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Stairwell Fireman Pole

Only certain stairwells need apply
  [vote for,

Observe the two stairwells in the two links. Note that one is "tight" in that there is no significant space between sections of the stairwell, while the other is relatively roomy (some are even more roomy).

When the stairwell is roomy, it could make sense to install a fireman pole in that open space. Maybe even two of them. For anyone who wants a fast way downstairs, of course!

Vernon, Apr 17 2018

Tight stairwell http://idighardware...airwell-768x510.jpg
As mentioned in the main text. [Vernon, Apr 17 2018]

Relatively roomy stairwell https://i.stack.imgur.com/2OV2S.jpg
As mentioned in the main text. [Vernon, Apr 17 2018]

Paternoster https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternoster
Simple and effective [8th of 7, Apr 19 2018]


       When not in use for transferring between floors, the device could be used as a practice area for pole dancers, doubling the value obtained from a single installation.
8th of 7, Apr 17 2018

       Triple or fourple the value by charging admission during dance practice.
Sgt Teacup, Apr 17 2018

       Helical pole for tight stairwells
pocmloc, Apr 17 2018

       // Helical pole //   

       That poses a very interesting question.   

       A helical pole would allow for a lower rate of descent, and therefore a safer transfer from higher levels.   

       How much of a helix can be introduced while retaining the efficacy as a fast method of descent ?   

       The diameter and the pitch need to be carefully chosen for maximum effectiveness. However, the subject is probably worthy of further practical investigation.
8th of 7, Apr 17 2018

       There are no deliberately helical fireman poles, so putting a helical pole in a tight stairwell should probably be posted as a separate Idea. Nice one, though!
Vernon, Apr 17 2018

       Vernon are you telling me that every fireman's pole in the world has exactly zero deviation from absolute straightness?
pocmloc, Apr 17 2018

       I would suspect firemen suffer from Peyronie's at roughly the same rate as the general population.   

       A limit to the number of floors one can slide down might be in order. A minimum of 3 is advised. Maximum? Nah...
RayfordSteele, Apr 17 2018

       // exactly zero deviation from absolute straightness? //   

       All fireman's poles are curved, since the gravitational field of your planet and its major satellite cause spacetime to curve dynamically in a known and well-defined way.   

       For an absolutely straight pole, you would need to transport it to one of those rare regions* in the Universe where - due to coincidental distributions of normal and "dark" matter - there is no incident gravitational field.   

       *Best to book ahead; these places are often crowded with physicists wanting to perform particularly sensetive experiments.
8th of 7, Apr 17 2018

       There should, as [Ian] said, be two poles. They should be connected with pulleys, gearing and ratchets so that enough firemen going down the "down" pole will eventually raise the piano to the observatory up the "up" pole. A flywheel may also be needed.   

       In the meantime, the piano may be played by anyone leaning over the right banister.
pertinax, Apr 17 2018

       [pocmloc], in response to your question I modified my earlier anno.
Vernon, Apr 17 2018

       Would that be the pink one that only the right sort of people can see?
RayfordSteele, Apr 18 2018

       Be one of those people, [Ray].   

       <pushes Absinthe bottle across table/>
8th of 7, Apr 18 2018

       [8th of 7], relevant to your second anno here, sliding down a helical pole would be somewhat equivalent to sliding down the banister of a spiral staircase. The problem here is making such a pole fit in a tight stairwell, especially making it not interfere with folks using the stairs.
Vernon, Apr 18 2018

       Stair users keep to the outside of the spiral. Just change the inner part of the spiral to a smooth, padded ramp.
8th of 7, Apr 18 2018

       I think this is the shortest [Vernon] idea I've ever seen, and that's the second time this week I've had that thought.   

       Now I want to design a combination of a staircase and a man engine.
notexactly, Apr 18 2018

       That's probably a paternoster elevator <link>.
8th of 7, Apr 19 2018

       Are you talking about my suggestion? Because what I'm thinking of is more like the opposite, actually.
notexactly, Apr 19 2018

       There's a pole switch joke in there somewhere...
not_morrison_rm, Apr 19 2018


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