h a l f b a k e r yYeah, I wish it made more sense too.
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Carved into a cave, at the zenith of a mountain stands The Orreracle of Halfbakers: A gargantuan clockwork representation of the solar system. Each planet is a hemisphere, delicately hewn from stone, which contains a Halfbaker whose wisdom and council may be beseeched.
Anyone seeking wisdom may enter
the Orreracle, and pass through each orbit receiving knowledge from each Halfbaker, in kind.
First, the knowledge thirsty adventurer will enter Plutos orbit. Here, he will pose his quandary to [2 fries shy of a happy meal] who, like Pluto, is small, skewed and farthest from illumination.
Next, our wisdom seeker will enter the orbit of Neptune, and beseech [21 Quest], the vengeful lord of fish, for his guidance.
After Neptune, our intrepid traveler will enter into the orbit of Uranus. There, [zen_tom], whose circular logic runs orthogonal to the norm, will provide if not insight, a least an utterly different point of view.
Next is the jewel of our solar system: Saturn. And just as Saturn sits, resplendent at the center of its rings, so [MaxwellBuchanan] sits, in the center of his enviable possessions, bestowing his Marie Antoinette-like wisdom on those who would ask.
Then its on to Jupiter, where our humble voyager will ask council from [8th of 7], who is also bloated and comprised entirely of hot gas.
Now the young pupil must navigate his way through the broken shards of what once was the great [UnaBubba], to make his way to the orbit of Mars.
Once there, [DrBob] whose ancient visage has been marred with time and tinged with oxidation, will illuminate the traveler with rant-like wisdom, trailing off into a well-rehearsed and half-hearted general disapproval for todays youth.
After Mars, our seeker of truth will beseech [BenFrost] for wisdom. Like our mother Earth, so to is [BenFrost]. For the exteriors of both are covered in fluids and crawling with parasites.
Next, upon entering the orbit of Venus, [blissmiss]: The goddess of love and beauty will burry the traveler under a barrage of cheer and trite clichés. What wholesomeness and general well-being has been created within the heart of our intrepid traveler however will be lost, once he has entered the orbit of Mercury.
Here, [Daseva]s swift wit and mercurial nature will disorientate the pioneer as he receives [Daseva]s nihilistic advice.
If our, now thoroughly humbled, voyager has yet to gain the wisdom he has sought; He may approach the great Sol. [jutta] will grant his quandary a response and his ignorance will be illuminated, for her opinion, (however incongruent with reality), shines true and unquestioned in the universe of the Halfbakery.
As the entire ordeal would be most unsettling, the traveler may ask the Halfbakers to repeat their advice again, on the way out
however, to do so would be purely masochistic.
Planets_20_26_20Asteroids
[FlyingToaster, Apr 07 2010]
The Sleepwalkers
https://archive.org...ChangingVisionOfThe [pertinax, Sep 27 2015]
[link]
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Uh, it's an Orerry... So... I like that. Don't tell Jutta, but, some
day I may attempt to launch all the Orrery ideas at once with
'Launch' annos to create a Halfbakery Orrery of Orrery ideas in
Recent. |
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MikeD, very nicely thought out. Can we have a little twinke star
for po in there somewhere? |
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Aries alpha, maybe? She was going to be Earth until the BenFrost comparision struck me. |
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[-] <harrumph> and <link> |
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I remember Ornerorrery. I voted for it.
Not the same as this one. What? |
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MikeD, but, then, with Jutta only the Sun, who is God? |
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hmmm, must be time to titan the old Kuiper belt again. |
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"My God ! He's full of ... hot gas !" |
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I don't think I've ever made it into a Pantheon before - I quite like it, orthagonal or no, we just need to work on the name of my orbit - as for circular logic - consider a line of logic, carving out a straight and true path on the ground - now zoom out, and as you go higher, the line starts to curve, zoom further still until you are in orbit and the line becomes circular - it's only a matter of scale. |
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Otherwise, I think I quite like the dark-roast humour on this - the idea of anyone coming here for wisdom and being "touched" by the experience in a potentially unwelcome way is a fun one. |
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I'm deeply insulted by this, MikeD. "trailing off into a well-rehearsed and half-hearted general disapproval for todays youth"? How dare you, sir! I hate them with a passion! And probably their parents as well. And any texting that they might do. And some other stuff that I can''t remember just for the moment...has anyone seen my slippers? |
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<Tucks tartan blanket around [DrBob]'s knees> |
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"Your slippers are on your feet, dear. Look, there, at the end of your legs ... your Legs ... YOUR LEGS ... yes, those things ... yes, they're yours... here, a nice cup of tea ... CUP OF TEA ... " |
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It's so sad when they end up like that. |
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Is that some sort of College Fraternity initiation ritual ? |
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//This idea promotes me to Lordship// |
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You'd better watch out [21Quest], me thinks [FT] is vying for your throne! |
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...sigh. Not even a moon. I'm gonna cry... |
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//BenFrost comparision struck me// what's that again? |
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Well, [Rayford], I suppose the rest of us are either brilliant comets with eccentric orbits, or just dim Kuyper Belt objects. Perhaps it's better for us not to know which. |
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[po], I think BenFrost's "comparision" is the name of an installation piece from which the artist might leap out unexpectedly and slap the viewer with a wet fish. |
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I guess *I'm the dim object. |
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Brown Dwarf. 'nuff said ... |
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We won't mention the few black holes... |
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Ewww... there's some dark matter there... |
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//I guess *I'm the dim object.// |
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Not at all. Congratulations on appealing to the narcissist in all
of us. :) |
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[Pertinax], thanks. I was a little worried that the subjects of the idea might not take the comparisons as light hearted as they were meant to be, but the annotations have proved otherwise. And I am releived. I guess I have been around here long enough to half-pull this off. |
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//either brilliant comets with eccentric orbits, or just dim Kuyper Belt objects.// |
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Deep down inside, they know which category best fits. |
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Ignorance is bliss. And bliss is ignorant, mostly. What
goes over my head usually doesn't upset me a bit.
And most things do. But honored for inclusion with
the infamous BenFrost, the world famous arteest. |
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I'm just staying quiet, lest I reveal... aw dammit. Too late. |
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I've been reading Koestler's "The Sleepwalkers", which documents a lot of beautifully half-baked thinking from the past, and I now think it might make more sense to map half-bakers to astronomers than to ... astronomees. |
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In the style of a trailer for a blockbuster, then,
Tycho Brahe IS [MaxwellBuchanan]
Nicolas Copernicus IS [nineteenthly]
Galileo has the honour of playing [21 Quest]
and Kepler ... a chippy, self-deprecating obsessive, with a love-hate working relationship with Brahe. Hmm ... |
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I am flattered. Do I get to wear the brass nose? |
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I thought it was silver - but yes. |
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Other perquisites include an entire, dedicated mad-science island off Copenhagen, a dwarf jester and the job title "Imperial Mathematicus". I must admit to a bit of envy for the job title. |
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//an entire, dedicated mad-science island off
Copenhagen,//
Got.
// a dwarf jester//
Got two.
// and the job title "Imperial Mathematicus". //
What's a "job title"? |
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I'm happy to be totally extraterrestrial to this domestic arrangement. |
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I'll be the person, under this eddifice to knowledge, trying to work his
camera in panoramic mode. |
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"You're gonna need a bigger lens." |
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Probably not bigger, just with exceptional curves and clever interpolation finesse. |
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