Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Traffic Rules for Humans

Keep them in line...
  [vote for,

People in a crowd tend to push, shove, trampede. On a busy sidewalk, you see people bumping, blocking each other, etc. So why don't we apply traffic rules to people? Slower pedestrians must "keep left", pedestrians emerging from an alley into a street must "give way", and pedestrians who want to slow down must "signal".

We should draw arrows on sidewalks indicating lanes and directions of travel. At bottlenecks and busy junctions, we should have traffic lights to ensure a smooth transition. At places where humans congregate, e.g. stadiums and concert halls, we should also set up more signs to direct the currents of human traffic.

And of course, we need penalties to discourage traffic violation. Anyone caught for minor offences will be forced to treadmill for an hour to power the city lights. Anyone caught for major offences such as bulldozing through a crowd or jumping queues will have their walking licence revoked.

baboo, Apr 09 2002

Proposed to be baked on Oxford Street http://news.bbc.co....1049000/1049698.stm
Oxford Street in London is extremely busy on the pavements, so exactly such a scheme has been proposed (including speed cameras) [vincebowdren, Apr 09 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]


       You must be British. ("Slower pedestrians must 'keep left'"). In other countries they would keep right and there would be mass confusion when traveling abroad.
willatlguy, Apr 09 2002

       Why not restrict ourselves to one rule: once you bump into each other the youngest person gets to pay a fine. This way people should become careful not to accidentally bump into someone older, and since it is hard to predict age: be careful!
spekkie, Apr 09 2002

       Man, if anybody pushed, shoved, etc. people wherever I've lived - they'd be short a pint (U.S. or U.K.) or two of blood in an even bigger hurry.
thumbwax, Apr 09 2002

       This idea is here already in a few forms, isn't it? (I know I should look but, well, I'm not going to.)
waugsqueke, Apr 09 2002

       Will there be Speedlimits? If you get too many violations will you lose your license to walk and have to drive to work? Will the sidewalk police turn on their lights and sirens and everyone has to move off to the side as they chase an offender? Seems kind of comical. Poor tourists will have to learn the local walking laws.
dag, Apr 09 2002

       To carry it further: we'll need license plates, this way we will know that the couple walking in front of us at 1 step per hour holding a map upside down are from out of country. New walkers would require a big N on their butts to alert us all. Obese people may need wide load signs (something I've been in favor of for a long time). Special lanes for people with strollers. This could go on and on, entire government divisions could be created, think of the employment! (time to move to the bush I think).
rbl, Apr 09 2002

       Oh, my; we'll need license plates? So, let me get this straight...bureaucratize every aspect of our simply "walking down the street", meanwhile any lame jackass can mate and have offspring at the drop of a hat? We need to seriously prioritize implementation of 'baked goods'.
Grog, Sep 17 2002


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