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Dyson Vacuum cleaners promise "loss-
less suction". This
is due in part to having
no bag which otherwise contributes to
diminishing efficiency as it gradually fills
up with dust.
That's all very well until you have to
the bagless chamber and the dust goes
everywhere. If only the
Dyson had studied the humble ruminant,
his vacuum cleaners would be able to
have both loss-less suction and mess
Ruminant is the generic name given to
animals like the cow, which have more
than one stomach. Strictly speaking they
only have one stomach but it is
into a number of chambers called the
rumen, reticulum, omasum, and
abomasum. Food enters the first
is regurgitated, re-chewed in the form of
cud, then makes its way back through
sequence of the other compartments of
the stomach before it progresses to the
Anyway, in the Ruminant Dyson a similar
digestion takes place, only this time
appropriate to the processing of
household dust and not herbivorous
Vacuuming is undertaken by the lossless
process, but after cleaning is finished,
the Ruminant Dyson stored away, it
remains switched on as it enters its
"digestion mode". This may be called
During this phase, dust held in the first
container is migrated to that of the
where binding agents, and enzymes are
cause the dust to coagulate into material
of a porridge like consistency. In a
subsequent chamber, the homogenised
dust is compressed and formed into a
string of eco-plastic covered sausages,
which finally emerge some hours later.
These can be cleanly handled and may be
used as a fertilizer nutrient for either
the garden, or indoor plants
Like its bovine inspiration, Ruminant
Dyson requires little maintenance. As
as it is used frequently, to ensure that its
digesting chambers do not dry up, and it
is kept supplied with enough dust;
digesting enzyme; and eco-plastic
it will give many years of loyal service.
*Note* Ruminant Dyson cannot be used
Vacuum packing vacuum cleaner
My take. [phoenix, Jun 29 2008]
they look good, sound good, but the skips here (known as dumpsters in the colonies) are full of them [xenzag, Jun 30 2008]
The overpriced Rainbow Vaccum
[Klaatu, Jun 30 2008]
||Build in a rechargeable battery, and a small peltier-effect dehumidifier. Then it can condesne water from the atmosphere to perform the "porridge" part of the operation, removing the need for topping up with water by the user. The battery can slo power the "digestion" process. Water can be recovered from the extruded, solidified crud by passing it over the "warm" side of the peltier plate, and venting the warm, moist air over the cold side to recover unwanted moisture. A cartridge of starch-based adhesive, like a photocopier toner cartridge, can be used to "bind" the crud into lumps; the plastic tubing may be unecessary.
||Don't step in the Dyson patties. [+]
||Good idea, but ruminants are a very impractical building material for Dyson Spheres. maybe if you freeze-dried them...
||This process sequesters carbon...in space!! Raise cows, freeze-dry them (to reduce weight), then launch them into space to take their places in the Bison-Dyson-Sphere.
||I thought this was going to be a shell
around a star, with grass and cows on the
||//Ruminant Dyson cannot be used to produce milk.//
||Now, *that's* a challenge! Watch this space...
||Would you accept cheese? Maybe you could vary the enzymes a bit, then carefully spill some milk, vacuum it up and... something.
||I was going to suggest cheese as well. Probably the prior contents of the reservoir would serve as a starter culture.
||I've used a Rainbow Vacuum <link> and normally what comes out is a thick, brown sludge. I would prefer that the Dyson dehydrate the water and via a sphincter valve, and actually deposit a "turd" when parked and after vacuuming is completed. If it had a home dock, like the Roomba, it could be lined with paper or shredded bark for easy clean-up.
||[optional grunting sounds not included]
||By the way, are the Brits calling them 'Dysons' now, rather than 'Hoovers'?