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TimeXpander
A time dilation machine, so we can waste more time without wasting it all | |
This would probably have to be designed by someone like Mister Musk, just so that it can have an X in the name.
Think about it. You could step into the TimeXpander , set it to dilate an hour into a decade, then watch paint dry for years and years!
And an hour later step back out and paint the topcoat.
Who knows, it could alter your brain chemistry beyond recognition, like some sort of Salvia trip.
Just don't set the dial to 'infinity' or you could be stuck sitting in the TimeXpander for an eternal nanosecond, cursing Mr Musk for his audacity and overly high safety-harness standards that keep you bound in your seat til your time is up.
Right, that's it for me, time to step out and go wash my brushes.
[link]
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[-] You gotta give some idea of how it would work. See helpfile entries under "bad science" and "magic." |
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I think you should set it to "infinity" and then you can spend the rest of time until the heat death of the Universe reading the [help] page. |
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Looks more like a fishbone expander. |
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There was a kind of British student film at a film festival, wherein a young man working as a supermarket clerk has to stare at a clock on the wall all day. Every time it catches his glance, he realizes in horror that the hand is barely moving. I am more or less convinced that putting an hours:minutes:seconds readout on the inside of eyeglasses would extend your life. |
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I suppose the glasses in the film mentioned by 4and20 create a kind of placebo effect...which is all you really need to stretch time...I mean, time is partially an imaginary concept anyway, so really all you need is something to help alter your perception of it - like the glasses .
Thing is, you'd have to get everyone else on board and wearing the same glasses or there'd end up being a lot of arguments about punctuality and so forth. And that's not so simple, as we know from the mask debacle in 2020. Oh well, back to the drawing board.... |
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