Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Seussian Telemarketing

Horton hears from who?
 
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<RINGGG!>
"Hello?"
"Hello! Is this Mr. Horton, of 121 Mulberry Street?"
"This is."
"My name is Sammy, of Iam Enterprises, and I have an exciting offer for you in the world of cuisine foods. Wouldn't you just love our mulberry jam?"
"I would not, Sam of Iam."
"Howabout ten grams of yams?"
"I do not need them, Mr. Sam."
"Not even with a leg of lamb?"
"I'm hanging up now, Sam of Iam."
"We also have some very fine clams."
"What are you running, some kind of scam? I wish I had caller ID."
"We offer that sir, for a fee."
"If I buy it, will you let me be?"
"I'll swear to it, now, you will see!"
"Would you try it in your house?"
I'll have to discuss it with my spouse."
RayfordSteele, Aug 28 2003

Army Of Darkness http://www.olelo.ha...00/seuss-papale.jpg
Is he breeding a death hoarde of evil minions? Beware. [DeathNinja, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

I am a teletubbymarketer http://www.halfbake...20teletubbymarketer
With much chagrin, I recognize the similarity of RS's idea with mine. I promise, promise, promise mine was conceived independently. [beauxeault, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Seuss Landing at Islands of Adventure http://themeparks.u...te/attr_suess1.html
That cat [goff, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

[link]






       (later)   

       "I discussed the jam, with my spouse"
"She though you were some kind of louse"
"I cannot forsee the purchase of yams"
"Even though I am fond of those, Mr. Sam"
  

       "I want you to take me off your list"
"And burn the paper, not a piece missed"
"I registered at donocall.gov"
"So, I'm afraid you're screwed, my love."
Cedar Park, Aug 29 2003
  

       "Telemarketer and victim converse in rhyming couplets."
I guess there must be more to it than that but I cannot see it. Anyone feel like helping me out here?
angel, Aug 29 2003
  

       One fish, two fish, red fish ...croissant!
  

       Mr Horton,
Should've bought an-
other pot and when the man,
said do you want some of my jam,
Said "some of your jam, no, no, my man,
I've got some thanks". (I know, it does not scan!)
goff, Aug 29 2003
  

       <Python>
We dine well here in Camelot
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot
</Python>
DrBob, Aug 29 2003
  

       Donates his bread to [Bubba] for rendering my favorite Seuss passage of all time.
  

       I know my verse was somewhat thinnish
But it was late, and I had work to finish.
RayfordSteele, Aug 29 2003
  

       [reensure] Oh, I thought the idea was simply "Wouldn't it be funny if telemarketers replicated the conversational vernacular of a Dr Seuss book, and couldn't I give some people on the half-bakery a bit of a laugh if I rendered a facsimile of same for their enjoyment".
But I could be wrong...
  

       BTW, anyone else been to Universal Studios Islands of adventure in Florida? There is a Dr Seuss island with rides and everythign for little ones. It was brill! Check out the link. I especially like the fountain featuring the three variously coloured fish to whom I alluded earlier, but the rides are good too (Car-Seuss-el almost looks like a pre-baked halfbakery idea!) check out the movies!
goff, Aug 29 2003
  

       brill? Whassat?   

       As much as I enjoyed the rhymes here, I'm kind of with angel on this one.   

       There's a growing subset of non-ideas that are related to this. "Everyone [or a subgroup of everyone - in this case, telemarketers; in other examples, people who write email; lawyers; poets, etc.] should write/talk in the style of a) famous author/poet [Seuss, Shakespeare) or other person with a unique writing/speaking style." Poetic Legalese is definitely the grandfather of them all.   

       Personally I find the whole approach a bit tiring and just an invitation for a list. The results are often entertaining, granted, but on the whole I'd prefer to see the brain power devoted to new and better original ideas.
waugsqueke, Aug 29 2003
  

       yes [goff], twas spectacular, like walking through the pages of one of his books. Recall the food stand? "Snack, Snack, Have a Snack. Have a Snack with Brown and Black."   

       Also have to agree with [angel], there's not really an idea here.
lintkeeper2, Aug 29 2003
  

       Ah, thanks UB... then I must say your anno to this idea was brill, despite my objections.
waugsqueke, Aug 29 2003
  

       [reensure]: Nothing is much clearer than before, but at least now I know why. As I am not a parent, I have no idea who or what Dr Seuss is or was, or why this is apparently such a fine idea.
angel, Aug 29 2003
  

       I admit, a small part of my reason for posting was to explore the whole notion that timing is everything. Funny, take something useful, like email, add some Shakespeare, and it gets boned, if just for later discourse. But take something that most people dislike, like telemarketing, and throw a sillier spin on it, and you win bread. Just a little odd.   

       The core idea here was to increase the propensity for customers to keep listening by using some form of clever poetry.
RayfordSteele, Aug 29 2003
  
      
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