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Royal Skill-Training Institute

Even royalty needs a purpose.
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As an American transplant to Canada, I've always been baffled by people's preoccupation with royalty. I mean, royals are nice---most of them, at least---but what exactly is it they, um, you know... do? They turn up in public places, wave, shake hands, make small talk... Despite the adulation, it can't be much of a life. They must feel terribly trivial, albeit in a grandiose way. That's why I think we should start a discreet little place called the Royal Skill-Training Institute, where royalty could learn a couple of actual, tangible skills. Nothing very demanding: A bit of juggling. Artistic napkin-folding. Some balloon art. Pet caricatures. Bird calls. Scalp massage. Maybe a little tap-dancing. Things that can be done almost anywhere, with a minimum of equipment. And you know, once royals started learning how to actual do something, I think we'd see a big drop in all that tabloid-grabbing flakiness. I mean, they're only human. If I couldn't do anything, I'd act dysfunctionally, too.
Ander, Jun 28 2000

Another use for the royal family http://www.halfbake..._20Family_20Lottery
[Lemon, Jun 28 2000, last modified Oct 05 2004]

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       i hear that charles is quite adept with the waterpaints...
pixelswisher, Jun 28 2000
  

       How about if they not only learned a skill, they prodeced something? Who would not want to buy an animal balloon from the Queen? Or how about princely tie-dyes? Maybe they could become actors and perform on a new version of In Living Color? I still most enjoy the idea of buying a friendship bracelet woven by a royal. But if they do learn tap dancing, who is to say they should not be rented out at parties and bahmitzvahs, the money they make could go toward lowering the cost of gaso
spalding, Jun 28 2000
  

       One time I was known as Prince Puddin' Pants'n'PIckle Ass of Upper Newark
vincenzo, Jun 28 2000
  

       A particularly tasteless individual might suggest they could be trained to clear minefields. Not me though. Oh no.
Lemon, Jun 28 2000
  

       The Queen of Canada (Elizabeth II, you've probably seen her picture on the loonie) can field-strip a Jeep. Now that's a skill that comes in handy!
Redbird, Jun 28 2000
  

       Am I allowed to annotate my own message? What a concept.
Ander, Jul 26 2000
  

       Yeah, teaching the Royals to do useful things or parlor tricks would be a great idea. Far from the inbreeding, miscegenation, and all-round uselessness they excel at now......
BigThor, Sep 02 2000
  
      
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