h a l f b a k e r y
"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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Amidst the variety of half-baked Christmas trees on here, I spider gap in the market.
A strong and slender hollow pole rises from the base. Stacked on the pole are six or so artificial spiders of differing sizes, the largest lowest. With their hairy, tarantula-like legs poking out in all directions,
the overall size and shape is at least roughly like a Christmas tree. Some of the leg hairs are soft and hairy, but others are firm so that you can hang baubles, chocolates and other decorations from them.
Switch on the power to make the spiders' motorised legs wiggle gently so your decorations jingle merrily.
Of course, a Christmas tree isn't a Christmas tree without an angel on the top. Well, this isn't a Christmas tree. On the top of this tree is a fly in a tutu.
The design isn't quite as random as it sounds. Far from it! You can use it to teach your kids about the dangers of consumerism. The spiders with their decorations represent the baubles of consumerism - bright and colourful, tempting but dangerous - and ultimately empty and hollow, as the central pole reminds us. The fly is our soul, easily trapped in the webs of material comfort, but capable of soaring high and free if we so choose.
P.S. If you thought the 'spider' pun was bad, be glad I resisted the temptation to call this a Treerantula.
||At a scary Uncle's house, the children gather around the black writhing spider stack...
"Now children, these are the evil baubles of consumerism, see how they glisten?" <glugs whiskey from bottle>
"See how they dance like happy puppets under the spiders malevolently undulating fingers - See how they DANCE? DO YOU SEE?" <children start to cry>
"Oh children, don't be sad." <through gritted teeth> "I love this time of year." <swigs more whiskey>
"It just makes me think of ARACHNIDS!"<clutches head and falls to his knees>
"I want my Mummy" says one of the children.
<Man swings a trembling, outstretched finger out to point at the spider-stack - before turning to the child, his face inches from hers, his face a contortion of frustrated rage>
"WATCH! THEM! DANCE!"
||wow. no. i hate spiders. really no.
||//Spiders are insects now, huh?// Maybe he likes the fly at the top?
||[zen_tom], you've met my uncle?