Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
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Super MAGA Hat

More than a baseball cap
(+5, -5)
  [vote for,

The Super MAGA Hat holds a surprise, as you can probably imagine.

Shielded inside with tinfoil, the Super MAGA Hat is distributed to the faithful, for a truly insidious purpose.

Concealed between the layers of tinfoil are a number of very, very small microwave generators, powered by tiny solar PV fibres woven into the hat.

The generators are programmed to focus, on three axes, on the higher centres of the brain, systematically, to slowly turn the contents of the wearer's brain-pan into Cervelle de agneau caramélisée (Caramelised Sheep Brains) while the wearer is blissfully unaware it is happening.

You know it makes sense,

UnaBubba, May 11 2022

Let's collect all their glasses afterwards and put them in a big pile. https://artsandcult...hive/sgFZs6YvxPx3tQ
[doctorremulac3, May 11 2022]

Same with their shoes. https://www.alamy.c...ation-75038844.html
Because, recycle right? [doctorremulac3, May 11 2022]

Thoughts on why we separate into groups. Sociogenic_20Mitosis
Not a super popular theory but I thought the discussion was interesting. [doctorremulac3, May 13 2022]

https://medical.mit...017/08/get-cracking [a1, May 13 2022]

https://radiopaedia...ernal-body-segments [a1, May 13 2022]

Top left of Foxnews https://thekidsguid...motioncode=X50DB22A
Free him? Why? [4and20, May 15 2022]

This exact identical idea only cheaper. TAKE THAT MAGA WOMAN! https://rarehistori...killing-units-1942/
Scrambles their brains for pennies an execution rather than using all that fancy technology. [doctorremulac3, May 15 2022]

Russell’s Paradox https://plato.stanf...es/russell-paradox/
The set of all sets that are not members of themselves is the only set that does not contain itself, except when it does. [Voice, May 15 2022]

You mean like this? https://www.youtube...watch?v=kQYW_ITznX4
Shoot [4and20, May 17 2022]


       You devious son of a bitch, I'm in. [+]
21 Quest, May 11 2022

       I swear these things already exist, and Ruth Ginsburg was killed because she was CEO of the company manufacturing them.
UnaBubba, May 11 2022

       //MAGA... brains...//
I sense a problem here. The two may be mutually exclusive.
neutrinos_shadow, May 11 2022

       Even a cockroach has a a brain... after a fashion.
21 Quest, May 11 2022

       An airing of grievances[-] Although I would have bunned it if if were for MY grievances. [+] Nah, probably I wouldn't. [-] "Hah hah, x political party should all just commit suicide" just isn't up to the standards I have for an idea.
Voice, May 11 2022

       The soylents of the lambs.   

       Not particularly a grievance, [Voice]. More like a post hoc explanation.
UnaBubba, May 11 2022

       2 fries, that physically wounded me.
21 Quest, May 11 2022

       I was going for an Irish accent.   

       //Orange man bad//
Voice, May 11 2022

       No, [Voice], more like //contents of head inside red hat gradually barbecued by stupidity//.
UnaBubba, May 11 2022

       Let's suppose that, in any given population, there's some sort of bell- curve distribution of intelligence, and it's likely to be correlated to some extent with economic status, educational qualification, social connectedness and other predictors of quality of life.   

       Let's suppose we're worried that the lower half of the bell curve is vulnerable to manipulation by sinister demagogues, based on imagined grievances.   

       How much being- a- dick- to- the- lower- half- of- the- distribution would it take before that, in itself, became a non- imaginary grievance?
pertinax, May 11 2022

       I doubt the lower half of the distribution blames the politicians for random dickishness, why?   

       edit: Oh, you mean dickishness done by the politicians? I suspect the less intelligent are also the most easily manipulated such that they can't effectively blame their troubles on the most likely causes (their own lack of ability) or on secondary and tertiary contributing factors like laws and the politicians who pass them. But again, why?
Voice, May 11 2022

       So the idea is to murder MAGA supporters? Do you murder their children as well?
doctorremulac3, May 11 2022

       No, we give them healthcare and an excellent education so hopefully they grow up smarter than their parents.
21 Quest, May 11 2022

       After murdering their parents. Okay.   

