Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Bite me.

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Try Something Old

It might just work ...
  [vote for,

Since the inexorable spread of a comparatively mild infectious disease has elicited a grossly irrational response at all levels of society, it's clear that the bulk of the population are unable or unwilling to apply critical thinking to social issues.

Therefore, we suggest that in addition to the sluggish, incompetent and ineffectual response by authorities (having received a mere 60 years warning from scientists and the military that this situation would eventually, inevitably occur, as a result of the development of rapid mass intercontinental air travel) a public response based on appropriately irrational belief systems should be promoted.

This will, of course, do no good whatsoever and like most such responses will inevitably make things much worse, particularly in the long term. However, in the short term, it may significantly improve the psychological state of the participants, giving them a greater sense of community and having "done something", however pointless and ineffective.

Quite apart from the normal overt victimization of minority groups, for the usual reasons of race, skin colour, height, religion, clothing and fashion choices*, geographic location or language (or non-reasons such as prejudce, stupidity, irrational intolerance and ignorance), the revival of more ancient activities such as ritual human and animal sacrifice - like the immolation of selected individuals in a Wicker Man, or dismemberment on an altar in a stone circle - could be, if not encouraged, at least acquiesced to, by authorities, in the interest of social cohesion and "the greater good", although obviously not greatly to the good of those who actually get sacrificed ...

* It should be pointed out that some fashion choices do actually fully justify not only intolerance, but what is best described as mercy killing.

8th of 7, Apr 01 2020

We're from the government... https://babylonbee....o-jump-off-a-bridge
...and we're here to help. [whatrock, Apr 04 2020]


       You've finally lost your mind.
blissmiss, Apr 01 2020

       Oh yes. And two penguins swam and walked from the Antarctic to the Middle East to climb onto a giant wooden boat, packed with predators, where they stayed for nearly six weeks ...   

       Then they were presumably dropped off on the top of a mountain, and walked and swam back to Antarctica, where they repopulated the continent with penguins based on only one set of DNA.   

       It must be true, because lots of people believe it.
8th of 7, Apr 01 2020

       You've been stockpiling wicker men again, haven't you?   

       I hope they're properly sanitised.
pertinax, Apr 02 2020

       I think I might break my FREE HUGS t-shirt out of mothballs...   

       Aren't hugs now classed as threatening behaviour ?   

       // I hope they're properly sanitised. //   

       After the fire, definitely ...
8th of 7, Apr 02 2020

       //Aren't hugs now classed as threatening behaviour?//   

       Ah, but is wearing a FREE HUGS t-shirt seen as threatening behaviour?
"That's" the social experiment.

       This blatant propaganda campaign to condition society and enable legal enforcement against our right of assembly needs to stop.   

       [This way to the Regress->]   

       Ironically it could be the perfect time to publicise that animal products used in TCM are a huge risk factor for novel viral infections ...
8th of 7, Apr 02 2020

       Hugs are now considered lethal weapons in my part of town. This means if someone comes at you with their arms in the hugging position you could/should pull out your gun and shoot them in self-defense. Possibly.
blissmiss, Apr 02 2020

       <Jolly singing>   

       "Happy days are here again,
The skies above are clear again,
So let's sing a song of cheer again,
Happy days are here again !"

       </Jolly singing>   

       <Wheedling voices>   

       "2fries ... 2fries ... come out, come out, wherever you are ... 2fries ..."   

       </Wheedling voices>
8th of 7, Apr 02 2020

       Does this mean we can wear Plague Doctor masks now?
sninctown, Apr 02 2020

       Can ? They're compulsory ... along with the robes, and the stick (2m long, to allow precise measurement of social distancing).   

       In case of untoward symptoms, we prescribe ... a course of leeches. This isn’t the dark ages ... Just pop four in your mouth in the morning and let them dissolve slowly.
8th of 7, Apr 02 2020

       The ironic thing is that 8th has studied enough volcanology to tell us exactly which one we should throw him into.
RayfordSteele, Apr 02 2020

       Lake Nyos. The water's nice and warm, and nearly all the CO2's gone now.   

       <Watches two hobbts trudge past, one carrying a flashy gold ring/>   


       <Tiptoes after them/>
8th of 7, Apr 02 2020

       Is it a new experience to have people decide that they need to stay *only* six feet away from you?
RayfordSteele, Apr 04 2020


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