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Sleeping Eye Dog

a new classification for assistance animals, for the justifiably paranoid.
 
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This was inspired by an annotation to my iGuard post by 8th of 7.

This classification would allow me to register my dog as a legally protected assistance animal to bring with me anywhere I go to keep a protective watch over me while I nap in the laundromat or on the bus, or in the break room at work. If lonely people can get such acceptance for comfort companions (and they can), this should be easy. Possibly registered as a subtype of animal-assisted therapy (link), though I think a subtype of seeing eye dog would be more accurate, since the dog performs its service while your eyes are closed.

According to applicable Washington State law (see link for more detail) a "disability" can be any abnormal sensory, mental, or physical condition that is perceived to exist. I've got all 3 covered with a nap. Sensory = recurring blindness, mental = paranoia, and physical = exposure to external threats.

21 Quest, Jan 24 2011

comfort animals http://en.wikipedia...wiki/Comfort_animal
[21 Quest, Jan 24 2011]

I live in a fortunate state http://www.hum.wa.g...QServiceAnimal.html
Fortunately, local laws in my area allow me to bring my dog with me to any place that is considered open to the public, and I cannot be required to show any proof of my dog's service status or of my condition (paranoia?). I do, however, have to claim to have a disability (again, I don't have to prove or demonstrate it) because service animal access laws only apply to disabled persons. This should be easy, as sleeping can be robustly argued as being a form of temporary disability (loss of senses). Thus, my idea is not necessary for me, but I shall leave it up for folks in more restricted locales. [21 Quest, Jan 24 2011]

Narcolepsy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcolepsy
Narcolepsy is a chronic sleep disorder, or dyssomnia,EBI, characterized by excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS) in which a person experiences extreme fatigue and possibly falls asleep at inappropriate times ... [baconbrain, Jan 24 2011]

3.7m sword http://japantrip.tr...achi/norimitsu.html
[pocmloc, Jan 24 2011]

[link]






       I assume the dog would be trained to perform this service quietly (like a doggie ninja) so as not to awaken his master, eh? Then, the justifiably paranoid might some day wake up from his nap, rested and refreshed, only to discover the area strewn with bad-guy bodies. With weapons neatly piled in a corner and covered in dog slobber, Fido would wait faithfully by his master's side for a pat on the head and a dog biscuit. Good Boy!! [+]
Grogster, Jan 24 2011
  

       Unless you want the dog to sleep on your behalf, wouldn't it have to be a waking eye dog?
jutta, Jan 24 2011
  

       Some dogs (small terriers are typical) sleep with one eye half open .... always on the alert.
  

       We do not recommend a Shih Tzu for this role, unless the function of your canine companion is to keep you awake by incessant, deafening snoring.
8th of 7, Jan 24 2011
  

       <old joke>I took the kids to a zoo at the weekend but the only animal there was one dog. It was a Shih Tzu</old joke>
hippo, Jan 24 2011
  

       I knew there had to be a way to write off vet bills and dogfood.   

       I also called my local PD and found out that there is no blade length restriction or permit required for carrying a knife. This town just got a whole lot more interesting.
21 Quest, Jan 24 2011
  

       Looking at your <link>, all you need to do is go in somewhere with your dog and declare "I am [21Quest], and I'm a HalfBaker".
  

       They'll be immediately convinced that you have some sort of severe cognitive dysfunction.
  

       Edged weapons are good, but once they exceed about 2.5 metres in length, their utility in combat starts to diminish.
8th of 7, Jan 24 2011
  

       "Severe cognitive dysfunction and edged weapons are no match for a good dog at your side, kid."
  

       ----------
  

       Ahem.
  

       "Dog-tired."
  

       Thank you.
baconbrain, Jan 24 2011
  

       .
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<sound of wind>
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<tumbleweeds roll past>
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8th of 7, Jan 24 2011
  

       Let those sleeping beside dogs lie. +
xenzag, Jan 24 2011
  

       I'm totally taking Corona downtown on my next day off and taking a nap in the mall.
21 Quest, Jan 25 2011
  

       [+]
Whilst I totally approve of the idea, I think the home category is incorrect, as this animal would be protecting you in public. Still, I like it...can my dog hold my purse when I'm shopping?
xandram, Jan 25 2011
  

       I like the idea but the paranoia issue is bugging me. Why would you trust just one dog to look after you? Surely you need another one to keep an eye on the first one?
DrBob, Jan 25 2011
  

       Quis custodiet ipsos canem?
baconbrain, Jan 25 2011
  

       Why the bones?
21 Quest, Jan 25 2011
  

       For the dog.
baconbrain, Jan 25 2011
  

       *rimshot*
21 Quest, Jan 25 2011
  
      
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