h a l f b a k e r y
"More like a cross between an onion, a golf ball, and a roman multi-tiered arched aquaduct."
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This way, rather than yawns and watch glances, I imagine I would
get more chuckles and, "thank you"'s.
||Yeah, or maybe it should have a cross-platform-
compatible channel-switching-capability so that
victims could change channels from sports scores
pornography to Pinterest to the shopping channel.
Actually, maybe I should also invent a Google Glass
app for me that obscures the real world and
displays a crowd of people looking interested and
smiling and nodding their heads every time I pause
raise my eyebrows mid-soliloquy.
||I thought maybe this would be for Red Sox fans or
some other perpetual underdog. Or maybe some
super winning team but the tie would modestly
downplay the success - eg "Cleveland had a lot out
with injuries" or "They always do well at home".