h a l f b a k e r y
Veni, vidi, teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini.
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Being with a special friend recently, who
now has a new baby, made me realise
babies spend a lot of time on their backs,
waving their arms and legs in the air.
attracts much admiration and saccharin
coated comments from well meaning
I have designed a new outfit
advantage of the opportunities afforded
this situation. It takes the form of a
realistic Bluebottle costume, complete
folded gossamer wings, and six legs.
Baby is happily zipped into the new
her shining face now smiling out below
the twin complex eyes of the fly. Her
and legs are inside four of the fly's limbs,
with the other two waving about
Her nappy becomes the dark, segmented
abdomen. The transformation is
She now looks like A Happy Bluebottle.
Breast feeding and nappy changes
take on a new dimension especially in
poorly illuminated, public places.
Also available in Adult Size
...must be sweaty to wear though. [xenzag, Aug 11 2007]
Now in Green
for the environmentally aware [xenzag, Aug 11 2007]
These are bees, but they are just as happy [xenzag, Aug 13 2007]
||this might prove to be one of the great sociological experiments of all time; how will people respond to a truly not cute baby.
||Could there be a leech version for
||//Who's the father; Jeff Goldblum?// Al
||I'm going to give this a +, for the sheer wackiness, and the more I think about it, the more wacky it gets.
||Thank you [ling] - I should have added
that the "insect's segmented abdomen"
nappy range is a now under
consideration by "Pampers" for full scale
||You could line the walls of the nursery with flypaper. Simply attach the baby to a section of the wall if you need to pick up a rattle or something.
||I've now realised what this idea reminds me of - it's a short story by Roald Dahl in which a baby, fed on Royal Jelly (the stuff bees feed the queen bee with), turns into a bee.
||As creepy as Kafka's Metamorphosis?
||(off track) I have a dead blue bottle, legs up, on my dash board and I haven't taken the bother to remove it. it keeps me in mind of this idea every time I drive and I'm getting rather sick of it. *sigh* Guess it's time to get the bug sucker out...