Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Squirrel Pleasure Drone

  [vote for,

This is a half bird feeder half flying drone.

Squirrel enters to steal a bird seed snack and is then humanely automatically relocated to a far off distant location away from your bird feeder and house. Upon squirrel release the drone feeder returns home.

Because squirrels are so clever the will have a fighting chance as there will be located inside of the bird feeder cage in which they are trapped two small squirrel size levers that are in fact override controls.

These controls would allow an advanced squirrel the opportunity to take control of the aircraft and actively determine its flightpath and speed.

I believe that this system allows for three potential outcomes

A. thieving squirrel is captured and force-ably relocated

B. clever thieving squirrel discovers that he can control the aircraft and meets a tragic ending on a power line or fiery crash.

C. clever thieving squirrel is able to figure out and master the controls of the aircraft thus enabling an evolution of sorts - technology enabled flying squirrels -

How excellent would outcome C be?

vfrackis, Mar 15 2015

The Heechee Saga http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heechee
[normzone, Mar 16 2015]


       The iving squirrel might be excellent enough to learn the i before e thing.
normzone, Mar 15 2015

       In Xanadu, did FrackisKhan   

       A squirrel pleasure drone decree   

       Where Ralph, the squirrel sized lever ran   

       Through outcomes measureless by man   

       To excellent outcome C.
bungston, Mar 15 2015

       How do you get the bird-parts out of the drone rotors?
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 15 2015

       What [bungston] said.
pertinax, Mar 15 2015

       all better
vfrackis, Mar 15 2015

       Please make an armadillo model, too. (Would be okay if that one isn't humane).
cudgel, Mar 16 2015

       I love squirrels and flying squirrels, in particular. We had one fly in from the chimney once, and it was very cool. It wasn't Rocky though.   

       Bullwinkle: "Boy you really don't know what's inside a person till you marry them."   

       Rocky: "Well at least no one was hurt."   

       A direct quote from Rocky J. himself.
blissmiss, Mar 16 2015

       //B. clever thieving squirrel discovers that he can control the aircraft and meets a tragic ending on a power line or fiery crash.//   

       Although tragic, it wouldn't be without its humorous elements.
doctorremulac3, Mar 16 2015

       // on a power line or fiery crash //   

       Can it not be both ?   

       // How do you get the bird-parts out of the drone rotors? //   

       How do you get the squirrel into the drone rotors?   

       [/] for failing to explain how the tree-rat is killed.
8th of 7, Mar 16 2015

       Ok, am I the only one reminded of the scene in Star Wars ROTJ where the ewok commandeers a speeder bike?
21 Quest, Mar 16 2015

       No. <snigger>
8th of 7, Mar 16 2015

       D. Poor squirel kits starve to death because the evil [vfrackis] kidnapped mommy. At some point Secret Squirrel gets involved, and there are lasers and people strapped to tables.
MechE, Mar 16 2015

       What's not to like?
Voice, Mar 16 2015

       There is a science fiction story this brings to mind. Humans discover a bunch of very old alien ships (off Jupiter?) and figure out how get inside and to set them off. People ride and get to claim whatever they find. Some blow up. Some trips are so long people starve. Some people profit gloriously.   

       What is that story?
bungston, Mar 16 2015

       Odd - I just read that book, courtesy of my local library. Was it a Frederik Pohl book?   


       How did we get from there to here ? That is just too weird. I read a lot, but how did [bungston] and [vfrackis] get access to my reading list ?
normzone, Mar 16 2015

       You left your tinfoil hat off, and they read your thoughts (if any) with a CIA Brane Ray.
8th of 7, Mar 16 2015

       I've heard of the Merchants of Venus but never got around to reading it.
21 Quest, Mar 17 2015

       Pffft, Flying squirrels. As if. [+]
AusCan531, Mar 17 2015


       I wonder what other emergent behaviors we could discover & exploit like this? Can we put obsolete devices in sewers, instead of landfills, & thus get the rats addicted to Candy Crush so they lose the will to survive?
sophocles, Mar 17 2015

       I'm not sure I didn't consider that.
vfrackis, Mar 18 2015

       I'm pretty sure you didn't.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 19 2015

       [Sophocles], Hi stranger, make that Bejeweled, and I'd agree.
blissmiss, Mar 19 2015

       I agree Rocky and Bull Winkle were the first.
travbm, Oct 29 2015


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