Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Satan Juice

The cola for those who've sold their soul
  (+5, -15)(+5, -15)
(+5, -15)
  [vote for,

Satan juice is the cola for the morally corrupt. It would be bottled in fascist countries and the raw ingredients exploitively gathered from 3rd world countries. All the workers that work for the Satan juice farms would be slaves.

Satan juice would have some secret ingredients to turn Satan juice drinkers into addicts.

I suggest:-

Fill it with cocaine to make the drinker an arrogant snidey arsehole. Add lots of sugar to make the drinker unhealthy. Put caffiene in to make the drinker hyper-active. Put enough alcohol in to to make the drinker reckless and aggressive.

It's marketing would encourage and glamourise evil deeds. The smug slurper of Satan juice would percieve himself to have one up on his neighbours.

It could in time hijack some relgious feastival as it's own and turn that time into a evil frenzy of capitalist perversions.

Pat-O-Cake, Jan 11 2008

Cocaine Energy Drink http://www.cocaine-drink.com/
[skinflaps, Jan 11 2008]

just as evil... http://www.lightningdrink.com/
if not more so [jaksplat, Jan 11 2008]

OddWorld: Soul Storm Brew http://oddworldlibr.../toe/SoulStorm_Brew
The brilliantly evil and addictive beverage from the "OddWorld" series of games. [jutta, Jan 11 2008]


       And this differs from Coca Cola how, exactly?
DrCurry, Jan 11 2008

       [-] sorry, but I don't like this at all. It's full of negativity and not really funny a bit. These are sad issues and if they have a parellel in the real world, they are even sadder.
xandram, Jan 11 2008

       Terrible idea -
skinflaps, Jan 11 2008

       I know its a very bad idea. Hopefully if any bakers that have any similar products on their desk they should pour them away now.
Pat-O-Cake, Jan 11 2008

       We already have enough arrogant, reckless, aggressive people in the world without trying to create more. [-]
37PiecesOf Flair, Jan 11 2008

       This is just nasty for the saké of it. Bone magnet.
xenzag, Jan 11 2008

       [+]full of sarcasm... perfect! Hitler had daily injections of crystal meth. He would have been a proud sponsor.
CoolSolutions, Jan 11 2008

       Sarcasm, maybe, but not funny. I can go down to the Oriental market and buy strange beverages imported from third-world countries, or just toddle over to Starbucks and get sugary caffeine, callous exploitation and soul-draining abuse. [-]
baconbrain, Jan 11 2008

       // soul-draining abuse //   

       Why go that far ? We can give you all you want (and more) right here ....
8th of 7, Jan 11 2008

       Thank you. Can I get a mocha shot with that?
baconbrain, Jan 11 2008

       Yup. Here you are sir, with a Sour Grape and Hard Cheese side salad.
8th of 7, Jan 11 2008

       This is truly, truly awful. I mean, for god's sake, [Pat-O-Cake], "caffiene"??? "perceive"???? Jeeeezus.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 12 2008

       corect spelling? - Paleeeze... this is just the kind of drink that could be served at a bored of directors meeting
CoolSolutions, Jan 12 2008

       Mwahahahaha! This is pure evil, and with just a slight touch of elegance and sophistication. Now if I could just reincarnate into ozzy osbourn for a day or two and try it out.... do I get to drive my hummer over the neighbor's petunas and then whiz on her driveway before clammering up to her door asking her out on a date while listening to metallica? Doesn't she just have to say yes when she see's how cool I look doing that? Also, I'm going to toss the can out of the window on the freeway and smash out a speed camera while going 120 getting away from the cops and weaving through traffic.
quantum_flux, Jan 12 2008

       [MB] sp: Jeeeezus: Jesus
gr: god's: God's

DenholmRicshaw, Jan 12 2008

       //Hopefully if any bakers that have any similar products on their desk they should pour them away now//   

       Does homemade expresso with sugar and milk count?   

       Note: I might need to put some satan juice into the gas tank of the hummer and take the governer off in order to achieve 120 mph.
quantum_flux, Jan 12 2008

       Cocaine, sugar, caffeine and alcohol. Sounds like a lot of nights I don't remember.
theleopard, Jan 12 2008

       Did you think this up as like the opposite of Michael Jackson's "Jesus Juice"??? Because that wasn't good he was doing but bad, by using alchohol as a manipulation. Then going along the theory of "Jesus Juice" being evil, you just went off on a tangent and got lost in this idea? Because that's what it reads as...
The collector, Jan 12 2008

       //gr: god's: God's// I'm currently worshipping an apprentice god, hence the lowercase "G". He hasn't even taken his City and Guilds in omnipresence yet. In fact, I have a suspicion that he may be an envelope manufacturer from Leeds. I'll keep you posted.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 12 2008


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