Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
What was the question again?

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Super Expedited delivery

I want some thing NOW, as in TODAY, ASAP
(+1, -1)
  [vote for,

The ability to buy some thing for delivery today, NOW, at expedited delivery.

Click purchase button website, get some bloke in a van turn up and deliver what I ordered a few hours later with my delivery.

chronological, Nov 18 2020

Amazon Prime https://www.amazon....TF8&node=8729023011
[kdf, Nov 18 2020]

Rocket mail https://en.wikipedi..._mail#United_States
"In 1959 the U.S. Navy submarine USS Barbero assisted the Post Office ... [8th of 7, Nov 18 2020]

Extreme Commuting by V-1 Replica Extreme_20Commuting_20by_20V-1_20Replica
An idea whos time has apparently not yet come. [8th of 7, Nov 18 2020]


       WKTE - at least in the United States, from Amazon and several other online merchants. Don't they have that in other more developed countries?
kdf, Nov 18 2020

       "How soon, is now. How much, is - where?"
Well, I think that was the general gist. As long as you're not requesting delivery into an area restricted, which requires permits many, money - more.
lurch, Nov 18 2020

       There are factors called "distance" and "speed limit" that might stop this from working as you want it too. Eg. if the thing you want is more than ~500km away, you won't get it today, no matter how much money you throw at it.
neutrinos_shadow, Nov 18 2020


8th of 7, Nov 18 2020

       Well, letters/paperwork are the easy option; fragile and/or heavy crap you don't need from Amazon etc is another matter...
neutrinos_shadow, Nov 18 2020

       Ah, Sir wishes to purchase the B-52 delivery option ?   

       Also, <link>
8th of 7, Nov 18 2020

       The easiest way to implement this is psychological manipulation of the customer's perceived wants.   

Me: Syrrey, organise delivery of a new conservatory with handmade alligator-skin recliners hand-embroidered with my monogram in purple and green silk and a 99-inch TV and a complete boxed set of Trump's speeches on DVD signed and dedicated to me personally by Trump himself. And I want it delivered NOW, as in TODAY, ASAP. Thank you, Syrrey.
Syrrey: Certainly sir. It will be here in half an hour.
<half an hour (and some psychological manipulation) later>
Syrrey: Sir, the items you wanted have arrived. The cushion is just right, I found it in the cupboard under the stairs, and there are three dog-eared copies of last month's "New Scientist", not just the two that you ordered. Shall I arrange for the extra one to be returned to the recycling box in the hall?
Me: Thank you Syrrey. This new instant ordering service is fantastic isn't it? Please leave maximum stars and a glowing review!
Syrrey: I will do that sir.
pocmloc, Nov 19 2020

       [poc] "... and I'd like immediate delivery".   

       [Obi-Wan voice] "You don't need that implementation"   

       [poc] "I don't need that implementation"   

       [Obi-Wan voice] "That's not the delivery you're looking for"   

       [poc] "That's not the delivery I'm looking for"   

       [Obi-Wan voice] "Two to three business days will be fine"   

       [poc] "Two to three business days will be fine"   

       [Obi-Wan voice] "Moving along ..."   

       [poc] "Moving along ..."
8th of 7, Nov 19 2020

       //WKTE - at least in the United States, from Amazon and several other online merchants//   

       Nope. It's next day at best in most places.
Voice, Nov 19 2020

       Instant gratification [+] although the cost and therefore the price could be hellish. Perhaps implement a maximum possible delivery fee over which you'll get a warning. At the high end the service will bribe politicians to ride along since the police won't stop them (or bribe the police to send it via car with siren), send it via unscheduled, unplanned flight in airplanes flying near mach 1, (and worry about the fines later) bribe factory workers to directly remove completed items from assembly if that's closer, assemble a huge team of regional acquisition experts and local "acquisition" experts and other extreme measures.   

       Not that many will want to pay 200,308 dollars for that forgotten anniversary gift.
Voice, Nov 19 2020

       // send it via unscheduled, unplanned flight in airplanes flying near mach 1 ... directly remove completed items from assembly ... acquisition experts //   

       That's how the military already operate.
8th of 7, Nov 19 2020

       In some cases it will cost less to hire, for example, a local jeweler to drop everything and make a particular piece.
Voice, Nov 19 2020

       How about the complete opposite? ie order it from "NOW but WAIT" then 12 months later receive a message that says: "do you really want this, or has time passing attenuated your need?"
xenzag, Nov 19 2020

       “NOW but WAIT”

       I like the idea but how do you monetize it?
kdf, Nov 19 2020

       I leave those details to the bean counters.
xenzag, Nov 19 2020

       // how do you monetize it? //   

       The service user pays a returnable deposit with order, a proportion of the item's value subject to a minimum. Then when the buy/not buy decision is made, the deposit is either returned, or represents a portion of the purchase price.   

       In the meantime, the service provider can invest the purchaser's funds and gets the interest/stock dividends accrued. If the per-transaction cost of the funds transfer can be kept low, then money can still be made.   

       We know how many beans make five.   

       It's four; 20% of the total automatically becomes the property of our accountant, Mr. Sturton Buchanan.
8th of 7, Nov 19 2020

       Now THAT is scary... I read xenzag’s bean counter remark, and I was going to joke about how many beans make five. Then I see 8th had already done so.   

       Belloq: You and I are very much alike ...   

       Indiana: Now you're getting nasty.
kdf, Nov 19 2020

       It's no good editing your annotations, [kdf], to try and stop us using that "push you out of the light" quote against you ... we see everything you do. Resistance is Futile.
8th of 7, Nov 19 2020

       I was just trying to make a bit punchier. Belloq did tend to ramble on a bit...
kdf, Nov 19 2020

       That's another thing you have in common, then ...
8th of 7, Nov 19 2020

       Yet the most common reason for me to edit is to reduce word count. I don't get paid by the word here (or anywhere else anymore).
kdf, Nov 19 2020

       Better still, you don't get paid by the thought, or you'd starve.
8th of 7, Nov 19 2020

       You have it backwards; thinking is all I *do* get paid for. Overpaid, you will surely say, and I won’t quibble.
kdf, Nov 19 2020


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle