h a l f b a k e r yI CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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Sleeping Eye Dog
a new classification for assistance animals, for the justifiably paranoid. | |
This was inspired by an annotation to my iGuard post by 8th of 7.
This classification would allow me to register my dog as a legally
protected assistance animal to bring with me anywhere I go to
keep
a protective watch over me while I nap in the laundromat or on
the
bus, or in the break
room
at work. If lonely people can get such
acceptance for comfort
companions (and they can), this should be easy. Possibly
registered as a subtype of animal-assisted therapy (link), though I
think a subtype of seeing eye dog would be more accurate, since
the dog performs its service while your eyes are closed.
According to applicable Washington State law (see link for more
detail) a "disability" can be any abnormal sensory, mental, or
physical condition that is perceived to exist. I've got all 3 covered
with a nap. Sensory = recurring blindness, mental = paranoia, and
physical = exposure to external threats.
comfort animals
http://en.wikipedia...wiki/Comfort_animal
[21 Quest, Jan 24 2011]
I live in a fortunate state
http://www.hum.wa.g...QServiceAnimal.html
Fortunately, local laws in my area allow me to bring my dog with me to any place that is considered open to the public, and I cannot be required to show any proof of my dog's service status or of my condition (paranoia?). I do, however, have to claim to have a disability (again, I don't have to prove or demonstrate it) because service animal access laws only apply to disabled persons. This should be easy, as sleeping can be robustly argued as being a form of temporary disability (loss of senses). Thus, my idea is not necessary for me, but I shall leave it up for folks in more restricted locales. [21 Quest, Jan 24 2011]
Narcolepsy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcolepsy
Narcolepsy is a chronic sleep disorder, or dyssomnia,EBI, characterized by excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS) in which a person experiences extreme fatigue and possibly falls asleep at inappropriate times ... [baconbrain, Jan 24 2011]
3.7m sword
http://japantrip.tr...achi/norimitsu.html
[pocmloc, Jan 24 2011]
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Annotation:
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I assume the dog would be trained to perform this service quietly (like a doggie ninja) so as not to awaken his master, eh? Then, the justifiably paranoid might some day wake up from his nap, rested and refreshed, only to discover the area strewn with bad-guy bodies. With weapons neatly piled in a corner and covered in dog slobber, Fido would wait faithfully by his master's side for a pat on the head and a dog biscuit. Good Boy!! [+] |
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Unless you want the dog to sleep on your behalf, wouldn't it have to be a waking eye dog? |
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Some dogs (small terriers are typical) sleep with one
eye half open .... always on the alert.
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We do not recommend a Shih Tzu for this role, unless
the function of your canine companion is to keep
you awake by incessant, deafening snoring. |
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<old joke>I took the kids to a zoo at the weekend but the only animal there was one dog. It was a Shih Tzu</old joke> |
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I knew there had to be a way to write off vet bills and dogfood. |
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I also called my local PD and found out that there is no blade
length restriction or permit required for carrying a knife. This
town just got a whole lot more interesting. |
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Looking at your <link>, all you need to do is go in somewhere with your dog and declare "I am [21Quest], and I'm a HalfBaker".
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They'll be immediately convinced that you have some sort of severe cognitive dysfunction.
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Edged weapons are good, but once they exceed about 2.5 metres in length, their utility in combat starts to diminish. |
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"Severe cognitive dysfunction and edged weapons are no match for a good dog at your side, kid."
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<sound of wind>
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@ ..... @ ..... @ ..... @ .....
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<tumbleweeds roll past>
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Let those sleeping beside dogs lie. + |
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I'm totally taking Corona downtown on my next day off and
taking a nap in the mall. |
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[+]
Whilst I totally approve of the idea, I think the home category is incorrect, as this animal would be protecting you in public. Still, I like it...can my dog hold my purse when I'm shopping? |
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I like the idea but the paranoia issue is bugging me. Why would you trust just one dog to look after you? Surely you need another one to keep an eye on the first one? |
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Quis custodiet ipsos canem? |
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