Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The use of drones, for the purposes of being excommunicated.

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Go get a drone with reasonable carrying capacity, some fairly good aerial pics of the Vatican roof. one circular bit of wood, some expanding foam spray to seal it in place, and a couple of smoke grenades (black, white, pink etc, preferably ones with wifi connections).

Work out what chimney they use (see pics), and how big it is, use drone at night to go block up the chimney and leave the smoke grenades.

So, 12 seconds after the they close the door to decide who's going to be the next pope, trigger the smoke grenades of your choice <evil laughter>.

not_morrison_rm, Aug 07 2015

zer chimney http://www.igrejaca...-capela-sistina.jpg
[not_morrison_rm, Aug 07 2015]

but which one? http://i.livescienc...apel.jpg?1383108187
[not_morrison_rm, Aug 07 2015]

Dolce https://www.youtube...watch?v=uo84caBoToQ
[pertinax, Aug 20 2015]

[link]






       Just have a world wide internet poll, of all who can be bothered, to initiate the trigger.
wjt, Aug 07 2015
  

       Habemus Panem!
pocmloc, Aug 07 2015
  

       So...you cause the global media to think the conclave reached a decision? Or that the smoke was miraculously turned pink?   

       Since the Vatican has wifi jammers, it might be easier to make a big drone that looks like Jesus and just fly it around.
sninctown, Aug 10 2015
  

       They did that at the beginning of La Dolce Vita. Sort of. Don't you remember?
pertinax, Aug 20 2015
  
      
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