h a l f b a k e r y
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Government employees work as assistants for the socially inept
Human rights of "life, liberty, and the pursuit of
are understood to include "equal treatment under the
including prohibition of discrimination based on
Through no fault of their own, many people are endowed
with lackluster natural abilities to detect lying
motives in others, to speak confidently and persuasively
their own interests, or generally to out-wit other people.
All social arenas, including business and relationships,
include ample opportunities for dishonesty. This is
discriminatory against dullards.
To protect the interests of differently-aware citizens,
everyone with sufficient credulity and/or obliviousness is
appointed an assistant who is a Government employee.
Government workers doing this job would be known as
"Trumpeters", because their role is to trumpet the
of those they serve, and because their behavior when
their job correctly resembles that of a certain
contemporary American politician and businessman.
In short, to prevent discrimination based on social skills
or wisdom, everyone with below-average social skills or
judgement would be encouraged to delegate their
decision-making to a Government-employed solicitor
would accompany them anytime they needed to make a
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||What could possibly go wrong ... ?
||"Human rights" is a phrase that generally raises my hackles.
||There are no 'rights', but privileges afforded by the society
in which we live, and subject to consent and support of all
participants in that society.
||Freedom of speech? We're all careful with our vocabulary
in case something we say is taken as indication of racial or
religious prejudice, or is seen as 'offensive' to others. Our
host society requires us to moderate our speech on order
to be 'acceptable'. In the privacy of our own homes, or in
the company of friends and like-minded people, or in
purely academic or objective debate this micro-society
allows us the privilege of verbalizing things which are
taboo in the wider world.
||Pursuit of happiness? Only if what makes you happy falls
within your host society's view of acceptable: most
societies aim to deny an active paedophile's "pursuit of
||Liberty? No you can't just go wherever you please. Your
liberty is restricted by boundaries laid down by a person or
company or government that 'owns' property. Overstep the
boundaries and you risk having your already controlled
liberty even more limited.
||Life? Subject to your host society agreeing that your
behaviour is acceptable and that you don't violate any of
its most serious laws AND that your health and well being
require an acceptable level of investment in terms of
financial and other resources. OK, some societies don't
enact the death penalty, but whether you like it or not
there is a line drawn when it comes to the bill for health
or social care. If medical treatment is too costly or the
provision of care is problematic your host society will
cease to see the end of your life as a problem which much
be solved at all costs.
||No-one has the 'right' to anything. Everything is privilege
and must be earned. Society sets the tariff on how much
effort we need to invest to earn those privileges. Talk of
'human rights' is an example of a society which grants the
aforementioned privileges and demands nothing in return.
||I thought this was going to be a topical, Donald Trump-themed idea.
||The real hopeless victims of mental illness are to be found among those who appear to be most normal. "Many of them are normal because they are so well adjusted to our mode of existence, because their human voice has been silenced so early in their lives, that they do not even struggle or suffer or develop symptoms as the neurotic does." They are normal not in what may be called the absolute sense of the word; they are normal only in relation to a profoundly abnormal society. Their perfect adjustment to that abnormal society is a measure of their mental sickness. These millions of abnormally normal people, living without fuss in a society to which, if they were fully human beings, they ought not to be adjusted.
||If I had a pet trump I wouldn't feed it.