Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Supermarket Pirates

Yarr.
  (+121, -18)(+121, -18)(+121, -18)
(+121, -18)
  [vote for,
against]

While your faithful assistant pushes your trolley, you ride, in full pirate captain regalia, in the bows. On sighting a laden merchant ship / somebody else's trolley, unfurl the Jolly Roger, come alongside, board ship and plunder. Should trouble be sighted on the horizon in the form of the King's Navy, or even store security, flee to the Checkout Havens. If cornered, defend to the last man with tins of beans and packets of biscuits.
david_scothern, Dec 17 2004

Piratical Placeholders Piratical_20Placeholders
If you're going do one, you should probably learn the other... [shapu, Dec 18 2004]

Crosswalk Pirates Crosswalk_20Pirates
Pirates Unite! [AfroAssault, Dec 20 2004]

Victimless Piracy Victimless_20Piracy
O' course, if ye really be needin' to let the sails out.... [DocBrown, Dec 21 2004]

(?) A pirate's cove...... http://www.piratesc...ina.com/nearby.html
.......with a grocery store [normzone, Dec 23 2004]

(?) Playmobil Pirates http://www.playmobi...oductSKU=3127&PLS=0
[hippo, Dec 23 2004]

(?) Playmobil Supermarket http://www.playmobi...GB_storefront&PLS=0
[hippo, Dec 23 2004]

Have ye been attatcked by ninjas? http://www.viciousc....com/Adz/Ad003.html
Get ye the booty ye deserves! [jaksplat, Feb 19 2005]

[link]






       .Hell
. .Yes.
. . .[+]
contracts, Dec 17 2004
  

       Heh! [+]
skinflaps, Dec 17 2004
  

       Sign me up, I'm willing to ship out anytime. Will there be cannons?
Noexit, Dec 17 2004
  

       "Yar! I'll string ye up to me minivan unless ye hands over those beans! I've been a bit solid in the back, and I need somethin' to shiver me timbers!"
shapu, Dec 17 2004
  

       Arrr, narrrr. Yaaarrgh.
david_scothern, Dec 17 2004
  

       Think Dave's been hitting the Captain Morgan a little hard?
(+) Anyway.
nick_n_uit, Dec 17 2004
  

       and aye, bizzan!
reensure, Dec 17 2004
  

       Shaken champagne bottles may work.
Worldgineer, Dec 17 2004
  

       Hurrah me Hearties!!! A trolley full of Spanish produce adrift on a trolley with wonky wheels! We'll be feedin' 'em to the floor polishers in no time!!
wagster, Dec 17 2004
  

       *brandishing a can of Pringles* Stay away from me cart, ya good-fer-nuthin' scurvy dogs! [+]
Machiavelli, Dec 17 2004
  

       By my beard*, Machiavelli! Have ye not feasted yer eyes on the "Piratical Placeholders" idea I've just lashed to the mizzenmast?   

       *note: shapu is cleanshaven.
shapu, Dec 18 2004
  

       Yar! I've got a steering wheel in me pants, and it driving me nuts! RRRRRRRR
Aegir, Dec 18 2004
  

       "Sorry sir, no shoes, no shirt, no service. And your finch will have to stay out side"   

       "Blast it you landlubber scalawag, I don't wear a shoe, this here's a wooden leg. Lost it during the Thanksgiving turkey raids of '74, I did. And I should make you walk the checkout belt fer callin' me parrot a finch."
RayfordSteele, Dec 18 2004
  

       excuse me David, but how the hell have you changed the for / against vote to aye / narr. curses, somethings afoot...
po, Dec 18 2004
  

       Swab ye decks on aisle 7-
thumbwax, Dec 18 2004
  

       "pieces of 8 items or fewer" (+).
neilp, Dec 19 2004
  

       Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum [Liquor Aisle 12]
Drink and the devil be done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
  

       The mate was fixed by the bos’n’s pike [Housewares Aisle 15]
The bos’n’ brained with a markin spike [Seafood Aisle 14]and
Cookey’s throat was marked belike It
Had been gripped by fingers ten and
There they lay all good dead men like
Break o’ day in a boozing ken [Liquor Aisle 12]
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum
  

       Fifteen men of a whole ship’s list
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum
Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist!
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
  

       The skipper lay with his nob in gore where the
Scullion’s axe his cheek had shore
And the scullion he was stabbed [Kitchen Aisle 9]times four and
There he lay and the soggy skies
Dripped all day in up-staring eyes at
Murk sunset and at foul sur-prise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
  

       Fifteen men of ‘em stiff and stark
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Ten of the crew had the murder mark
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
  

