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Suction Bra

Back fat never looked so good.
  (+3, -4)
(+3, -4)
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Bras more or less lift and shape what's already there. They can enhance cleavage, padding can increase size, and thick material can cover up "High beams". They can even absorb and deodorize the dreaded boob sweat.

What a bra can't do is actually make breasts larger.

Enter the Suction Bra, a bra manufactured out of rubber and fitted with two low profile hoses (one on each cup), and cleverly shaped to follow the body around to the back. The Suction Bra sucks the breast, chest fat, belly fat, and back fat up towards and into the bra, resulting in a fuller chest and a slimmer torso. No more ugly rolls of fat over your bra strap.

The Suction Bra comes with a purse-sized vacuum pump to power the bra.

The optional Suction Bra Milk Extraction module will pump you as well if you're breastfeeding.

threelefts, Feb 17 2011

4 [3lefts] Alphabet_20base
[po, Feb 17 2011]

Baked (Pump sold separately) http://www.medicalt...Breast_Pumping.html
NSFW! NSFW! NSFW! NSFW! NSFW! (You've been warned!) [Klaatu, Feb 18 2011]


       I'm concerned that the Suction Bra might not be comfortable, but then I remembered I'm male and its comfort will not affect me.
threelefts, Feb 17 2011

       Not true. Theres a general rule that says if a nearby woman is not comfortable then you too will not be comfortable.
rcarty, Feb 17 2011

       very true - its a basic female rule
po, Feb 17 2011

       A cursory foray with Google took us into some of the darker corners of the Internet, and we are now unfortunately aware that this idea is in fact Baked, although obviously not Widely Known To Exist, for a very large number of excellent reasons.
8th of 7, Feb 17 2011

       So this is like a penis pump for tits?
MikeD, Feb 17 2011

       I too have long suspected that this exists.
nineteenthly, Feb 17 2011

       this is one of those WiBNi s which every woman wants but no one has ballocks enough to post, but hark...since you have three left it all makes sense.
dentworth, Feb 18 2011

       Which one hangs lowest then? The leftmost?
rcarty, Feb 18 2011

       //obviously not Widely Known To Exist//   

       Mrs. MikeD was aware of this animal. Maybe it's just not widely known to exist amongst the male population. Which begets the question: "Is the average female aware of the penis-pump?"   

       Also, be warned: Asking your fairer half if they are aware of the existence of tit-pumps, er you know like to make them... bigger?, can swiftly lead to the condition [Po] and [rcarty] where referencing.
MikeD, Feb 19 2011

       If this literally sucks subcutaneous fat out of one location and into another, then surely it's not a garment so much as an instrument for some one-off, dubiously hygienic, surgical liposuction. If it doesn't, then surely all it would do is generate some unsightly monster hickeys. Otherwise, erm, surely something else, surely.
pertinax, Feb 20 2011

       Excellent point, [perty]. I also recognized the anatomical impossibility of this idea, yet failed to mention it. I must be getting soft in my old age. I might have to start being a bigger ass-hole... on principle, of course.
MikeD, Feb 21 2011

       Does suction (or other forms of stretching) promote growth by encouraging cell division, or simply by increasing vascular volume?   

       What would happen if you sucked a brain?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 21 2011

       You'd be Hannibal Lechter.
shapu, Feb 23 2011


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