The Tow-away-away car outwardly resembles a normal
door saloon, but differs from it in several respects.
First, it contains higher than the recommended levels of
lead. In fact, about 18 tons of the stuff are built into
reinforced body. This does not improve the car's urban-
fuel consumption, but bear with me on this.
Third, tank-esque caterpillar tracks are fitted just
of the wheels, out of sight. It is these which bear the
majority of the car's immense weight. This does not
improve handling but, again, bear with me.
Fourth, tinted windows and a particularly low-slung
position allow the driver to sit unobserved in the vehicle.
A built-in espresso machine and sandwich dispenser
sustenance for prolonged stakeouts.
Instructions for use: park up in a towaway zone, roll up
tinted windows, turn off the ignition, and wait.
As soon as the towtruck is securely coupled to the car,
simply turn on the ignition and drive to your preferred
destination (ideally, a dedicated barrier-controlled
lot). The towtruck can then be
released upon receipt of a suitable sum of money.