Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Sweet Revenge Chocolate

Baked especially for porch pirates
(+2, -2)
  [vote for,

Having your Amazon delivery stolen from your porch is a growing problem. Having laxative or pepper-laced snacks to punish lunch bandits at work is a common tactic. I propose to combine the two.

A private baker creates tempting concoctions and packages them in realistic containers with fake company names and addresses. Printed material advertises the mouth-watering foodstuff with "Best Chocolate Ever!", "Betcha Can't Eat Just One!", "Keep 'Em For Yourself!" etc. Your choice of additives are baked in to inconvenience and disturb the thief.

The container would be just small enough to fit in the fridge in case the local pirate misses your porch today; you can put it inside and set it out before leaving for work tomorrow.

whatrock, Nov 16 2021

Etymology of “booby” and “booby trap” https://www.etymonline.com/word/booby
[a1, Nov 22 2021]

Perfectly safe for work https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Booby
[pertinax, Nov 22 2021]


       [-] WKTE, even acknowledged in your description, all you’re suggesting is a variation of packaging.   

       Also, possible reason to [mark-for-deletion], “cruelty - the idea is a new way of torturing or killing a person or an animal for pleasure or revenge” Admittedly a rule more honored in the breach than the observance…
a1, Nov 16 2021

       Firstly I can't find any entity that will bake my choice of ingredients into a food, label it incorrectly and ship it to me.   

       Second, whatever I order and get shipped to my porch is mine. If a thief steals and gets sick from a stolen item that's their fault. The obvious solution to avoiding such nasty culinary surprises is NOT TO STEAL. Making the world safe for thieves is stupid.
whatrock, Nov 16 2021

       Hmm… Attention Mark Rober… add to Glitter Bomb 4.0…
RayfordSteele, Nov 16 2021

       // If a thief steals and gets sick from a stolen item that's their fault //   

       And if the package gets delivered to the wrong address? Or taken not by an evil thief, but by a child who doesn’t know any better? Torn open by the family dog? Opened by mistake by someone in your own household?   

       Booby traps are set BY boobies as much as FOR boobies.
a1, Nov 16 2021

       Empties were starting to pile up here and I was storing them in a section of the mall and didn't have keys for the locks yet.
We have to empty liquids and separate non-refundable crap which sucks and the 14 bags I got ready to take in all took a walk in the middle of the night. So I figured it only right that if they wanted the empties they should also take the liquids those bags contained as well as whatever other garbage I had to remove suspended above their heads in a five gallon bucket with a bag of flour set to upend after the dousing when the door opened far enough to get a full bag of cans out. Then the firecrackers were primed to go off and a motion activated video camera set up to phone me when activated and record the fiasco.

       They never returned before I got the locks changed and I was very disappointed.   

       Someone thinks you're a boobie.
Voice, Nov 22 2021

       Can't see why, neither [2fries] nor myself have such bodily appendages.
whatrock, Nov 22 2021

       But either one of you might be a funny- looking blue- footed seabird. For all we know.
pertinax, Nov 22 2021

       But why would anyone try to trap funny-looking blue- footed seabird with laxatives or pepper-laced snacks?
a1, Nov 22 2021

       Have you ever tried trapping one without laxatives or pepper-laced snacks?
pocmloc, Nov 22 2021

       // Have you ever tried trapping one without laxatives or pepper-laced snacks? //   

       Nope. I have added hot pepper to bird seed though. The birds don’t mind and it keeps squirrels away from the feeders. And from the amount of bird crap around the feeders, I reckon they don't need any laxative.
a1, Nov 22 2021

       //Nope. I have added hot pepper to bird seed though//   

       Your own experiment? Or something you heard about?   

       If the former then kudos! That's completely left-field.   

       // something youheard about? //   

       Can't take credit for it. I read about it on the Internet so it must be true.
a1, Nov 23 2021


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