Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Self service pub

No need for a bar or queues, serve yourself
  [vote for,

This was an idea drawn up over a few beers a while back. Basically a pub where there is no need for a bar or bar staff (in the bar anyway).

Your mates and yourself sit at tables that have an area in the middle which is kind of like a techie dumb-waiter, and that has a credit card reader on a small console. When you want a drink you use the console to place your order, and swipe your card once you're done. The order gets sent to the drinks preparation area (below the main bar) where the bar staff place your drinks on the dumb-waiter type device for your table, which then delivers ice cold drinks to the middle of your table.

That's about it really.

Morals, Aug 07 2003

Yo Below (Flash) http://www.yosushi.com/
Yo Below (part of yo-sushi) have self service beer... [liamdelahunty, Oct 04 2004]

justaguy's link from below. http://www.barmonkey.net/v2.asp
[DrBob, Oct 04 2004]

Robotic Bartender http://www.motoman.com/news/pr.asp?ID=36
you can now be ignored by a robotic bartender! [crater, Jun 08 2005]


       Does it simulate the funny, disapproving look the bartender gives me when I order a Smirnoff Ice?
DeathNinja, Aug 07 2003

       I guess you could have staff around to chat to and handle any emergencies, such as major spillage situations. Or have a small bar for people who can be bothered to move from their table to get a round in?
Morals, Aug 07 2003

       wow. +1 make mine a lager.   

       this is brilliant! except that I want to pull my own pint.
po, Aug 07 2003

       And what do you do with the jackasses who simply swipe the first round to come out of the dumb waiter...?
DrCurry, Aug 07 2003

       In the first class Air Canada lounge they have a self serve bar. Hard liquor, Pop, Beer, Wine.....   

       They have a few people who seem to wander around aimlessly cleaning spills and picking up empty glasses. The whole system works well.
SystemAdmin, Aug 07 2003

       Theft shouldn't be too much of an issue as each table's drinks are served in the centre, so they'll be surrounded by your mates and yourself who are sat at the table. Bouncers could be employed in case of any trouble too.
Morals, Aug 07 2003

       Bubutbutbutbut.....no barkeeps!?!<panics> Who are we to ogle at when the pub isn't busy? Who do we tell our woes to? Who calls us a cab when we're too pissed to move? Who keeps us company when we go to the pub alone? Who is the central pillar of the pub community gossip? Who gets to shag all the regulars? Who bars annoying wankers? Who lets you stay for a lock-in? Who gives you change for the fag/johnny machine? Who warns you off the pub bad'uns? Who lends you their darts when you've forgotten your own? Who (if female) has to bend over repeatedly to get crisps from the bottom box which only the men seem to be buying? Who rings last orders? Who rules the T.V remote control? Who do we ask to "top up" a short measure? Who knows what we drink without us having to order? Who do we say "keep the change" to? Or "and one for yourself"? Who acts as the argument referee? Who, in fact, is the human face of the establishment?
This is a launderette with lager.
squeak, Aug 08 2003

       This has depressed me more than I can say. I mourn the demise of the good, old-fashioned, local pub. They're all being replaced with damn Witherspoon hellholes, Yates wine bars, Firkin this and Firkin that, Revolution vodka bars (do we really need jelly bean 'n' cream soda vodka, I ask you), soulless, joyless chrome edged pits with uniformed 18 year old barstaff who have no experience and have never seen a beer pump, which sell fizzy, tastless piss and alkopop instead of proper beer, american theme bars like TGINGT Fridays (Thank God I Never Go To..), pubs...PUBS, remember, with dress codes, pubs with failed DJ's blasting out crappy chart music so loud that no one can talk, fucking bollocky, psuedo-trendy dives from hades run by catering managers....   

squeak, Aug 08 2003

       Do I know you? That sounds familiar.
angel, Aug 08 2003

       I don't get it. You're not making your own drinks, someone else is, only they're in another area. How is this self service?
snarfyguy, Aug 08 2003

       I with squeak and his rant here. Where I live pubs are been converted in student flats.
sufc, Aug 09 2003

       I'll say!
thumbwax, Aug 09 2003

       I've a sneaking suspicion this is baked. I'm of to look for a link.
custardlove, Aug 09 2003

       Already baked in my yard, it's called The Cooler. I'll grab your first one, after that, you're on your own. Pee in the shrubs after dark, saves my well from drying up and don't have to clean the loo so much next day.
lintkeeper2, Aug 09 2003

       Who gave this a bun? Come on. Own up! Own up and accept your punishment.
squeak, Aug 11 2003

       See. It's 8 hours later now and no one has owned up.The only one who can be proven guilty is [Morals] who has to stand in the corner with his face to the wall in my local chain pub until he's really, really sorry. No, better with his face to the rest of the room to make him confront the full horror. No, sentence him to eternity in a sticky floored Yates wine lodge at happy hour on an understaffed Saturday when the only drinks available are Blastaways or Maddog and the DJ is playing a Mariah Carey medley. That'll learn him.
squeak, Aug 11 2003

       That means... no more cute bartenders to flirt with? Damn, I rather fix my own drinks at home then.
Pericles, Aug 11 2003

       Ok, I apologise - I wasn't thinking clearly when I came up with this idea. I'm sorry.
Morals, Aug 11 2003

       Hey hey! hold on a sec, don't be so hard on yourself! It's not so bad: it's an original idea, well structured and you at least got the effort to share it. Keep trying!
Pericles, Aug 11 2003

       Well, I think the idea's good. Less angry customers waiting at the bar. But I think a better idea would be if customers paid on the door and were able to make their own drinks. It would be an interesting concept to have bar staff with good drink knowledge around to chat to, or teach cocktail training, teach pint pouring, it would be fun!
boozyrouze, Apr 22 2004

justaguy, Apr 22 2004

       Sounds horrific. I agree with every comment that squeak has made on this idea. You might as well sit on a park bench with half a bottle of vodka and a can of Special Brew.
DrBob, Apr 23 2004

       This is a bad idea for the bar staff. Without punters to be mardy to, to flick peanuts at, to play off one another so as to start fights and breed enmity, to just *chat* with when the night is slow, the staff would go absolutely pig mental.
calum, Apr 23 2004

       Tonight's going to be interesting. My local is a proper pub but it's also an Irish pub (please note: NOT an irish theme bar). I'll be out celebrating St. George's day. Wonder how long it'll take before a fight starts?
squeak, Apr 23 2004

       I'd say that's entirely contingent on the rambunctiousness of the parties. Twenty minutes?
calum, Apr 23 2004


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