       Well, the idea certainly isn't without precedent. (links)
doctorremulac3, May 11 2022

       So what I hear you saying is that you'll give my kids extra educational and financial support and all I have to do is wear this red hat with some suspicious coils on it? On a more serious note a lot of disadvantaged people actually would die to give their children a better start in life.
Voice, May 11 2022

       We gave up talking about Drumpf for lent I thought. I guess lent season is over.
RayfordSteele, May 11 2022

       Sigh. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted. Back to Hatebakery mode I guess.
doctorremulac3, May 11 2022

Voice, May 11 2022

       In purely solar terms, the hat does protect you from enlightenment, but does increase the number of unthinking red necks.
4and20, May 13 2022

       The frigin hat is just another introduced wedge to be driven with the sole purpose of segregation.   


       Then conquer.   

       The formula has never changed... why do we still submit to it?   

       Talking monkeys... ugh.
Will we ever grow up?

       You frequently seek to divide yourself off from the rest of humanity as a feature of your personality and unique character. No one is pushing you to do that besides you.
RayfordSteele, May 13 2022

       Maybe there's a reason people to separate into groups. At some point a process that repeats constantly over millions of years has to be termed "natural". As to whether that's good or bad, nature has no such construct.   

       Posted an idea about that a while ago. (link)
doctorremulac3, May 13 2022

       //You frequently seek to divide yourself off from the rest of humanity as a feature of your personality and unique character. No one is pushing you to do that besides you.//   

       I just "am" different [Ray], and I always have been. No pushes were needed. Physically, mentally, and perceptually, I'm different. It's not something I like or dislike. I do not strive to separate myself, but I do feel quite alien at times.
I'll just say that if there are others out there like me I haven't met them yet.

       I'll give you just one example, and then you tell me:
At 53 years of age my sternum has still not fused and I can crack it the way others can crack their knuckles.

       Ever heard of such a thing before? Because the doctors I've asked haven't, and that's just one quirk.
Listing all the differences I've come across would take days.

       I'm not different.
tatterdemalion, May 13 2022

       Everybody's unique.   

       Except me.
doctorremulac3, May 13 2022


       No, I'm Separaticus!   

       I could see Monty Python doing a sketch of that famous scene.   

       "I'M SPARTICUS!"   

       "I'M SPARTICUS!"   

       Then one guy stands up, points to the real Sparticus and yells "I'M NOT SPARTICUS! THAT'S HIM! THAT'S THE REAL SPARTICUS!".   

       And the rest of the guys stop, look at the rat and sit down and say "Yea, actually that is the real Sparticus, just kidding." quietly nodding and mumbling in agreement.
doctorremulac3, May 13 2022

       It is a Python joke. From Life of Brian - "You are all individuals, you are all different!" A voice from the crowd says "I'm not."
tatterdemalion, May 13 2022

       That's a joke about Sparticus?
doctorremulac3, May 14 2022

       I was referring to my joke above, obviously.
tatterdemalion, May 14 2022

       //It is a Python joke. From Life of Brian// I think you meant to refer to MY joke above. "Everybody's unique. Except me."   


       To which I'd reply: "So?"
doctorremulac3, May 14 2022

       So maybe many people are just different and seek both separation and identity while also seeking compsnionship with similar types. It's that whole semi-social animal instinct going on.   

       Yes, we know. You remind us every fifth post of how unique you are.
RayfordSteele, May 14 2022

       By saying "Everybody's unique except me."?   

       Guess no jokes are allowed on this post. I didn't get the memo.
doctorremulac3, May 14 2022

       I think he's talking to me [doc].
You only remind us how unique you are every seventh post.

       Oh good. For a minute I though people were being nasty on the Halfbakery. What was I thinking?   

       Anyway, to get back to the subject, I think we're wired to form into groups and compete for resources, be they tasty swamp lizards to bring back to the cave for dinner or global geopolitical dominance. It's been going on forever but I think every generation assumes their situation in unique. The circumstances might change, but the biological drives behind conflict are probably the same.   

