Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Department of Non-sexual Penis Massage

Myofascial health morality development agency
  (+1, -6)(+1, -6)
(+1, -6)
  [vote for,

This is a government agency that sees to the implementation of the remediation of outdated laws about morality, through the proactive, preemptive, hands-on, in-person, real time real space distribution of non sexual myofascial trigger point penis Massage, by a network of forward thinking practitioners to include illegal immigrants who have health skills and experience but no English Language skills, and blind people who want to learn Massage as a volunteer activity or business for their retirement from jobs with the Federal Government, who need audio description to understand what is going on inside the body in the course of myofascial manipulation.

This is a narrow world, there are maybe 10 terms that non English speakers can memorize along with a starter series of grammatical constructions and pronunciation coaching, so that it would not be too hard for individuals to go through the training so that it could be started on a volunteer basis before funds to scale were requested.

The penis serves as an excellent, boneless map of the body’s Myofascial Trigger Point system. We should target morality laws that are obtuse about drawing lines around traditional notions about sexuality by initiating a non-sexual regimen, at first as an instructional website teaching self non-sexual Massage, but eventually to include certified practitioners with a strong set of best practices that are implemented in real time.

The key point here is drawing the line around actual measurable ejaculation rather than just the touching of a penis.

JesusHChrist, Oct 14 2017

The extension of this Full_20Range_20Moti...ery_20for_20Rapture
[JesusHChrist, Oct 14 2017]

Myofascial pain syndrome https://www.mayocli...nition/CON-20033195
[Voice, Oct 15 2017]

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       Did you type all that with one hand?
mylodon, Oct 14 2017

       I think this was posted by Donald Trump. Of course as he can’t read or write, he dictated the whole thing to one of his equally brainless minions.
xenzag, Oct 14 2017

       Equally brainless but literate and able to type? Do they lack another commonly held mental capability in compensation?
nineteenthly, Oct 14 2017

       I'm afraid the author believes that morality is the reason why he's not getting any. He might like to check his assumptions there.
pertinax, Oct 14 2017

       Was your penile fascia damaged in some way that it requires massage to alleviate pain?   

       That's pretty bad as far as pick-up lines go.   

JesusHChrist, Oct 14 2017

       I've checked back over the last few months' activity here on the HB and, as far as I can tell, we may be witnessing the longest drug high in human history.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 14 2017

       A truly psychedelic experience.
JesusHChrist, Oct 14 2017

       //Was your penile fascia damaged in some way that it requires massage to alleviate pain?   

       That's pretty bad as far as pick-up lines go.//   

       ^ LOL. Good stuff.
doctorremulac3, Oct 18 2017

       Do we have an initialism for being able to identify the author by the title ?
normzone, Oct 18 2017

       We should. The other day I nailed three out of three.   

       it's the little things...   

       [beany] is so easy he shouldn't count for that.
notexactly, Mar 16 2018


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