Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Tree Be Gone

Table Top Steel Wool Christmas Tree
  (+13, -1)(+13, -1)
(+13, -1)
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We all hate the chore of hauling the used christmas tree out to the burn pile, chipper or hated neighbors back yard.

Well, no more!

Standing at a mere one and a half feet, the new Table Top Steel Wool Christmas Tree is eliminated by simply touching a nine volt battery to the base.

The burnt tree remains are bagged up in a provided fire proof bag and simply tossed in the trash.

The fire proof bag also doubles as that "nice fabric" under the tree that Martha Stewart loves to put her presents on.

Note: Not ideal for homes with children, pyromaniacs or more than one Baker.

Chefboyrbored, Dec 06 2006

The how and why of it. http://www.blinkbit...kifeeds/PP3_battery
Check the Trivia Section. [Chefboyrbored, Dec 06 2006]

[link]






       Wow that was fast, the idea was posted for about 4 secconds and it got auto bonned.
Chefboyrbored, Dec 06 2006
  

       I like it. It could also be named "house be gone."
ldischler, Dec 06 2006
  

       And eyebrows be gone, hair be gone, kitty be gone...   

       Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...   

       uh-oh, there goes my smoke alarm. Gotta run.
Canuck, Dec 06 2006
  

       Aw c'mon its only 1.5 feet tall, hell I get taller flames with whisky when I cook at home and in 12 years of cooking I have yet to start a house on fire.
Chefboyrbored, Dec 06 2006
  

       "And in the news today, a professional chef burned his house down trying to prove to some people he never met on the Internet how hard it was to burn down a house using a 9 volt battery (pedant: cell) and some steel wool. Chefboyrbored was quoted as saying, 'It seemed like a good idea at the time.'
No word at this time at how hard the other 'bakers' are laughing or how many of them will have to go to the hospital to have their sides repaired from the splitting."
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Dec 07 2006
  

       NTSS, your pedant claim is factually incorrect.
<begin science lesson>
A 9 volt, or PP3 battery is indeed a battery of six 1.5-volt cells stacked together to reach the required 9 volts and encased in their unique package. Unless it's a lithium 9 volt, in which case it contains three 3-volt lithium cells.
<end of science lesson>
Canuck, Dec 07 2006
  

       Thank you, Canuck. That was indeed very informative and fun to learn. I cannot wait to go to work where I will proceed to tell everybody my new factoid and be greeted over and over with that blank stare that shouts, "Geek! You are such a GEEK!Please step away from me with your geekness."   

       I love that look.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Dec 07 2006
  

       What's got four legs and goes "Woof!"?   

         

       ... [Chefboyrbored]'s Christmas table.
wagster, Dec 07 2006
  

       I can't stop laughiing! NTSS I think I am going to print this one out and hang it on my fridge. Bun for everybody with a sense of humor who did not take this idea so damn scientificly! +++
Chefboyrbored, Dec 07 2006
  

       [+]. Pretty much entirely for [NTSS]'s annotation.
hidden truths, Dec 07 2006
  

       GEEK - acronym for General Electrical Engineering Knowledge.   

       Yeah, right. I'm sure they had electrical engineers in mind when they applied the term "geeks" to carnival and sideshow performers whose repertoire consisted of swallowing everything and anything from swords and broken glass to live bugs, as well as occasionally biting the head off a live chicken or two.   

       No matter how you spin it, a geek is a geek is a geek, so thanks for that. And yes, I know "that look" as well.   

       Chef, I'm curious. Why do you suggest this idea is not ideal for a home with more than one Baker - the fight over who sets the thing off first?
Canuck, Dec 08 2006
  

       It might be interesting to decorate it with "Mentos" and pour diet pepsi on it when the season is over.
undata, Dec 08 2006
  

       //the fight over who sets the thing off first?//
that's good enough for me.
Zimmy, Dec 08 2006
  

       //Chef, I'm curious. Why do you suggest this idea is not ideal for a home with more than one Baker - the fight over who sets the thing off first?//   

       I figgured there would be no pre-fight at all, it would be a matter of waiting till the other Baker wasn't home, the fight would follow after.
Chefboyrbored, Dec 08 2006
  

       "Hey, roomie, while you were in the bathroom there was an urgent phone call from your mother. She needs you to go to her house and get her cat out of the big maple tree."   

       "Thanks. I should be back in less than half an hour," he says as he puts on his coat and goes out door. He pauses on the porch when he realizes his mother's cat died 2 years ago and she moved into a condo. Just as he turns and puts his hand on the door knob he hears a loud "WOOF!" from inside, then the smoke alarm starts howling.   

       "You bastard!" he cries, flinging the door wide open, "That was MY Tree-Be-Gone!"
Canuck, Dec 08 2006
  
      
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