Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Shower Orgasmatron

Insert penis for very clean relief.
  (+18, -1)(+18, -1)
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Shower attachment which would shoot powerful jets of water at the penis from every angle. Women have their fun with shower massagers, why not the same concept for men? I'd envision a tube with hollow walls and holes on the inner wall creating water jets. Ideally the tube could spin and/or the jets could pulsate. Good clean fun.
meteor, Oct 16 2000

(?) Itronix website for XC 6250 http://www.itronix....books/xc6250pro.asp
waterproof laptop with internet for porn [dr_photon, Mar 03 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

[link]






       Good clean fun? Not when you're finished with it it wont be....   

       Damn good idea though.
imagooAJ, Oct 17 2000
  

       I think that pouring cold water in the idea would be OK, but pouring cold water into the device itself would definitely have a detrimental effect.   

       And why Bratney Spears? It'd be much more fun with someone like Ginger Lynn Allen, or Heather Graham or Jenny McCarthy. (Sex is wasted on the young....)
BigThor, Oct 18 2000
  

       Halle Berry, my favorite scent. I'd like some good clean fun with her, Santa.
thumbwax, Oct 18 2000
  

       Actually this *would* be good clean fun when you're finished. It's a shower, so you can simply clean up when you're done.
BigThor, Oct 21 2000
  

       I don't think PeterSealy is justified in extrapolating from long-range shower jets to short-range flow through a rolled-up tube with tiny holes - that's about as different as a firehose is from a normal shower.   

       I still think a prototype with some sort of rotating masssage-action is both buildable and worth exploring
ping, Oct 21 2000
  

       <shudder> THERE'S a mental image that I didn't want...
StarChaser, Oct 24 2000
  

       Al Bore and sex stories...
StarChaser, Oct 27 2000
  

       Baked. My spouse.
bristolz, Oct 27 2000
  

       Bristolz: You're female? How does your spouse do it? <Wondering where he got the thing...>   

       <No, I don't want one, just want to see what it looks like.>
StarChaser, Oct 28 2000
  

       Yes, female, and my spouse is the shower orgasmatron. No extra equipment needed.
bristolz, Oct 29 2000
  

       Oh...Long night, sorry...
StarChaser, Oct 30 2000
  

       Whoah.. I just recently thought of this idea myself. Nice to know I'm not the only one who thinks this way.. ehhehe
VeXaR, Feb 20 2001
  

       Big-time bonus points for using the word "Orgasmatron"
salmon, Mar 07 2001
  

       and if the water is too hot? 'darling, er.... how do i say this?.... you wern't thinking of us having children were you?'
panthaz paradise, Apr 14 2001
  

       what happens if you slip and fall while you're using this?
AfroAssault, Apr 29 2001
  

       What about the porn? Laminate a playboy or printout? Why not have internet access in there! I recently got an Itronix XC-6250 (monochrome screen) rugged laptop from ebay for $150 (the COLOR version is $300). It is made of rubber coated magnesium alloy and meets/exceeds miloitary spec. for water, droppage, RF (emp???), etc. No i do not use it for porn nor have I taken it into the shower with me.It's a pentium 200 with 32 meg of ram (it's the OLD version so it's cheap on eBay, the new GoBook Max is $4000-5000). It does have a cellular CDPD modem, so if I paid $70(!!!) a month, I could have a 12kbps internet connection anywhere in the US. Just load the HDD with jpgs, or use a laplink parallel or serial cord for the networking. It does have two PCMCIA slots with a big metal door thingy covering them. The door won't close if the cards have any bits sticking out(like ethernet wires or antennas on wirless cards) and it won't be waterproof. Maybe take a wireless card and hack off the antenna block, and then solder a super thin 40 guage wire to the circuit board. then just shut the door, the gasket should mould around the ultra thin wire. Just let it stick out an inch. I think the laplink direct cable connection would be easiest. Sorry for sounding like an ad, I just don't know of any similar product. Does anyone make a waterproof LCD TV?
dr_photon, Mar 03 2002
  

       erm - does that look like one man's porn is another man's tech spec or what?
notripe, Mar 03 2002
  

       "Oooh, baby! Look at the interface ports on that one! I want to plug my joystick in and play allllll night long..."
StarChaser, Mar 03 2002
  

       Um, I meant images of women being displaayed on that laptop
dr_photon, Mar 03 2002
  

       // and my spouse is the shower orgasmatron. No extra equipment needed   

       Uhm, bristolz, won't this put a bit of a strain on your marriage (and your husband) when the Mr. Bristolz Powered Shower Orgasmatron goes to mass market?
mcscotland, Mar 04 2002
  

       I read an article not too long ago about a guy whose penis got stuck in the outflow of a motel swimming pool in the middle of the night. They had to drain the pool to release the vacuum. Some people will do anything to get their name in the papers.
dandr, Apr 06 2002
  

       Sends me into fits of laughter.   

       Also, recently read about an older couple that was having marital problems, and the wife superglued her husband's arse-cheeks together...   

       Poor bloke.
Pseudonym #3, Apr 07 2002
  
      
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