Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Embers Of 'Eighty-Four

Continually add months to the end of 1984
  [vote for,

In an Orwellian move, rather akin to the clocks striking thirteen, Ingsoc has decreed that there are years after 1984. This is doubleplusungood. This has been going on for quite a while now, and it must stop. We must strike a blow for reason and assert the truth: it's still 1984.

In the past, I merely considered that adding extra days to the end of December was sufficient, but I realise now that that was silly. Much more sensible would be to count the months, effectively creating a new calendar.

So: the current date is not 2nd December 2017 at all. No, it is 1984, it has always been 1984, and it always will be 1984. It's just that it's 2nd Quadringentistrigintember 1984 rather than 2nd December 2017. They have been lying to us for the past thirty-two years.

What this amounts to, roughly, is a calendar when it's been 1984 for several decades, so the year is almost irrelevant. The months proceed as normal, with Undecimber 1984 having thirty-one days, Duodecimber 1984 having twenty- eight and so on, with leap days in the appropriate places. It's just that they're numbered and we're currently in the 430th month of the year, by my possibly wrong arithmetic. The numbering is based on naming the months after December 1984, so the nomenclature looks as if it's a few months out but it is in fact correct.

A further benefit is that there are no longer anniversaries, birthdays or holidays, which I'm sure will please the citizens of Airstrip One.

nineteenthly, Dec 02 2017


       // They have been lying to us for the past thirty-two years //   

       No, they haven't. It has always been this way. You would do well to remember that, unless you want a visit from the Thought Police.   

       Now, go back to watching your Telescreen; it will be the x factor soon, and therefore time for the Sixty Minute Hate.   

8th of 7, Dec 02 2017

       An exercise in accountancy: how do you make "a boot stamping on a human face forever" appear in GDP figures as a growth in output from the service sector?   

       Hint: you may find some useful clues in David Riesman's "The Lonely Crowd".
pertinax, Dec 02 2017


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