       ‘Twas a cutlass swipe or and ounce of lead [Hardware Aisle 2]or a
Yawning hole in a battered head
and the scuppers glut with a yawning red [Wine Aisle 8] and
There they lay aye damn my eyes
All lookouts clapped on par - a - dise all
Souls bound just con – tra – ri - wise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
  

       Fifteen men of ‘em good and true
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Every man Jack could ha’ sailed with old Pew
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
  

       There was chest on chest of Spanish gold with a
Ton of plate in the middle hold
And the cabins riot with stuff un told as
They lay there that had took the plum
With a sightless glare and their lips struck dumb
While we shared all by the rule of thumb
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
  

       Fifteen men of a dead man’s chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
  

       We wrapped ‘em all in a mains’l tight with
Twice ten turns of a hausers bight
And we heaved ‘em over and out of sight with a
Yo heave ho and fare you well
And a sullen plunge in a sullen swell
Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
  

       With apologies to Robert Lewis Stevenson 1881 and more lyrics added by Young Ewing Allison 1891 and Jutta.....
normzone, Dec 19 2004
  

       Lol, funny idea. [+], even thought I'm not voting.   

       Normzone, I am to lazy to read that whole song lol.
EvilPickels, Dec 19 2004
  

       That's alright [EvilPickels], the guy who wrote it a hundred years ago would probably not be offended.
normzone, Dec 19 2004
  

       aye, it is [Unabubba] I laughed out loud. It seems anything with pirates in attracts the aye, arr and narr.
neilp, Dec 19 2004
  

       Hey, [thumbwax] is back! So the pirates dragged yer scurvy hyde out of hiding...   

       "Murk sunset and at foul sur-prise" (chicken surprise prepared fresh at our deli)
dentworth, Dec 19 2004
  

       I thought this was going to be some kind of exercise class held in supermarkets. For Japanese people. Sorry.
hippo, Dec 19 2004
  

       A captain never rides in the bow: too wet. The captain will stay somewhere on the aft upper decks, getting seasick. So that toddler seat in the trolly is there for a reason: its the captain (hind-) quarters ;-)
nietsch, Dec 19 2004
  

       Hey, how long has that tiny croissant icon been beside my address bar? (go to main page)
RayfordSteele, Dec 19 2004
  

       hippo, you are bad!
po, Dec 19 2004
  

       "Excuse me, could you show me where you keep the dental floss?"   

       "So, it be dental floss you be looking for ey? Yarr! Startin' astern the deli counter, it be 20 paces east past baking goods, 15 paces due south an' 5 paces west. If ye navigate between dental and feminine hygene, there shall ye find what ye seeks. Arrghhh!!"
zen_tom, Dec 19 2004
  

       Aargh, I be marooned in the frozen food aisle. Shiver me timbers.
david_scothern, Dec 19 2004
  

       Lily Tomlin did a similar thing in a comedy sketch on SNL back in the early 80's. She'd approach folks and take something out of their cart. Since nothing was paid for yet, there was no theft, but still, it made people's heads explode.   

       But, just one more pirate-echo-idea and I may put these in with "custard" & "ninja". Maybe we need an "Echo" top category, where we can put all these for folks who enjoy them.
sophocles, Dec 20 2004
  

       Or rename the Halfbakery to "Pirates, Custard and Blowing Things Up".
Belfry, Dec 20 2004
  

       Damn you, [hippo]. Now I can't help but read the idea's title as "supermarket pie-rot-ees".
Worldgineer, Dec 20 2004
  

       DS - I'll give you a bun if you tell me how you got the 'Aye' & 'Narr' on your bun count.
energy guy, Dec 20 2004
  

       every second vote negates the first - jutta, stop messing with my head!   

       you're right of course, Ray. no marks for my observation skills.
po, Dec 20 2004
  

       Aye = +, arr = 0, methinks.
RayfordSteele, Dec 21 2004
  

       <spots an overweight woman>Thar' she blows!(/spots an overweight woman>
DesertFox, Dec 21 2004
  

       Note to all whom I offended with my un-piratical lingo: I've considered your reprimands and have corrected my anno above. Hope you finally sleep well tonight. ;-D
Machiavelli, Dec 21 2004
  

       Energy guy - they just, well, appeared. (notes link from AfroAssault) Arr, contact from the Piratous Fiend himself!
david_scothern, Dec 21 2004
  

       Damn your eyes [sophocles] pirate ideas be great and I'll cleave to the brisket any man jack o' ye who says otherwise. Now excuse me, I have a trolley galleon to sail...
DocBrown, Dec 21 2004
  

       Props: Frozen chicken parrot, continental cucumber pistols in the belt, garbage bag pantaloons and a rhubarb cutlass! Board and grapple the checkout wenches and carry them off!! Arrrrrrrr, me hearties!
ConsulFlaminicus, Dec 21 2004
  

       But this wouldn't really be piracy at all. Piracy is an 'act of robbery at sea' and, carelessly brushing aside the whole moisture requirement for the purposes of annoying pedantry, 'robbery' is 'the act or instance of unlawfully taking the property of another by the use of violence or intimidation'.

