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Banknote designers favour illustrating
banknotes with pictures of men with
abundant facial hair, as this gives them
excuse for thousands of fine engraved
lines and makes the banknote harder to
forge. However, this is (a) unfair to
potential female candidates for banknote
and (b) facial hair is going
of fashion(*), leading to a dearth of
candidates for the next generation of
Our system of
honours in the UK is somewhat
("Knights of the Order of the Garter" -
what's a garter?) and due for a revamp.
Therefore it seems logical to institute a
new order of honour - the Knights of the
Order of the False Beard and Moustache.
This honour would only be given to the
most worthy in the land - much the same
as the candidate pool for banknote
illustrations. Official photos and
illustrations would show these fine men
and women resplendent in their false
(*) Except in
certain parts of rural Sussex.
Reserve Bank of Australia: Notes in Circulation
See "Current Notes in Circulation" for names. [Detly, Jul 09 2005]
The Handlebar Moustache Club
The Next Generation of Bank Note models [Minimal, Jul 11 2005]
||Perhaps, if a new trend could be set for
posing with arms raised, the
discrimination against women could be
avoided? (There are other solutions, I
||surely then you are discriminating against bearded ladies
||What's a garter? Some kind of snake, I
think. Worn under the trousers. It must
be a trousersnake.
||Perhaps the solution is to adopt a
standardised pose for all bank-note
portraits - hair tousled, arms held high,
legs akimbo. Perhaps holding a small
un-kempt Yorkshire terrier. Can't see
the queen being very enthusiastic
though (Corgies are too sleek-coated
and hevelled to be effective).
||That would open the door to
||A couple (at least) of our banknotes have prominent Australian women on them.
||I think QE2 is on every bank note, already, in the UK? I saw her recently on the box, and she didn't appear to be sporting any growth.
||//facial hair is going out of fashion//
Oh no it isn't. All the trendiest people have enormous bushy beards these days.
||How would you spot a fraudster wearing
a false false beard and moustache?
||Simple; walk up and give it a good tug.
||When I first read the title for this idea I thought it was going to be about an organization for people who deface currency by drawing on the faces of dead politicians.
||Instead of thousands of fine engraved lines depicting facial hair simply substitute thousands of fine engraved lines depicting facial wrinkles, double chins, moles, warts, whatever. I think you'd soon see potential candidates running to find the false beard & moustache.
||If it's beards you want why not create the Order of the Pir- STOP IT! ENOUGH with that bucanneering stuff! It's silly.
||How about replacing pictures of dead
people with pictures of animals which
we have managed to exterminate within
living memory? There are at least a
hundred hairy mammals and feathery
birds (with more on the way), and they
deserve the memorial more than most
||Banknotes generally try to commemorate our finest achievements.
||Well, I expect the guy who shot the last
Falkland Islands Dog figured he was
||You could just put George, John, Paul, or Ringo in their hairgrowing heyday on the pound. No? I'd try & get my hands on those for the memory. I was thinking Abbey Road, but I'm not really sure all of them had a beard at that time.
Has the Euro made the Pound a bit of history? I don't really know.
||No, 'cos unlike nearly everyone else in Europe, the UK has not switched to the Euro.
||There is a club for people with handlebar moustaches who have something similar to this, I think they get together to compare & comb, and give out prizes etc.......(See Link) Check out the whiskers and chops on some of these fellas!!