Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Cat's Tongue

New Upholstery Cleaning Device
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My cat could seemingly clean anything from his fur that the world could throw at it, including: oil, when he squeezed under the sump of the car; gloss and emulsion paint and every variety of dirt imaginable. Once his tongue was brought to bear on the offending material, it just seemed to vanish, the result I presume of a combination of physical and natural chemical debridement.

The Cat's Tongue product would imitate the action of a living cat. It would consist of a handle, complete with reservoir supply of "cat enzyme"; a throat, from which The Tongue would emerge, and a stomach container for depositing the removed dirt. In use, the rasping Tongue would be impregnated with enzyme and dragged across the offending stain. The Tongue would periodically retract into the mouth of its handle where the dissolved material would be scraped off to be deposited in the stomach for later emptying at your convenience.

xenzag, Dec 30 2005

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       Andrew - Golden Retriever Puppy Tongue Toilet paper.... Now there's a big market.
Dub, Dec 30 2005
  

       Dub, did you mean Andrex? now there's a freudian slip.
po, Dec 30 2005
  

       Freudian Slippers - walking around wearing your underwear over your feet instead of your shoes and socks
xenzag, Dec 30 2005
  

       [po] No, I was avoiding legal action! I first wrote Andre>< then rotated the symbols (VV) then replaced it with W, to reduce download time, and storage requirements.   

       Anyway, what would I want with Andrew's tongue downthere? I've got one in my head already.   

       Fraudian lickers?
Dub, Dec 30 2005
  
      
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