gone to heaven, and then get killed by a combination of a cheap toaster, overconfidence and second- rate domestic electricity supplies.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 12 2019

       // But they aren't foolproof //   

       Thankfully; otherwise the population of fools would increase even faster than it does.   

       "It is impossible to make anything truly foolproof, because fools are so ingenious"*   

       *This applies to absolutely everything, including biohazard containment, passenger aircraft, and nuclear waste processing.
8th of 7, Apr 12 2019

       //biohazard containment// Failures in biohazard containment are the only real way to discover whether something (like a recombinant flu virus, venomous mice or the Intercalary) is actually dangerous or not. As we always say, "it's not a containment failure, it's an experiment."
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 12 2019

       [bigsleep] ?Wouldn't a neutral to ground short, unbalance the phase neutral measurement of the RCD because the lower resistance earth is carrying some of the current hence a badly wired plug would trip the board RCD as soon as it's plugged in?   

       Three faults would be needed, your plug fault, an earth resistance fault plus the new perfectly balanced load of a human body electric capillary act.
wjt, Apr 15 2019

       // "it's not a containment failure, it's an experiment." //   

       Two words: Jurassic ... Park ...   

       You could be the next Phil Tippet ...
8th of 7, Apr 15 2019

       What's containment?. Isn't it just experiment and peer ridicule.
wjt, Apr 16 2019


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