Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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That whale is mine

Either it belongs to me or it explodes, you decide
  (+7, -6)
(+7, -6)
  [vote for,

This idea is inspired by Harpoon Cutters.

Create large whale-like submersibles that can be used for some kind of marine sciency stuff. However, this is not there real porpoise, it is just an excuse to stuff them full of expensive electronics.

When harpooned they become completely useless and water immediately destroys all of the expensive equipment except a GPS, distress beacon and blow-hole camera. You then sue the whaler for compensation.

Alternatively you 'own' a large number of whales by doing actual scientific research and tagging them. You them offer your whales for sale for a ridiculous price, but you never want anyone to buy them, it's just the amount you sue the whaler for whenever they kill one of your pets.

Alternatively the thing just explodes taking out the whaler.

marklar, Nov 20 2007

Send this idea to the Sea Shepherd...they may buy it. http://www.seashepherd.org/
[Klaatu, Nov 20 2007]

Harpoon Clippers Harpoon_20Clippers
[simonj, Nov 20 2007]

Grey Whale http://www.bagheera...n_anim_grywhale.htm
"Many Eskimo, or Inuit, communities in the United States depend on whaling for economic, social, and cultural survival." [vincevincevince, Nov 20 2007]

Grey Whale http://www.bagheera...n_anim_grywhale.htm
"Both Norway and Japan kill whales for scientific purposes, although many observers believe that the true purpose of this continued whaling is commercial use. Whale meat now sells for about $300 per pound ($136 per kg) in Japan, and a recent DNA survey of whale meat for sale in Japan showed that 9 out of 16 samples, more than 50 percent, came from endangered whale species that are internationally protected"" [simonj, Nov 20 2007]

Reverse_20Tazer_20Whale [xenzag, Nov 20 2007]

Hey! That's My Fish! http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/8203
First thing I thought of when I saw the title of this idea. [simonj, Nov 20 2007]

starlets on surfboards http://www.imnotobs...-hayden-panettiere/
save the whales (and the cheerleader) and save the world [k_sra, Nov 21 2007]


       "Alternatively the thing just explodes taking out the whaler."
Thar she blows?
st3f, Nov 20 2007

       This would make insurance for whaling vessels ridiculously expensive as well as annoy large numbers of whalers. I see no benefit to this idea, no problem it solves, just a major disadvantage for a class of maritime farmers [-].
vincevincevince, Nov 20 2007

       [vincevincevince] The idea assumes that the reader is opposed to whaling. It therefore attempts to make whaling uneconomical by //make insurance for whaling vessels ridiculously expensive// and //annoy large numbers of whalers//
marklar, Nov 20 2007

       [vincevincevince] I'm sure you're aware that whale 'farming'is illegal. The Japanese are slaughtering hundreds of whales for scientific research only. They only sell the whale meat to fund more essential research, apparently.
simonj, Nov 20 2007

       //slaughtering hundreds of whales for scientific research only//yeah, right. couldn't they start with fruit flies?
po, Nov 20 2007

       //couldn't they start with fruit flies//
The research is along the lines of "I wonder what whale tastes of", so no, not really.
angel, Nov 20 2007

       but fruitflies are fruity, n'est pas?   

       hi [angel]!
po, Nov 20 2007

       Hi, [po]!
angel, Nov 20 2007

       Mention of "real porpoise" reminds me of a terrible story I heard yesterday. A truck carrying a load of tortoises collided with a truck full of terrapins on the motorway. Police described the scene as a turtle disaster.   

Murdoch, Nov 20 2007

       Oh, and by the way - "maritime farmers "!!!!!!!!! Where you going with that attitude? The nineteenth century?
Murdoch, Nov 20 2007

       The lament of vincevincevince:   

       When the whale farmers were in trouble, I did nothing because I don't farm whales. Then when the kitty farmers were being destroyed, I did nothing because, well, I own a kitty. Then the vincevincevince farmers began to be eliminated, and there was no one left but me to help them, but it was OK, because I don't want them to "farm" me, after all.
globaltourniquet, Nov 20 2007

       the answer to "whale farming" is obviously "starlets on surfboards."
k_sra, Nov 20 2007

       (Hums.) "That whale is mine,
that dog-gone whale is mine..."
jutta, Nov 20 2007

       [Vince], your point about inuit subsistence hunting is irrelevant. The site you link to says that the 5 or 6 whales per year that they propose to harvest for subsistence and cultural purposes will not threaten the whale population.   

       Frankly I think that whaling vessels sited in international or restricted waters should be used as target practice for UN long range bombers.   

       Ultimately, there isn't really a great moral difference between harvesting a whale or a cow, but for a few key points. 1) there are standards about how to humanely execute cows. Whaling is horrifically brutal. 2) cows are farmed, and in no way are their numbers threatened.   

