Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Immigration Game

Fight for your rights
  (+3, -5)
(+3, -5)
  [vote for,

Applicants for residence visas and/or citizenship should be allowed an alternative route to illegal immigration.

They can enter a lottery for weekly or monthly televised gladiatorial games where they fight another potential immigrant.

The winner gets resident status and a modest financial reward. The loser gets patched up and sent home, or a free funeral.

To avoid legal complications, and complaints from hand-wringing pinko liberals, the fights would be staged on a ship in international waters.

Governments get the revenue from the TV rights after the costs of running the ship are paid to the organizers.

8th of 7, Mar 25 2016

The immigrant song https://www.youtube...watch?v=kEGuHdKn0Lc
[normzone, Mar 25 2016]


       This is more or less the present system.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 25 2016

Voice, Mar 25 2016

       Lol, 'immigrants', right?
WcW, Mar 25 2016

       What language would the fights be announced in?   

       Maybe a spelling bee would suffice. Usually less blood.   

       For the fights in Grandmothers and toddlers classes, perhaps Tag teams ?
popbottle, Mar 26 2016

       8th, the only problem I see with this is: 50% of immigrants will be accepted. If we pit two champions against each other for citizenship, then we will have half the immigration and almost twice the over-head.   

       [+], btw.
MikeD, Mar 26 2016

       Better would be something like "the amazing race" where camera crew follow groups of immigrants each trying a different route or approach to get to Germany.
bungston, Mar 26 2016

       Staging multiple daily fights playoff-style would reduce at-sea overhead. A daily pool of 32 contestants sparring one-on-one simultaneously would reduce to a single very tired champion after 5 sets.
whatrock, Mar 27 2016

       Hey [8th]...   

       Did that Half Bakery flag ever make it out to you?? I've had several email changes since my Afghanistan deployment so I lost contact.
MikeD, Mar 28 2016

       The downside to immigration is the probability that you import disease, a casual disregard for the finer points of enlightenment thinking, or violent murderers. This idea essentially applies selective pressure FOR violent murderers*. This is certainly a good idea, since the more violent murderers a country has, the more realistic the TV crime dramas seem. This is the first idea I have seen today which really gets to the nub of the TV crime drama credibility gap.   

       *possibly against disease, I imagine severe respiratory infection or a congenital heart deformity would be somewhat disadvantageous in a fight to the death.
bs0u0155, Mar 28 2016


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