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Self Zippering Pants

Pants that zipper themselves
  (+1, -5)
(+1, -5)
  [vote for,
against]

I've been caught with my zipper down far too many times, and I figure many other people have as well. So, I propose that someone make pants that zipper themselves. One of the most prominent concerns is the possibility of...um..stopage (!), so there should be some safety measures in place (similar to those found in garage doors). With the auto-zipper in place, you fears of being seen with you fly down are gone!
timdorr, Sep 18 2001

High Flyer http://www.halfbake...m/idea/High_20Flyer
My take on the problem intersperced with lashings of self-promotion. [sdm, Sep 18 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

The Todger Torch http://www.halfbake...idea/Todger_20Torch
"Gentlemen: pee with confidence..." [bristolz, Apr 27 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

[link]






       This is all very well for women, but how would the zipper AI know not to zip itself up during a gentleman's bladder evacuation? (ouch!)
Lemon, Sep 18 2001
  

       Boy, the Amish would REALLY be against these.
mrthingy, Oct 11 2001
  

       Sorry, im gonna vote against this one, the possibility for immense pain and possible permanent physical damage is too dangerous for me to endorse.
beta, Apr 27 2002
  

       Attaching, to the bottom of the penis, a special, wedge-shaped, pierced-stud 'zipper stop' that prevents the zipper from closing should do the trick. If the piercing is too much, I'm sure the zipper stop could be attached with a hose clamp or pipe clamp.   

       Alternatively, a guy could could don the todger torch (link).
bristolz, Apr 27 2002
  

       "And this years winner of the Darwin awards goes to Pete McPeterson, who zipped himself right off..."
RayfordSteele, Apr 27 2002
  

       You could put some sort of alarm system in that detects if your fly is down and vibrates or beeps every 5 minutes if it is. it could turn on when you're buttoned and turn off when you're not.
jonman, Jan 16 2003
  

       You could run elastic behind the zipper so that if you do happen to forget to zip, at least the elastic would close up the gap for you (assuming you pants actually fit you...)
MuddyBuddy, Feb 14 2004
  

       magic ?
NeoPiter, Jul 20 2004
  

       It's good to see I'm not the only one who panicked on sight of the title to this idea. Go get yourself some elastic pants and keep your death-trap away from my little friend.
GutPunchLullabies, Jul 20 2004
  

       No electronic sensors, batteries or wires around there...
Porsche911, Jul 21 2004
  

       The trouble with most things "automatic" is that they work when you don't want them to and don't when you do. Either way with this device the outcome would be devastating.
tasman, Jul 22 2004
  

       I'm against this idea.For one reason it's good to show off,and another you can thank someone for noticing.(if they point out your fly is open).Means they were checking you out.
python, Jul 22 2004
  
      
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