Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Tanning Bed Confessional

The heat is on. Or off. Your choice.
  [vote for,

This idea popped up on an episode of NPR's game show WAIT WAIT DON'T TELL ME - they were talking about a bus where the driver will hear confessions... and one of the contestants mentioned, "Well, what about a tanning bed? If we're gonna double-task..."

And that struck me as a great half-baked (no pun intended) idea. After all, the tanning bed could serve as a good motivator - a mild reminder of the eternal torments that await the unrepentant. The confessor could adjust the amount of heat as was appropriate to the conversation. Penance could be extracted, or mercy shown, and the penitent emerges with a nice rosy glow - or slightly charred edges.

smendler, Feb 13 2016


       So who exactly are you pouring your guts out to? Isn't that the whole concept behind confessionals? Someone other than God has to hear your sins. Uhmm, I ain't telling no tanning bed attendant my dirtiest, darkest secrets. No way. Unless, of course, there was a camera involved and we could make a realty show out of it. And then I would become rich and famous from it. Wow, do I sound shallow. Hmmm.
blissmiss, Feb 13 2016

       Why stop at a tanning bed? Surely penitents would rather suffer now than in the afterlife. Let's expand it to all forms of self-flagellation. From dripping wax to boiling oil, from candles to branding irons. From needles to iron maidens. From wet noodles to horsewhips.
Voice, Feb 14 2016

       // boiling oil, branding irons, horsewhips, et al //   

       The resulting shrieks, curses and subsequent blaspheming would add to the list of sins; the confession would feed on itself. Vote for Pay Per View +
whatrock, Feb 14 2016

       Beautiful, tight-leather-clad confessors available for a small extra charge.
Voice, Feb 14 2016

       "Whip me, Sister, for I have sinned...."?
smendler, Feb 28 2016


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