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The EnnWii

Dunno if I can be bothered posting this...
  (+15, -1)(+15, -1)
(+15, -1)
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Horrendously expensive and packed with up-to-the-minute cutting-edge technology, the EnnWii is only affordable by those with a superfluity of assets and a paucity of imagination.

Encased in an exquisitely hand-tooled marquetry veneered box, the EnnWii controller houses an impressive array of incredibly sensitive motion sensors and position finders that would make even Johnny 5 blush. The console itself, housed in a casing hewn from a single slab of meteorite rock, has a processing power and graphics capability that rival those of even the most expensive supercomputers.

Not that they ever get used much.

There is only one game for the EnnWii. It has no graphics, no sound, and no point. It doesn’t even have a title. Any movement registered by the controller – and it is sensitive enough to register even the subtlest world-weary sigh – counts against the player.

Or rather, it would do, if the massively overpowered console was actually keeping score. The only output the game gives is that of a glaringly green LCD-type clock, in the bottom corner of the screen, which slowly ticks off the time second by second. The less input the controller gets, the longer each second stretches, thus prolonging that particular long, dark night of the soul for maximum existential enjoyment.

Flail your controller about like a mad thing and you can unlock a souped-up version of Pong, which will hopefully bring you out of your self-absorbed reverie.

lostdog, Feb 21 2008

Hold Your Wee for a Wii contest http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16614865/
Water intoxication eyed in ‘Hold Your Wee for a Wii’ contest death. [pyggy potamus, Feb 23 2008]

Yamaha Wind controller http://www.yamaha.c...253DPRODUCT,00.html
There are several types of these. [csea, Feb 24 2008]


       <sniffs> hmmmm, nice arse but I'm tired...
po, Feb 21 2008

       Ah, you mean enuwii? Oui? A french invention?
zeno, Feb 22 2008

       Don't let your friends have one, or else it'll be the EnnWii of your peers....
jutta, Feb 22 2008

       I'm still waiting for someone to come up with the Wii wee game.
skinflaps, Feb 22 2008

       I think that's my all-time favourite annotation, po.
lostdog, Feb 22 2008

       //Ah, you mean enuwii? Oui? A french invention?//
Also coming soon - The MaisWii.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 23 2008

       Wii are amused.   

       Have Wii beaten this one to death yet?   

       <hums old Scots folk song to his elf>
Wii a hundred pipers, an' a', an' a',
Wii a hundred pipers, an' a', an' a',
Wii'll up an' gie 'em a blaw, a blaw
Wii a hundred pipers, an' a', an' a'.
Canuck, Feb 23 2008

       Wi' an inging ane an aw...   

       Canuck - Now you've got me thinking about a kazoo-type attachment to the Wii controller. Which registers your puff.   

       Out of respect to my fellow HBers I won't post it, but "Sax Hero" could have been posted. Imagine passing that saliva-sodden controller to the next player...
lostdog, Feb 24 2008

       Would be fun to hack one of these [link] to a Wii. Oddly, it's called a WX11.
csea, Feb 24 2008


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