Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Sound of Toast

The kitchen is alive with the sound of... toast.
  (+21, -1)(+21, -1)(+21, -1)
(+21, -1)
  [vote for,

If you have ever gotten close up to your toaster while it is in action, you know that bread makes a wonderful sizzling sound when it is being toasted. Tsss... tsss... as the moisture in the bread heats up. The proposed toaster is equipped with high fidelity microphones and a Dolby surround-sound speaker system so that you can listen to your toast's morning song without the risk of also toasting your ear. The toaster is also equipped with a conventional bell to tell you when the toast is done, but you can think of this as a training bell. After you have become fluent in toast-speak, you will know from the sound when it is ready to eat.
swimswim, May 03 2010

Musical_20Toast Not the same as Musical Toast, but the products could possibly share the speaker system. [swimswim, May 03 2010]

Does anyone want any toast? http://www.youtube....watch?v=LRq_SAuQDec
[jaksplat, May 03 2010]

Our aim should be to have a mic-ed toaster that is accurate enough to do this: http://www.youtube....watch?v=7XR7OpM2Ufk
F1 engine music. [Jinbish, May 07 2010]


       Toast is the most (+).
normzone, May 03 2010

       It bothers me so much that I'm going to bun this idea myself [+].
swimswim, May 03 2010

       If you turn the volume up, you can hear them screaming.
DrWorm, May 03 2010

       and me [+]
pocmloc, May 03 2010

       Oops. Voted...   

       I'm waiting for the audio CD "Toast: Greatest Hits".
normzone, May 03 2010

       Me toaster is mute, I tell ya. I would have to stick my head dangerously close to the heating elements to catch a phrase of talking toast, I think. Ouch, there goes that eyebrow...singe...there goes that eyelash...
blissmiss, May 03 2010

       In Space, no-one can hear your toast scream ...
8th of 7, May 03 2010

       I only wish I had more than one [+] to give.
awesomest, May 03 2010

       Does this toast sound french to you?   

       + Well writ.   

       daniello, if you are so moved to bun beyond one, may I suggest you bun swimswim's sad little Ladder Pants P.R.O. idea, the only bones on swimswim's list.  I suspect swimswim is fond of it and so has left it flagging there.  I'm bunning it myself because... I kinda like it!
Mustardface, May 04 2010

       Did it sound like David Gates?   

       //I'm waiting for the audio CD "Toast: Greatest Hits".// Unfortunately, [normzone], all you are likely to get is another stale "Bread" album.
jurist, May 04 2010

       I'll join the bun parade. I almost always eat cracked wheat bread, and sometimes I can hear the odd uncracked kernel go POP while in the toaster. I could take this idea to the next level and hook up a huge honkin' subwoofer so the popping sounds like artillery shells.   

       <misquoting (with audio track of helicopters passing overhead): "I love the smell of cracked wheat toast in the morning. It smells like.....breakfast.">
Canuck, May 04 2010

       Brilliant! I might actually bother eating breakfast if it were an acoustic experience.
In No Particular Order, May 04 2010

       Cameras should also project a view of the toasting action onto a giant screen.   

       OK, cameras should film the toasting and feed a signal to projectors which do the projecting, but you get the idea.
pocmloc, May 04 2010

       [pocmloc], I think you are really on to something here. Toast is destined for IMAX.
swimswim, May 04 2010

       [pocmloc] As a screensaver toast toasting would work rather well. Would also be a coy reference to "After Dark." Or as an animated desktop, at 1/5th speed.
mouseposture, May 05 2010

       IT} you are dead right, that is indeed the best marmalade available in the world today.   

       The hissing noise is particularly noticeable with fruit loaf, as the sultanas boil... how are you going to filter out the bell noise from your amplifier, though? Otherwise you're going to get the shock of your life when the toast pops.
moomintroll, May 06 2010

       homemade is better
pocmloc, May 06 2010

       This is brilliant - and could be expanded to include other cookery methods too - I'd like to mike-up my hob, grill, oven and fridge so I can enjoy being fully sensorially immersed whilst cooking my dinner. Imagine, sight, taste, sound - it's what the kitchen needs!
zen_tom, May 07 2010


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