       In my opinion anyway.
doctorremulac3, May 14 2022

       // I think you meant to refer to MY joke   

       No. Please move on.
tatterdemalion, May 14 2022

       I would claim to be the same, but you all know I'm way better than you.
Voice, May 14 2022

       When you said "I'm way better than you." did you mean to say I'm way better than you?   

       I'd disagree, we're reasonably similar in value.
doctorremulac3, May 14 2022

       Nope, I'm tippy top ^_^. You do realize I'm joking right? that even if I thought I was better even I wouldn't be so socially inept as to proclaim it in all seriousness? sheesh.
Voice, May 14 2022

       Yes V, I got the joke. Very good.   

       Mine was a joke as well. I took your joke statement and flipped the meaning by removing the quotes (as a joke).   

       I'm thinking none of us should quit our day jobs to become comedians. I think I've struck out about 3 times on this post alone.   

       Our hearts are in the right place though. I think we're all trying to lighten up this... well... not super unifying and friendly idea post.
doctorremulac3, May 14 2022

       "I'm not!"
RayfordSteele, May 14 2022

       Naa, me neither.
doctorremulac3, May 15 2022

       Regarding the "Free Trump Guide": First, take the gold out of his toilet and give it to lawyers poorer than Rudy...
4and20, May 15 2022

       So Donald Trump is the center of the universe? What's with this bizarre obsession?   

       Guess the Trump-centric Hatebakery is back. Oh well, sure was nice to get a break there for a while.
doctorremulac3, May 15 2022

       Whoa, I just realized, the cult of Trump-hate is for me! I've seen the light! I'll write some protest chants for our rallies.   

       "Piles of glasses! Piles of shoes! MAGA voters get what's due!"   

       "MAGA voters hear us shout! Fill the boxcars ship them out!"   

       "MAGA swine there's no ablution! There's just one final solution!"   

       "MAGA crowds like witches covens, put them all into the ovens!"   

       Wow! Obsessive hate really does give your life meaning! What a fool I've been!   

       See link for this exact identical idea but done much cheaper. Scramble their brains the exact same way as suggested by this idea but for pennies an execution instead of using all that high tech.   

       Remember, it's not genocide if really clever people like us are doing it.
doctorremulac3, May 15 2022

       //Donald Trump is the center of the universe?//   

       I disagree   

       A thing cannot be the centre of another thing if the two things are the same thing.
pocmloc, May 15 2022

       But... the... thing... center...   

       you mean Donald Trump IS the universe?   

       Can I make a black hole joke? Get it? That would be some kind of butthole reference. Yes? Funny? No?   

       Who let those crickets in here?
doctorremulac3, May 15 2022

       Should be an orange hole?
pocmloc, May 15 2022

       Because Trump is orange! God that never gets old.   

       Riddle: What's orange?   

       Answer: DONALD TRUMP!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHokay.   

       Voice, regarding your link: "Russell’s paradox is the most famous of the logical or set-theoretical paradoxes. Also known as the Russell-Zermelo paradox, the paradox arises within naïve set theory by considering the set of all sets that are not members of themselves."   

       Although very interesting, it fails to mention how orange Trump is. Any theory that doesn't end with the conclusion that Trump is orange is invalid. Let me demonstrate:   

       "In condensed matter physics, a Bose–Einstein condensate (BEC) is a state of matter that is typically formed when a gas of bosons at very low densities is cooled to temperatures very close to absolute zero;273.15 °C or;459.67 °F). Under such conditions, a large fraction of bosons occupy the lowest quantum state, at which point microscopic quantum mechanical phenomena, particularly wavefunction interference, become apparent macroscopically."   

       See the flaw in that theory? No mention of how orange Trump is, therefore invalid. Without the central universe being referenced (Trump) as a starting point for all theories, the theory is invalidated.   

