h a l f b a k e r y
I like this idea, only I think it should be run by the government.
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Think of a baby diaper changing table. Now think of it as \_/ shaped with the base full of airholes that pull air in. At the sides are angled warm airjets that are directed at the baby to be sucked away at the base. A filter cartridge filters the air for smell.
This makes changing babies less odoriferous,
improving the well being of parents.
Also you can imagine a Dyson version, with the changing table being smoothly U shaped, lined with silicone polymer and the holes replaced with micro sized silicone upside down J shapes so they wipe clean rather than clog. The air might be noiseless from fancy O shaped air entrainment air emitters. Figuring out the quiet fan is very important.
||Imagine what could get sucked into those holes for a
moment. Other than that, this is your best idea.
||Turn up the suction so baby can't move.
||Vacuum the baby's butt clean.