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The Ejector Bra

Like ejection seats ... for boobs
  (+20, -4)(+20, -4)
(+20, -4)
  [vote for,

As I read 21quest’s Overwire Astro Bra idea, I felt a great sorrow.

It seemed to me, that the end result of his idea was diametrically opposed to what ought to be.

Hence: The Ejector Bra.

Utilizing the same technology in vehicle airbags, the Ejector Bra can safely* and effectively de-cup the wearer’s breasts, expediently, in an emergency situation. The lower portion of each cup is fitted with a small airbag. Just one tug on the decorative bowtie, between the cups, will deploy the airbags; ejecting the breasts up and out of the bra.

The airbags are deployed via compressed nitrogen gas, which is kept in a small cylinder sewn into the strapping. Whatever your reason for needing to evacuate your bra; the Ejector Bra can do so, swiftly and safely*.

*MikeD Products assumes no liability for damages caused either directly or indirectly by activation of the Ejector Bra.

MikeD, Jan 19 2010

The inspiration Overwire_20Astro_20Bra
[MikeD, Jan 19 2010]


       Also... ejector Y-fronts?
pocmloc, Jan 19 2010

       very sick, you devil...+ish.
blissmiss, Jan 19 2010

       This is Onstar we've had a report of breasts exposed. Do you want me to call your parents?
leinypoo13, Jan 19 2010

       Don't breasts come pre-sprung? Just undo a front-opening bra, and they'll pop right out. No need for airbags, except for the flat-chested, and I think those are already Baked.
DrCurry, Jan 19 2010

       tell me what emergency would require de-cupping a bra!? you fellas are so sad.
po, Jan 19 2010

       This is offensive and disrespectful to women. A woman's breasts are not playthings or pop-up toys - they are nature's gift and a promise to future generations.   

       So, if you can't have this device play music as it pop's out the boys, you should really delete it.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 19 2010

       so where is your -1?
po, Jan 19 2010

       I'm saving it in case vfrackis posts something.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 19 2010

       I think I may have once owned a pair of boxer shorts with a similar built in function.
bungston, Jan 19 2010

Mustardface, Jan 20 2010

       <pop!><pop!> [+]
hippo, Jan 20 2010

       On the underground trains in London, there's a sign warning that people who inappropriately pull the "Emergency Stop" lever will be fined. I think this device may need a similar sign.
hippo, Jan 20 2010

       //tell me what emergency would require de-cupping a bra//   

       I have no clue. I was honestly hoping the HB girls could come up with a validating scenario.   


       Bwahahaha. I'm going to be giggling all day because of that, [hippo].
MikeD, Jan 20 2010

       would the bra have a warning lable in the form of a graphic that identifies danger. simple line drawing of a face biting the seated breast through the braw is explosively dangerous?   

       i am thinking of the drawings on machinery danger labels with a hand mangled in the gears or similar
vfrackis, Jan 20 2010

       I was thumbing through the 20 level Technical Manuals, for a few of the tracked vehicles I work on, the other day just to look at those exact warning pictographs. Some of them are quite amusing.   

       To answer your question though, [frackis]: Yes; Sewn onto the other side of the wash instructions.
MikeD, Jan 20 2010

       emergency #1 = end of days: if you see it comming everyone will need to activate quickly.   

       i for one would hate to see a bra get in the way of the emergency proliferation of the human race.   

       emergency #2 = messaging: you lose your voice at a protest but you happen to have your message scrawled on your breasts. you will need to expose them rapidly.   

       emergency #3 = car accident: you walk away but your loved ones lives hang in the balance. you are on the interstate at rush hour in ny - no one is gonna stop to help you and you can not wait for the police. emergency breast release is your moral obligation and possibly the only way to stop traffic.
vfrackis, Jan 20 2010

       emergency #4 - arrival of starving children: you happen to be lactating and you find yourself beseech ed by starving children.
vfrackis, Jan 20 2010

       // the HB girls//   

       I was about to suggest that MikeD might wish to reconsider that, but then vfrackis stepped into the breech with something to overshadow it. Good work, v.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 20 2010

       "Why, how thoughtful honey; you bought me a bra !"
FlyingToaster, Jan 25 2010

       Some breasts are already pushed up as far as they can go already. An emergency release, maybe.
rcarty, Jan 25 2010

       #5: Deploying the Ejector Bra could dissuade an unwelcomed motor-boater.   

       //Some breasts are already pushed up as far as they can go already//   

       The Ejector Bra is more function than form. If the wearer is concerned with appearing more voluptuous, she can always stuff.
MikeD, Jan 25 2010

rcarty, Jan 25 2010


       Brilliant. It seems only proper that each cup should have a small packet of confetti. I actually feel ashamed for not having implemented confetti into the idea, in the first place.   

       <envisioning the conclusion to the 1812 overture played with breast deployment for accompaniment in lieu of canon fire.>
MikeD, Jan 25 2010

       It's not over until the fat lady sings and her breasts deploy.
rcarty, Jan 25 2010

       The front should also have a bright red sign: WARNING: Wear safety goggles!   

       With a line drawing of the boy-beaters and their enhanced airbag deployment pummeling someone who got too close.   

       No, anyone who gets that close and needs a warning deserves what's coming to him.
ye_river_xiv, Jan 25 2010


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