       We just need to follow the science. I call it the OMB unification theory, all scientific studies need to come to one conclusion: "Orange man bad.". This simplifies science, physics, particle mechanics, the incredibly complicated world simplified with one unifying theory of everything.   

       I'll take my Nobel prize payoff in a lifetime supply of bottled fizzy waters please. Glass bottles only. Cans are acceptable. Unflavored obviously.   

       (But seriously Voice, thank you for putting up something on this post that's actually interesting.)
doctorremulac3, May 15 2022

       //a gas of bosons at very low densities// sounds like some kind of political insult
pocmloc, May 15 2022

       I like that. Now THAT'S an argument knock out punch.   

       "You sir are like a gas of bosons at very low densities, identical to such in level comprehension of what I just said!".   

       My comeback would be "Huh?".
doctorremulac3, May 15 2022

       // identical to such in level comprehension of what I just said!".//   

       That would mean, "we are on the same wavelength. You understood me perfectly"
Voice, May 15 2022

       Well, no, we're talking about a non sentient group of particles here. It doesn't understand anything.   

       But hey, I am so down with discussing this instead of the the discussion of incident light hitting the epidermis of some public figure and bouncing off and commenting on the various wavelengths of the light reflected while other wavelengths are absorbed and the perceived hue, saturation and luminance by the rods and cones of the retina.
doctorremulac3, May 15 2022

       //I am so down with discussing this instead//   

       Really? Because you keep bringing up the other thing
Voice, May 15 2022

       But it's so comforting!   

       Mmmmm. Trump. So orange, so hateable. All of life's trials and tribulations fade away when I hate on thee.   

       Okay, has this dead horse been beaten enough for one day? Yea, I think we're good.
doctorremulac3, May 15 2022

       You do realize that all of this Trump talk is just a crass distraction for everyone else pining away in desperate hope of learning even more about just how truly unique I really am.
I for one find it very rude and I weep for their loss.
But enough about me, let's talk about me, what do you think of me?

       Wait... you're not me, did you mean let's talk about me?   

       My uniqueness is in how I never talk about how unique I am, possibly the only person in the world who never brags about how unique he is the way that I don't.   

       I think my other greatest attribute is how humble I am, probably the most humble person on Earth. The humility of others is absolutely horrible compared to mine, frankly I'm embarrassed for them. My humility makes all the humans in history look disgraceful by comparison. Frankly I think I should be made an honorary god because I'm so humble.
doctorremulac3, May 15 2022

Voice, May 15 2022

       Yes, you are in fact me, I'm glad you talked about me and our extreme modesty may be exceeded only by the enormous bravery and restraint displayed in not only admitting to a deity-level of humility, but also by not smiting ourself for forcing the admission from me.   

       I forgive ourself but that doesn't make it any easier on we.   

       My mind’s been blown…or… our mind’s been blown.   

       I always had a suspicion I was someone else. No one person could hold so much godlike humility.
doctorremulac3, May 15 2022


       Hence the reason for the Trinity. It takes three to hold all that awesomeness.
RayfordSteele, May 16 2022

       Together we are strong!   

       But... if we're one... we're not a trinity...   

       Will this be on the test?
doctorremulac3, May 16 2022

       //It takes three to hold all that awesomeness//   

       Well one of me is just pure will and doesn't need to be corporeal of course.
Then there's groups of of me and then there's just consciousness itself and then it gets really messy after that.
Y'know... that old chestnut.

       Oh the humility!   

       [DrR] I have discovered your secret, you are Trump.
pocmloc, May 16 2022

       Despite not being orange?   

       Maybe he just eats them.
whatrock, May 16 2022

       The next person to say the O word will receive a swift kick to the genitals.
Voice, May 16 2022

       If they have any.
doctorremulac3, May 16 2022

       [Link] Orange He Nothing should be in prison, where assholes get the attention he craves. Any doctor knows that you don't need genitals if you're taking it in the ass.
4and20, May 17 2022

       I’ll take your word for it.
doctorremulac3, May 17 2022

       "wearer is blissfully unaware it is happening."   

       OMG, Please don't drag me into this.
blissmiss, May 17 2022


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