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Ruminant Dyson

vacuum cleaner with extra stomachs
  (+13, -3)(+13, -3)
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Dyson Vacuum cleaners promise "loss- less suction". This is due in part to having no bag which otherwise contributes to diminishing efficiency as it gradually fills up with dust.

That's all very well until you have to empty the bagless chamber and the dust goes everywhere. If only the supposed genius Dyson had studied the humble ruminant, his vacuum cleaners would be able to have both loss-less suction and mess free emptying.

Ruminant is the generic name given to animals like the cow, which have more than one stomach. Strictly speaking they only have one stomach but it is subdivided into a number of chambers called the rumen, reticulum, omasum, and abomasum. Food enters the first chamber, is regurgitated, re-chewed in the form of cud, then makes its way back through the sequence of the other compartments of the stomach before it progresses to the intestinal system.

Anyway, in the Ruminant Dyson a similar digestion takes place, only this time appropriate to the processing of household dust and not herbivorous material.

Vacuuming is undertaken by the lossless process, but after cleaning is finished, and the Ruminant Dyson stored away, it remains switched on as it enters its standby "digestion mode". This may be called "chewing the crud".

During this phase, dust held in the first container is migrated to that of the second where binding agents, and enzymes are added. These cause the dust to coagulate into material of a porridge like consistency. In a subsequent chamber, the homogenised dust is compressed and formed into a string of eco-plastic covered sausages, which finally emerge some hours later. These can be cleanly handled and may be used as a fertilizer nutrient for either the garden, or indoor plants

Like its bovine inspiration, Ruminant Dyson requires little maintenance. As long as it is used frequently, to ensure that its digesting chambers do not dry up, and it is kept supplied with enough dust; digesting enzyme; and eco-plastic tubing, it will give many years of loyal service.

*Note* Ruminant Dyson cannot be used to produce milk.

xenzag, Jun 29 2008

Vacuum packing vacuum cleaner Vacuum_20packing_20vacuum_20cleaner
My take. [phoenix, Jun 29 2008]

Dyson Vacuum http://www.dyson.co...mpaigntopic=vacuums
they look good, sound good, but the skips here (known as dumpsters in the colonies) are full of them [xenzag, Jun 30 2008]

The overpriced Rainbow Vaccum http://www.rainbows...rainbowsystem/main/
[Klaatu, Jun 30 2008]

[link]






       Build in a rechargeable battery, and a small peltier-effect dehumidifier. Then it can condesne water from the atmosphere to perform the "porridge" part of the operation, removing the need for topping up with water by the user. The battery can slo power the "digestion" process. Water can be recovered from the extruded, solidified crud by passing it over the "warm" side of the peltier plate, and venting the warm, moist air over the cold side to recover unwanted moisture. A cartridge of starch-based adhesive, like a photocopier toner cartridge, can be used to "bind" the crud into lumps; the plastic tubing may be unecessary.   

       [+]
8th of 7, Jun 29 2008
  

       Don't step in the Dyson patties. [+]
Klaatu, Jun 29 2008
  

       Needs more...
cowbell
  

       Good idea, but ruminants are a very impractical building material for Dyson Spheres. maybe if you freeze-dried them...   

       This process sequesters carbon...in space!! Raise cows, freeze-dry them (to reduce weight), then launch them into space to take their places in the Bison-Dyson-Sphere.
sninctown, Jun 30 2008
  

       I thought this was going to be a shell around a star, with grass and cows on the inside.
nomocrow, Jun 30 2008
  

       //Ruminant Dyson cannot be used to produce milk.//   

       Now, *that's* a challenge! Watch this space...   

       .   

       .   

       Would you accept cheese? Maybe you could vary the enzymes a bit, then carefully spill some milk, vacuum it up and... something.
pertinax, Jun 30 2008
  

       I was going to suggest cheese as well. Probably the prior contents of the reservoir would serve as a starter culture.
bungston, Jun 30 2008
  

       I've used a Rainbow Vacuum <link> and normally what comes out is a thick, brown sludge. I would prefer that the Dyson dehydrate the water and via a sphincter valve, and actually deposit a "turd" when parked and after vacuuming is completed. If it had a home dock, like the Roomba, it could be lined with paper or shredded bark for easy clean-up.   

       [optional grunting sounds not included]
Klaatu, Jun 30 2008
  

       By the way, are the Brits calling them 'Dysons' now, rather than 'Hoovers'?
phoenix, Jun 30 2008
  
      
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