If you take the goods from someone's trolley before they reach the checkout then they haven't paid for them, so the goods are not theirs, so you're not really a pirate. So where's the fun in that? Lurk outside in an 'Animal House' style pirate float and rob 'em as they come out the door I say!
DrBob, Dec 21 2004
  

       [Tabs] me old salt, that's probably the worst jewellery/pirates/shopping related joke I've ever heard.
wagster, Dec 21 2004
  

       Well I'm glad you asked that question, Tabs.

That would be 'the unauthorized use or reproduction of copyrighted or patented material' which would not be relevant in the current context. Although, if you really wanted to start an argument, you could claim that shopping trolleys are patented and that the unauthorised use and modification of one in order to nick someone's shopping could qualify as piracy in that way.

(All definitions used courtesy of dictionary.com)
DrBob, Dec 21 2004
  

       Yarrgh, by my beard put no stock in dictionaries, [DrBob]! Good fer nought but ballast and toilet paper out on the deep blue sea. 'Tis a nefarious appropriation of the word in any case - an act of piracy committed against the very term itself, if that takes yer fancy. [hobbles off muttering].
DocBrown, Dec 21 2004
  

       thanks Ray. arr vote amended to aye.
po, Dec 21 2004
  

       In that case, DrBob:   

       Piratous character, to bemused shopper whose trolley said character is emptying: "Yarr, despite appearances, ye lubber, I be not a pirate. 'Cept, come to think of it, when I illegally copy CDs. Arr."   

       I'd not be too convinced... but then, who'd believe anything a pirate told them? Apart from the obvious such as "Ye be going to die!" and similar.
david_scothern, Dec 21 2004
  

       Arr, this be a good idea, that it be. I 'specially look forward to the counter-measures store security will take when it becomes wide-spread. "Shoplifters will be prosecuted" signs will disappear from our supermarkets, to be replaced with signs reading "Pirates will be hanged", attached to a gibbet containing the rotting corpse of a late lamented buccaneer.
'And sea-roving corsairs, wherever they be,
Will all raise a glass, and toast three-time-three,
To the swaggering, free-booting, bold memory,
Of poor dead 'Scurcy' Scothern, hanged in Sainsbury'
spacemoggy, Dec 21 2004
  

       "Ye be lookin' to know 'bout the burried treasure. Listen closely young land lubber ye be a wantin' aisle 6 where Eggs mark the spot"   

       Care of the voodoo cursed login of PainOCommonSense or Guybrush Threepwood as they call me.
wagster, Dec 21 2004
  

       If Cyclops were ever pirates, they'd run into the shelves, as the patch would be over their only eye. "Arrr matey! Why don't ye watch where yer goin'!"
Aegir, Dec 22 2004
  

       We could bake this after the next halfcon... anyone?
david_scothern, Dec 22 2004
  

       If you kick the wheels off of their cart, wouldn't that be comparable to splitting a ship's main mast with cannon fire, thus tantamount to a piracious/piratical act?
mensmaximus, Dec 22 2004
  

       Piracious? Aye n'I like the sound of that! Arrr rated - far shore.
reensure, Dec 22 2004
  

       How does a group of pirates come to a decision ?
normzone, Dec 23 2004
  

       I don't know... How does a group of pirates come to a decision ?   

      
([neilp] notes that pirates are almost in the top 10 'best' HB ideas)
neilp, Dec 23 2004
  

       There's no consensus - it's arrrrr-bitrary.
normzone, Dec 23 2004
  

       There's enough evidence here to lay a charge of Conspiracy to Commit Piracy.
mensmaximus, Dec 23 2004
  

       At relatively little cost you could simulate this idea at home, in minature (see links).
hippo, Dec 23 2004
  

       Parrot pooper scooper needed in aisle 4. +
blissmiss, Dec 23 2004
  

       So what do Bostonian Pirates say? 'Awwwh?'   

