Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Penile Comparison Website
  (+3, -2)
(+3, -2)
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So You Wanna Know?

The website is gonna make a lot of you cringe...

A download would be available for members to print out a ruler. It would serve as a means of standardizing the measurement scale to be used by all members. Men would measure their penises, and post photos of their member alongside the printable ruler. It would finally settle the score in the minds of thousands of men everywhere in answering the age-old-question of "Am I large or small?" The purpose of the site would be simple validation. Finally, a way to know how you stand in the crowd.

As inappropriate as a website full of male penises sounds, I think it would encourage a bit more of an open-mind in one specific way. Men, no matter how homophobic they may be, will always wonder how they measure up. A website of penis may hit some as homosexual, but it would serve the purpose of both homo and hetero members. It would serve to reinforce the idea that the male body, or bodies in general of both sexes, and not to be treated as something vulgar. Nudity shouldn't be as delicately taboo as it is. Homophobia is something I am not very merciful towards either.

aburntoutgenius, May 16 2010

(?) [Flying Toaster], I found your post! http://www.retrolan...rfiles/inchworm.jpg
The wide angle close-up was a good idea. [MikeD, May 16 2010]

http://www.thevisualiser.net/ Something sort of like this. [jutta, Jun 18 2011]


       I think that the posting of penis photographs is unnecessary. Offer a ruler for printout if you like, but all you need to do is post a proven average.
DrWorm, May 16 2010

       Or you could just ask a hooker. This has two advantages:   

       1. She has vast penisory experience from which to make a comparitive judgement.   

       2. Psychological studies have shown people to be kinder after recieving sums of money.
MikeD, May 16 2010

       //A website of penis// [marked-for-tagline]
DrWorm, May 16 2010

       266,000 Google hits for the phrase "post your penis"... just sayin'
FlyingToaster, May 16 2010

       That doesn't excuse posting it, [FT].
MikeD, May 16 2010

       Just curious but, wouldn't a hooker lie?   

       If she expects to get paid, she damn well better.
MikeD, May 16 2010

       What guarantees that the ruler printout is to scale?
jutta, May 16 2010

       "Post a proven average" would lead to way too much lying, and the point would be honest validation. I think the photo would HAVE to be alongside the ruler, and jutta makes a good point... How would I guarantee the ruler is printed to scale? I would want to figure out a way to ensure rulers would not be shrunk... Maybe a "stamp of certification" such as an image which would be distorted somehow if the scale was altered?
aburntoutgenius, May 16 2010

       I think this is baked by ChatRoulette, I wouldn't know, I just care enough to find out. As for measurement, I'd suggest a dollar bill, an iPhone or some other not easily duplicatable object of known size.
MisterQED, May 16 2010

       // not easily duplicatable object of known size //   

       A Ferarri ?
8th of 7, May 16 2010

       Heh, that reminds me of a funny bumper sticker I saw the other day that read;   

       Nice truck!
sorry about your penis.

       It's a Mountain Dew conspiracy, we invented Menthol Cigarrettes and they invented Mountain Dew (caffiene and yellow 5 supposedly both stunt your growth) to get back at us, haha. If you get this joke and take offense to it then you need to lighten up.
quantum_flux, May 17 2010

       Consider us offended. Where do we send the writ ?
8th of 7, May 17 2010

       No offense please, everybody has the cards they're dealt in life and they should play that hand wisely, no changing hands unless you happen to be a deck stacker like Micheal Jackson, but we all know what happened to him in the end (abducted by illegal aliens whom faked his death and took all his funeral money).
quantum_flux, May 17 2010

       // play that hand wisely, no changing hands //   

       You didn't have many toys as a child, did you ?   

       // abducted by illegal aliens whom faked his death and took all his funeral money //   

       So YOU think ... ha hah ...
8th of 7, May 17 2010

       Is my joking offending everybody yet?
quantum_flux, May 17 2010

       // is my joking offending everybody yet? //   

       No, but you've made a promising start. Keep at it.
8th of 7, May 17 2010


       No, really, I don't.   

       ...and there are some surprisingly good reasons why public nudity is taboo. Some of them can be found, appropriately enough, in Desmond Morris' book "The Naked Ape", but not all of them.
pertinax, Jun 19 2011

       I think the root of the problem this idea seeks to address is the nearly universal misunderstanding that having a larger than average penis is commensurate with sexual satisfaction. If lesbian couples can get their jollies off, who's to say a "smaller" gentleman couldn't elicit the same effects?   

       It's strange, but there's this subconscious desire amongst men for a giant member. I've never talked about it to anyone who hasn't wished for a larger or wider penis. And yet the lion's share of them, after admitting they want a bigger one, will immediately afterwards say something along the lines of "but I'm not gay" and "but my dick is normal". All respect to women and all the sexuality issues that they have to put up with, but we men have a lot of troubling stuff going on in our heads too.
notmarkflynn, Jun 21 2011

       instead of just a ruler what about some sort of 2d barcodes that won't read when scaled. barcode reading software is finicky and making it smaller would likely lead to it being unreadable. You would also need some standards on what qualifies as the base (such as measured from top only).
tjhenry, Jun 23 2011


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