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The Starting Over Agency

A witness protection programme for people who are not witness and don't need protecting.
  (+14, -1)(+14, -1)
(+14, -1)
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My friend is currently looking for a new life. She's broken up with her long-time boyfriend, she's not enjoying her job and she feels stuck, so she wants to start over. Apparently, a lot of people feel like this, but never actually do it, because it is just so hard - you'll have to find a new job, a new house, a new circle of friends - everything.

So, enter the Starting Over agency. An agency that works like the witness protection programme. They can give you a new life, complete with a new name (if you like). Choose any major city in the world where you would like to live. They'll find you a job in that city with a similar or better; they'll find you a new home to the approximate value of the one you own now.

Their personal image consultant gives you a new look - a haircut, maybe a new hair colour, a new wardrobe. They look at your interests and find clubs and organizations that you'll be interested in and suggest you join (like photography or a book club). They'll hook you up with other people who have moved their recently using the agency.

Instant new life. Exciting if you're the adventurous type.

I'm not suggesting you pronounce your old self dead and cut off all contact with old friends and family - it's just a good way to start over if you need to.

Oh, and the company will vet you to make sure you're not running away from the cops or committing tax fraud or something (although this could be their biggest market?).

Flux, Apr 07 2005

Reali-tv's stab at it. http://www.startingovertv.com/
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Apr 07 2005]

HB Archives: "New Identity Island" New_20Identity_20Island
A related idea from a couple years back. [bristolz, Apr 09 2005]

[link]






       I've done this pretty much all my life-still ended up standing on a wall where it all started.
skinflaps, Apr 07 2005
  

       Oftentimes you take your problems with you, because many of them simply stem out of how you interact with the world.
RayfordSteele, Apr 07 2005
  

       Hmm... true, your location doesn't dictate your happiness. But I think you may have a better chance if you're taken out of a 'bad' situation.
Flux, Apr 07 2005
  

       Real estate agencies exist, recruitment agencies exist, image consultants exist (as do hairdressers and clothes shops). As far as I can see, the only missing part is where you get to meet other people who have failed in a previous location. Oh, and the guaranteed excitement.
angel, Apr 07 2005
  

       ... at least you have friends and family.
reensure, Apr 07 2005
  

       I seem to be starting over constantly. I feel the excitement of the challenges of new places and experiences, but it gets tiring. So i can see why many people stay where they are, have babies and stay in position where they feel 'stuck' as your friend sounds like she feels.   

       Perhaps these things are inherent - you are either someone who enjoys the stability of long term friends and family - in which case you will always long for less responsibility or someone who is always moving around, setting down shallow roots - yet still wishing for security.   

       All things considered, the starting over agency seems like a 'i don't want to be me' service that currently plagues our early 21st century experience ie plastic surgery, home renovations, ab workout machines - all dreams that have little substance -- and once you shell out for these things you assume it will fix the problems in your life, yet it really just presents you with an entirely new set of problems.
benfrost, Apr 08 2005
  

       [2 fries] the woman in the top left hand corner of the link (allison)- is she smoking a pipe? i sense it really be a pirate makeover aharr.
benfrost, Apr 08 2005
  

       What a great idea. One huge market I can see for this is recovering drug addicts; one of the most effective ways to get over addiction is to start a new identity in a new city where one doesn't know any dealers or users. This can also help people run away from stalkers. A+.
disbomber, Apr 08 2005
  

       Moving and getting a hair cut is window dressing. We all know you can make a lot of money selling window dressing, but I wouldn't suggest giving a satisfaction guarantee.   

       The time tested truth on how to get a life. Jesus said "I came that they may have life and may have it abundantly." Seek Jesus Christ and find life. Really, He works.
stranger, Apr 08 2005
  

       Sure, religion can be help - if the person wants to change. But, like BrauBeaton said, people who lack the desire to change never will change, no mater how much help they get. Even god doesn't force anyone to change their life.
whippinggas, Apr 09 2005
  

       Any port in a storm eh [bf]? Well, maybe not.   

       I would suggest some kind of evaluation process, not only to weed out those running from the law, but those who are running away from problems that they can fix themselves. maybe offer counselling to help people fix their exsisting lives or to help prevent the same problems in their new lives.
BPhilpotts, Apr 09 2005
  

       And now we may add partial *face transplant* as the first one ever has just been done. (saw it on the news)
xandram, Mar 10 2008
  

       Really? The first partial face transplant (in France, on a woman mauled by her dog) was in the news in late 2005. The results didn't look like something you'd voluntarily do for the sake of change, though.
jutta, Mar 10 2008
  

       Well, we must be getting old news, as I saw it yesterday and they implied it was *now*. My bad for not checking it out!
OK, I found out they were doing an *update* on how well her face turned out and only now do they say it was *successful*...
xandram, Mar 10 2008
  

       Sounds like a new reality tv show could showcase some of the agency's successes: "extreme life makeover"; but then, people probably don't want their new identity publicized...
chaotician, Mar 10 2008
  

       I freakin' love agencies, dude.   

       [+]
Giblet, Mar 11 2008
  

       I freakin' love repetitive annotations, dude.   

       [+]
RayfordSteele, Mar 11 2008
  
      
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