       I think the same about any "harvesting" done from wild populations, including commercial fishing. If the japanese (and whoever else) found a way to operate a whale farm, we'd all have a bugger of a time mustering up the moral ammunition to go after them.   

       It's all a bit morally challenging, really. I want to make a distinction between a "farmed" whale and a "farmed" cow, but I really can't find a useful yardstick. I'm a creature of logic, so I guess this defines my standpoint. I eat cow, and so I approve of farming cows. Humanely. let 'em make a whale farm.
Custardguts, Nov 20 2007

       Whalers are not some kind of evil, they are just maritime farmers. Too much whaling is the entirety of the problem. Whales are now stable and numbers are steadily rising. Although there is no longer this great risk of extinction, we are left with a cultural memory that 'whaling is bad' even though we extol the virtues of, say, buying freshly caught fish. That is to say, there was a problem with too much whaling, that problem has been solved, and so there is no longer a reason to ban sustainable whaling.
vincevincevince, Nov 21 2007

       As far as my limited knowledge of what "farming" means, I thought it involved some kind of care towards the good that is being harvested. I therefore think that it's wrong to consider these whale killers as farmers since they don't feed or procure the whales in any way before killing them ILLEGALLY. So I'm going to have to bun this idea.   

       It would be even nicer if you could manage to fill these fake whales with every nintendo and x-box apparatus of the sort... just so all the girlfriends in the world could recover the attention of their boyfriends. I will surely appreciate it.   

       By the way, hola everyone!
Pericles, Nov 21 2007

       vince,vince,vince, *shakes head*
simonj, Nov 21 2007

       Bienvenida de vuelta, [Pericles].
pertinax, Nov 21 2007

       hola, [pericles].
po, Nov 21 2007

       can it be? all this and not an arrgh there be?
afinehowdoyoudo, Nov 21 2007

       [Rimestock]... see my previous anno. regarding cultural memory. Whales are no longer a declining species and are not heading for extinction.
vincevincevince, Nov 21 2007

       errrm, I think there's more than one species of whale, and some of them *are* in trouble.
pertinax, Nov 21 2007

       "sustainable whaling"? What d'you want to sustain it for? We don't *need* any part of any whale for anything. Any similarly outlandish and naive views on big game poaching/hunting of endangered species/barbarism such as foxhunting and dogfighting?
Murdoch, Nov 21 2007

       Whale numbers are not currently declining, but neither are they anywhere near where they were a century ago. While it may be true that whaling will not cause extinction, it will certainly reduce the population below the natural level.   

       All that aside, the hunting methods are cruel and barbaric. I'm sure if they wanted to, they could find a less tortuous method of killing them.   

       On top of that, the claim that the reason for killing whales is scientific research is a joke. Soon they'll be telling us that the whales are terrorists and have WMDs.
marklar, Nov 21 2007

       "Subsistence whaling" reminds me of my proposed thesis topic--both involve boats. Local boaters insist that they should be able to run their "johnboats" on the rivers now in the Ozark National Scenic Riverways park, because their grandfathers had johnboats on the rivers. I was going to show how their grandfathers made little boats out of wood, and pushed them around with paddles and poles, on a river with no other people on it. These yahoos buy big aluminum boats, fit them with huge outboard motors, and go ripping upstream in a crowded river--but they call their boats "johnboats" and insist they have priority and privilege. Subsistence hunters go out in boats that are as radically different from their grandfather's boats, and hunt in a world that has changed incredibly.   

       Supposedly, Japan didn't used to eat whale. After WWII, the Americans told them to start whaling as a way to get more food with their ships.   

       I kinda like the concept of "whale ranching". Do the Wild West thing of putting your brand on "stray" whales, and hang anybody who rustles them.
baconbrain, Nov 21 2007

       "I kinda like the concept of "whale ranching". "   

       Great, another 200 yrs of Hollywood's westerns genre.
Whaleboys/girls (Whaleboys don't blubber), whale rustlers (most directed by John Fjord), outlaws (Butcher Cetartiodactyla and the Sunburnt kid), baleen fights, etc. Culminating in the release of "Humpback Mountain".
4whom, Nov 21 2007

       (wow, [pericles], hi!)   

       see link for starlet reference, not that anyone cares. "save the cheerleader whose saving the whales; save the world"
k_sra, Nov 21 2007

       //I kinda like the concept of "whale ranching"//
"The deep range", A.C. Clarke.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Nov 21 2007

       Would the girls in the saloon bars have to wear cowbone corsets?
Murdoch, Nov 21 2007

       Murdoch, as sure as you would load one in the breach!
4whom, Nov 21 2007

       Hmmmmm. Not entirely sure what that means, if we're not talking guns. I'm sensing that it's not necessarily a good thing. Care to explain?
Murdoch, Nov 21 2007


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