Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Toddler Orrery

Keeps daddies from becoming too dizzy
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Toddlers love to spin their parents around in circles. Have more than one? Do they want to spin the same direction? Of course not. When do they want to spin? Probably when dad is already a bit tipsy.

This over-sized pole-mounted mobile type thing clips to their belts, keeping them all in unentangled orbits of their own choosing.

RayfordSteele, Oct 22 2014

[link]






       // clips to their belts //   

       What about a version that tightens around their necks … ?
8th of 7, Oct 22 2014
  

       (+) The digital version is already available. Electronic links connect them to your bank accounts and social calendar, from whence they spin you silly until somewhere between their eighteenth and thirty-fifth year.
normzone, Oct 22 2014
  

       sympathy bun [+]
pertinax, Oct 23 2014
  

       Bun.
FlyingToaster, Oct 23 2014
  

       Doable +
blissmiss, Oct 23 2014
  

       I will award [8th]'s second-best ornamental cat peeler to anyone who can say "toddler orrery" five times in under seven seconds.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 23 2014
  

       //second-best ornamental cat peeler   

       Is that like borrowing a lawn-mower?
not_morrison_rm, Oct 24 2014
  

       No, it's a trap, because all the cat-peelers we own are fully- functional, not ornamental. We don't actually own ANY ornamental cat-peelers.   

       He's just trying to get something for nothing, as usual, like one of those bogus you-have-won-the-lottery phone calls.
8th of 7, Oct 24 2014
  

       So, the ivory inlay and the engravings of young ladies are essential to its function, then?
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 24 2014
  

       The ivory inlay is to annoy the conservation fascists, and the engravings are to distract attention from the actual purpose of the device.
8th of 7, Oct 25 2014
  

       I see. And how many ornamental cats has it peeled?
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 25 2014
  

       Only by dint of avoiding the specially trained ninja RSPCA persons does 8th keep up with his ornamental cat peeling reign of terror.   

       Lived down the road from a ninja dojo, they used the same palatial guesthouse in Koshigaya as me...used to watch them eating breakfast and so wanted to say "it's not working, I can see you"...
not_morrison_rm, Oct 25 2014
  

       //it's not working, I can see you// Maybe they were inverse ninjas, the ones you can only see when they're somewhere else.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 25 2014
  

       Variable visibility could be handy for dating, like hiding wrinkles, wooden leg etc.
not_morrison_rm, Oct 25 2014
  

       Yours, or theirs ?
8th of 7, Oct 25 2014
  

       So, their ninja skills worked; you looked and saw nothing more than breakfast-eating...
pocmloc, Oct 25 2014
  

       Watch out for the stray Morris dancers that this will undoubtedly attract in springtime.
TomP, Oct 25 2014
  
      
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