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Whale for sale

Sell the whale before it's dead.
  [vote for,

Anyone with a whaling license (no new lisences are given out) gets to sell a whale for more profit.

This is how it works:

They first tag the whale with an rfid chip.

Then they shoot paint bombs at it until it is sufficiently recognisable.

They then own the whale and sell to the highest bidder on the world wide whale auction website.

This whale is saved.

The paint: what with us putting a man on the moon and everything, I imagine we can make paint that won't come off. The whale would look ugly from now on.

The sell: People can buy a whale in groups, you can own part of a whale. But rich people can actually own their own whale. This would be a status symbol. Tax deductable. Companies can own whales as a marketing stunt/image builder. People might think differently about microsoft if it owned a thousand whales. Companies might find out a way to put their logo on the whale: use google earth to track all the google whales.

The rfid chip: I just put that in for good measure. It should really be a gps device with hartrate monitor or something like that. I imagine we could get one small enough to be shot in the outer layer of fat. Stings a bit.

Saving the whale: If any whaler should kill a whale that is already tagged and try to sell it, this would now be a crime: theft. The owner would press charges, or greenpeace would press charges in their name or something like that and the whaler is caught by police and the case is handled like any other. Thief loses his license, no new licenses are given out.

Some people still want to eat whale meat: No problem, they can buy a whale and have it for dinner. A legal act. If whalers can make extra money for NOT killing the whale, the price of whale meat will go up and there will be no more need for them to spend money to advertise whalemeat and get people to eat it. The demand for whalemeat will drop. Eventually whales will no longer serve as food.

I think the whole procedure is difficult but not impossible. It can also be applied to other species. People and companies already own stretches of rainforrest to protect it, this idea is essentialy the same.

zeno, Sep 22 2009

Inspiration Whale_20Mail
[zeno, Sep 22 2009]


       //The paint://
This I like.
If the paint could be applied by computer-controlled paintball guns, the whale could have corporate logos applied.
Whale - and tree-huggers pay fortunes to go on whale-watching trips, so the corporations have an affluent demographic to pass their advertising message on to.
Everybody wins.
coprocephalous, Sep 22 2009

       neat but... unless the owner was actually living on (or in) the whale, it would be termed "salvage".
FlyingToaster, Sep 22 2009

       Not sure about the 'salvage' thing FT.   

       If that were so, could I claim salvage on any of the unmanned miltary hardware? (such as submarine locators which are dropped into the sea and left there to wait for a sub then transmit it's location)   

       I'm not sure about the underlying concept of whale ownership, but I guess it's a workable distortion of capitalism to make the best of a bad lot. (+)
Twizz, Sep 22 2009

       //submarine locators//
I imagine that if you were to pick one up mid-ocean, its owners would be right along to ask politely for you to give it back long before you could get out of International Waters.
FlyingToaster, Sep 22 2009

       I think the salvage thing rests on whether the the vessel being salvaged is in a condition of "peril" or not.
zen_tom, Sep 22 2009

       or simply make whaling an international offense. Board boats in suspicious areas, search them and if evidence of whaling is present, sink them. This would of course require international participation. Anything else is somewhat pathetic, no?
WcW, Sep 22 2009

       If you strike my whale with your boat, even accidentally, can I sue you for damages?   

       Perhaps one could launch a successful side business in whale insurance.
tatterdemalion, Sep 22 2009

       yeah but what if your whale strikes my boat leaving me with one leg and a psychotic OCD ?
FlyingToaster, Sep 22 2009


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