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In an Orwellian move, rather akin to the clocks striking
thirteen, Ingsoc has decreed that there are years after
1984. This is doubleplusungood. This has been going on
for quite a while now, and it must stop. We must strike a
blow for reason and assert the truth: it's still 1984.
In the
past, I merely considered that adding extra days to
the end of December was sufficient, but I realise now
that
that was silly. Much more sensible would be to count the
months, effectively creating a new calendar.
So: the current date is not 2nd December 2017 at all.
No,
it is 1984, it has always been 1984, and it always will be
1984. It's just that it's 2nd Quadringentistrigintember
1984
rather than 2nd December 2017. They have been lying
to
us for the past thirty-two years.
What this amounts to, roughly, is a calendar when it's
been
1984 for several decades, so the year is almost
irrelevant.
The months proceed as normal, with Undecimber 1984
having thirty-one days, Duodecimber 1984 having
twenty-
eight and so on, with leap days in the appropriate
places.
It's just that they're numbered and we're currently in the
430th month of the year, by my possibly wrong
arithmetic.
The numbering is based on naming the months after
December 1984, so the nomenclature looks as if it's a few
months out but it is in fact correct.
A further benefit is that there are no longer
anniversaries,
birthdays or holidays, which I'm sure will please the
citizens of Airstrip One.
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// They have been lying to us for the past thirty-two years // |
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No, they haven't. It has always been this way. You would do well
to remember that, unless you want a visit from the Thought
Police. |
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Now, go back to watching your Telescreen; it will be the x factor
soon, and therefore time for the Sixty Minute Hate. |
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An exercise in accountancy: how do you make "a boot stamping
on a human face forever" appear in GDP figures as a growth in
output from the service sector? |
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Hint: you may find some useful clues in David Riesman's "The
Lonely Crowd". |
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