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Troll History

Fake events, people, history books, even statues in parks.
  [vote for,

Truth and fiction are hard to separate sometimes when reviewing history.

Fake historical events would make people aware that sometimes history lies. There would be no real problem of long term damage to the collective memory in this, the information age because you could easliy look up Cornwittiker Tyler Foly's first trip under the polar ice cap in a metal tube powered by the movement of the current in 1876.

"Cornwittiker Tyler Foly: Fake historical figure featured in fake historical event of first trip under the polar ice cap."

Fun fact: My aunt's second husband was the navigator on the Nautilus. At dinner once I asked him about it. His obviously often repeated standard joke was "It was easy, I just set the controls for north." Became a boomer captain after that. I asked him if he carried nuclear missiles and he said "I can neither confirm or deny the presence of nuclear weapons on any of the submarines I commanded."

Thought that was kind of fun.

Fake history? Maybe.

doctorremulac3, Nov 07 2019

Spoof museums Spoof_20Museums
Prior Art. [8th of 7, Nov 07 2019]


       //navigator on the Nautalus// I wonder if he knew the navigator on the near-namesake, the Nautilus?
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 07 2019

       Christ Max, that was up for probably 15 seconds before I caught it and changed it. (without your prompting) Jesus.
doctorremulac3, Nov 07 2019

       History never lies, because it can't, people lie, ultimately all history is second hand accounts received from people, so inevitably some history 'is' lies.   

       Anyone who can't string that together & treat history with the necessary caution it deserves is unlikely to be helped by this idea, it will only further muddy the waters.   

       It's a bit like arguing for more guns to counter gun crime.   

       Silly, pointless & ultimately damaging, I like it! [+]
Skewed, Nov 07 2019

       // Christ Max, that was up for probably 15 seconds before I changed it. //   

       We watch everything you do. Everything. Every waking and sleeping moment of your life, you are watched. Every breath you take, every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take, we'll be watching you.   

       Excuse us a moment, [xenzag] has moved slightly and we need to re-aim the Trump Paranoia GM Global Warming Child Abuse brane ray ...   

       ... OK, back now.   

       As we said, Big Brother is watching you. No, don't even think of unplugging the toaster. The toaster is not spying on you. Don't unplug the floor lamp either, though.
8th of 7, Nov 07 2019

       Well the idea here is that putting fake stories out like this would be sort of a lesson. "Check the story before believing it."   

       Would people actually believe the story about Cornwittiker Tyler Foly's first trip under the polar ice cap in a metal tube powered by the movement of the current in 1876? Maybe, until somebody told them they've been trolled, at which time they'd be a little more careful checking their sources.   

       Might be a good thing no?
doctorremulac3, Nov 07 2019

       It certainly would, but is that you thinking that, or is it a thought that's somehow crept in from outside ?   

       How do you know it's a real thought, and not a fake one ?   

       Do we need to teach you Phenomenology ?   

       <Commanding voice>   

       "doctorremulac3, return to the bomb bay".   

       <Commanding voice/>   

       On the plus side, at least it's not in Other:Gener ... oh, wait ...
8th of 7, Nov 07 2019

       History is rewritten by the whiners
theircompetitor, Nov 07 2019

       //Would people actually believe the story about Cornwittiker Tyler Foly's first trip//   

       Probably. They believed in Piltdown Man for a long time. And Dutch newspapers in the 1820s were full of updates on Janssen's exploration of the Amazon, despite the fact that he and his two ships were hiding in the Canary Islands.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 07 2019

       That was clever, being as it's now been proved that the Canary Islands don't exist and he was actually staying in a boarding house on the Isle of Wight ...
8th of 7, Nov 07 2019

       The Isle of White (as it's now known) was only renamed in 1870 after it was gifted by the crown to Lord Whiteside of Argyle, if you'd bothered to look at any older land deeds you'd have known that it was previously known as Canary Island (the names origins come from the older Kanwherry, a kind of fermented pilchard paste made by the locals), it's a failure to research your history properly that causes these kind of conspiracy theories [8th], shame on you for a lack of diligence in your research.
Skewed, Nov 07 2019

       We looked it up, we really did, in Authoritative Documentation. Bah. That's the last time we buy those cheap Christmas crackers from Tesco, bloody rubbish they are .... half of them didn't even go bang properly ...   

       <Stomps away muttering/>
8th of 7, Nov 07 2019

       Not to double down on devious or anything, but you could also flip this and pass around fake "debunking" stories which would probably be a lot more popular since people love conspiracy theories. Crap like:   

       Abe Lincoln was actually a woman, Carla Fluorbanks McNeail, the first trans politician, hair transplanted from the top of her scalp to her chin is why "he" always wore the hat. To cover the scars.   

       They don't not need to un-not be stupid to catch on.
doctorremulac3, Nov 07 2019

       OK, that hoax is available. I did a search of "Was Abe Lincoln a...?" and Google suggested (in this order)   

       A Republican, A Republican or Democrat, A Democrat, A lawyer, shot in the head, left handed, a founding father, (we're doomed) married, a senator, and my favorite, ladies and gentleman, the number ten most requested question about Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of the United States of America is... "Was Abe Lincoln a vampire hunter."   

       Did I mention we're doomed?
doctorremulac3, Nov 07 2019

       According to a reputable source (I think...), Lincoln used to share his bed in the Whitehouse with one of his security men, because it reminded him of doing something similar when money was tight as a student.
4and20, Nov 07 2019

       //we're doomed//   

       No we're not.   

       The problem provides its own solution.   

       Just start a rumour that something inimical to humans is fun, really tasty, improves sex, will make you live forever, etc.   

       & those stupid enough to fall for it will remove themselves from society & the gene pool without any further intervention on your part.   

       "The real reason they don't want you to eat arsenic ..."
Skewed, Nov 07 2019

       "So let me get this straight, this one weird trick that the millionaires don't want me to know about will raise my income AND increase the size of my manhood? Shut up and take my money!".
doctorremulac3, Nov 07 2019

theircompetitor, Nov 07 2019

       <Places self-addressed envelope and USD $5 of [MB]'s money in outer envelope, writes [doc]'s address on it, drops in mailbox/>   

       <Adopts hopeful expression, settles down to wait for postman/>
8th of 7, Nov 08 2019


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