h a l f b a k e r y
Professional croissant on closed course. Do not attempt.
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Just like the regular Olympics, except bribery, blackmail, and extortion of
the judges is not only allowed, but expected and encouraged. It's just not
spoken about publicly. All countries that aim to compete still have to put in
some nominal effort so as to keep up the illusion that everything
is on the
levelnot that anyone actually believes that, but everyone still pretends it is
for the sake of drama.
See the tension mount as the eighth-ranked gymnast takes home the gold due
to basest cronyism. Witness the fur fly as the judge declares that the runner
in lane 7 must have tripped over her own feet, when the video replay clearly
shows she was blatantly pushed by the runner in lane 6. Watch hilarity ensue
as the clock mysteriously malfunctions for the top-ranked swimmer,
leading to his disqualification on murky and inexplicable technical grounds.
And drug testing? Yeah, sure. Those athletes might be peeing into a cup,
but those cups don't make it past the first storm drain outside the stadium
not that they're necessary to come back with proof of doping.
It'd be kind of like pro wrestling in terms of the mass suspension of disbelief,
and probably way more fun to watch than the straight Olympics.
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||What's that gymnast doing under the judges table?
||The IOC would sue you for copyright
infringement, or more likely send a couple of
Eastern European lady weightlifters round to
show your knees the error of their ways with
||With all the cheating and bias going on, this idea's baked.
||Like a 16 year old female swimmer shaving 5.2
seconds off her recorded PB, and swimming a final lap
of 8 in a 400m event faster than the winner of the
equivalent men's event?
||I suspect the idea here is not only baked but that
there are loaves of it preserved among the grave
goods in tombs in the Valley Of Kings.
||Note that she also grew 4 inches in 2 years.
||I've read this twice, and I'm not sure I understand.
How is this different from the actual Olympics?
||I find it interesting that a few years ago i heard of
the "drug free Olympics" for real. Never heard about
it since. Did the IOC cap them? Or was it just too
||//The IOC would sue you for copyright infringement, or more likely send a couple of Eastern European lady weightlifters round to show your knees the error of their ways with baseball bats.//
||Or they could persuade me with their... wiles