       Pontius Pilates... hmmm going to have to think on that one. Pontius Pirate? Sounds like an excellent Halloween costume.
RayfordSteele, Dec 31 2004
  

       Read in "The Duck Street Gang", a book about a group of year 8 pupils I found hilarious when I was in year 6. Towards the end of a nativity play:   

       Anthony suddenly materialised centre stage, and declared, "I'm Pontius the Pirate! My ship has just docked in Bethlehem. I am feared all over the known world!"   

       In the front row, Mr Thomas muttered, dryly, "Especially by pirate ship owners... Bethlehem is twenty miles inland."
david_scothern, Dec 31 2004
  

       Oddly enough, I was working with some show technicians yesterday who had just called an entire two-hour show in pirate speak. "Standby VT" = "VT Ahoy!", "Go lighting" = "A broadside of the old lights me hearties" - you get the picture. I'd love to know what the producer made of it all.
wagster, Jan 29 2005
  

       +
rrr, Feb 19 2005
  

       Sounds like another producer found the bakery...   

       Awaiting 'Pirates Pilates' pilot show.
RayfordSteele, Feb 19 2005
  

       Celebrity Pirate Cooking on PBS?
moPuddin, Jul 19 2005
  

       How long do you marinate those pirates?
elhigh, Jul 22 2005
  

       arrr! Thar be the Flying Dutchman trolley!
DesertFox, Jul 22 2005
  

       Garr! Shiver me timbers! Hoist the main sails! Yo Ho! Off to the Spice Isles we go. [Flavourings, Aisle 3]
froglet, Jul 23 2005
  

       "Excuse me sir, do you have a Tesco Clubcard?" "Yarrr, I believe I'm owed cashback on years of fruitful plunders...Now give me triple points or walk the plank"
Mr Phase, Aug 08 2005
  

       An entire aisle of rum.....
normzone, Aug 08 2005
  

       Arrr! Lower ye child seat and prepare to be boarded! Hand over ye frozen dinners or we'll scuttle yer cart!
[+]
Freefall, Aug 09 2005
  

       It's a shame the world isn't more like this.
Mr Buttersworth, Feb 07 2007
  

       Why doesn't this have three buns yet?
Dominov, Feb 07 2007
  

       //Why doesn't this have three buns yet?//
Because the scale goes from -2.5 (fishbones) to +2.5 (croissants). It's a relative measure of the popularity of a post, compared to all other posts; not a display of the absolute measure of votes. Further details are in the help file (on the left up there ^).
neutrinos_shadow, Feb 07 2007
  

       I suggest a spin-off website called halfpiracy.com   

       btw, I've just decided to start translating google into pirate, I encourage you all to join me.   

       customer: could you tell me where the soap is please? spotted oik: Aye wench, mark ye thar plyed bootie scrolls n' set course for yon avastable nipper canvasses.
marklar, Feb 08 2007
  

       [neutrinos_shadow] Oh, I knew that. I just thought that three buns was the most popular idea on the site.
Dominov, Feb 08 2007
  

       Raise the Jolly Bobby and prepare for battle...
fett625, Mar 12 2007
  

       "Excuse me, do you have anything for shivering timbers?"
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 13 2007
  

       [MaxwellBuchanan], why don't ya just go an' 'ave yerself a bottle o' rum, an' see 'ow yer doin' in the mornin'? Meanwhiles, I'm gonna go man the ol' marshmallow watch. See if the scallywags get 'em *this* time... I'll have me some marshmallows, by Davy Jones, if it be the last thing I do! Arr? Swab ye decks on aisle 7, ye say? Swab yer own deck, ye scurvy dogs! 'Twasn't meself what made the mess there, ya see. An'--Look!! On yer feet, ye scurvy dogs! We 'ave us some pirates, we do! They're goin' for the yogurt! Arr, we'll see how far they get wit' that...   

       I don't see a Yarr/Narr vote counter! I see a regular old for/against! And I say for! For, for the supermarket pirates! Yarr! Yarr! Ya-- Oh, umm...hard to explain that one, eh?....erm...Surrender yer ship!! We'll board ye!!
TahuNuva, Nov 21 2007
  

       "The total will be $$.$$, sir."   

       "Does ye accept gold?"   

       "We accept Discover, American Express, and traveller's checks."   

       "So, does ye accept gold or not?"   

       "Umm, I--"   

       "Tell me, ye scurvy dog, afore I shiver yer timbers for ye!"   

       "Sir--"   

       "Arr, ye don't worry yer pretty head about it. I'll just be takin' these things an' be on me way."   

       "..."   

       [snickers] "Ahoy, boys, we set sail again!"
TahuNuva, Nov 21 2007
  
      
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