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Ultracentrifugal karma

  [vote for,

It has been explained <link> that unattended prayer wheels, if spun, generate a sort of diffuse karma.

Clearly, there is room for further study, such as the conservation of angular karma, karmic precession, and whether Coriolis forces explain why the northern hemisphere is home to god's favourite nation. But that is by the by.

Many biology departments (and probably quite a few chemistry ones) contain ultracentrifuges, whose business is to spin at something like 100,000rpm, often for hours at a time. This is clearly an opportunity waiting to be missed. If suitable karmic texts were to be embossed shallowly on the surface of each ultracentrifuge rotor (and if the embossing depth were finely adjusted to maintain the rotor's exquisite balance), there can be no doubt that truly vast amounts of karma would be generated during, for instance, the centrifugal density- gradient purification of DNA. Whether this karma would benefit the entire world, the nation, the department or merely the experimenter remains to be seen.

MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 12 2019

Prayer wheels Prayer_20Wheel_20Fidget_20Spinner
I am indebted to [8th] for his annotation, though not in a binding sense. [MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 12 2019]

izzy wheels https://www.izzywheels.com/
covers for wheelchair wheels [xenzag, Dec 13 2019]


       The same could be achieved by etching the blades and rotors of gas turbine engines. An Australia-to-Europe flight in an A380 (4 engines so 4 x the karmic goodness) could generate a vast amount of karma.   

       Obviously the reverse trip - going to Australia from just about anywhere* - means that you already have enough bad karma for several lifetimes, and etched turbine blades aren't going to help.   

       *Except Milton Keynes, where it's basically a no-score draw.
8th of 7, Dec 12 2019

       What about the orbit of electrons around nucleii, or the spin of subatomic particules?
pocmloc, Dec 12 2019

       Can you inscribe prayers on them ... ?
8th of 7, Dec 12 2019

       MaxCo. is currently in negotiations with Pirelli - tyres that not only disperse water but also generate karma should be a winner. (Plus we're hoping for a free calendar.)
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 12 2019

       "Yurs, well, no wonder it pulls to the left when you brake, you've got a 185VR16 Om Mane Padme Hum on the front nearside and Om Mane Omne Hums on the other three ... "
8th of 7, Dec 12 2019

       Depends on your definition of "inscribe" and "prayer"
pocmloc, Dec 12 2019

       //The same could be achieved by etching the blades and rotors of gas turbine engines// ....wonders what might have been inscribed on fab blades of Boeing's 737 Max aka the flying coffins? - voodoo death mantras?
xenzag, Dec 13 2019

       I run Pirelli Sport Demons on the Moto Guzzi - let me know when negotiations are complete.   

       In the meantime, are you offering decals I can put on the Camry wheels?
normzone, Dec 13 2019

       A graduate from the art college where I teach does these. (see link)
xenzag, Dec 13 2019

       //Boeing's 737 Max// Are they still calling it that? I did contact them and said I no longer want to be associated with the brand.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 13 2019

       Who's going to fit the decorative coffin handles to the wings if you no longer work for them?
xenzag, Dec 13 2019


       We find your lack of aerospace engineering knowledge .... disturbing.   

       We fit the coffin handles to the fuselage, level with the mainspar and starting just aft of the front passenger doors (the point where the roof normally starts to rip off) and finishing just forward of the empennage (so that when the fin breaks off under uncontrolled roll, there's something for the recovery team to grab on to).
8th of 7, Dec 13 2019

       Conservative pilots have been known to use the rear coffin handles combined with some sturdy string to limit the wild uncomanded rudder movements. Some say it's unsightly, so Boeing engineers are looking at ways to internally route the string from coffin handles to rudder. In the current model, the string passes through the rear cabin, so Boeing have included a small brass hook. Without the hook, certain in-flight configurations of the toilet door were found to generate rudder deflections through direct interaction with the Auxillary Rudder String Element (ARSE). Initially Boeing suggested that there was plenty of rudder authority when the toilet wasn't being used, and the two vital aircraft systems could simply separate their operations through time. Boeing quickly patented the technology, described by insiders as a mechanical analog of the CAN bus system. The FAA mandated brass hook, however, is seen as a bit of an afterthought bodge job.
bs0u0155, Dec 13 2019

       You have to watch out for the direction of spin - if you spin a prayer-wheel backwards it sends out negative karma.
hippo, Dec 13 2019

       There must be some palindromic prayers, surely?
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 13 2019

       We've never heard of any society worshiping a palindrome. Having an odd little scaly insectivorous mammal as a deity doesn't make a lot of sense.   

       // rear coffin handles combined with some sturdy string //   

       Paracord is the best for that job.
8th of 7, Dec 13 2019

       //if you spin a prayer-wheel backwards it sends out negative karma.//   

       Having now read up on prayer wheel technology, it appears the direction is important. Clockwise is conventional, however, advanced practitioners may rotate the wheel anticlockwise for a "more wrathful protective karma". This raises interesting questions: is the spin direction referenced to anything? Does that mean that the southern hemisphere is a source of bad karma and should be removed?
bs0u0155, Dec 13 2019

       I'm not sure, but it may explain the unpopularity of roundabouts in the US.   

       Is karma generation a function of angular momentum, angular velocity, or merely number of revolutions? If we knew this, it ought to be possible to optimise for the relevant variable.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 13 2019

       In theory, yes.   

       // it may explain the unpopularity of roundabouts in the US //   

       No, that's merely the consequence of having a population of drivers who on average can't walk and chew gum at the same time; the existential overload caused when they are confronted by a "traffic circle" causes all their higher cognitive functions* to shut down, sometimes for days.   

       *if any.
8th of 7, Dec 13 2019

       But if a prayer wheel is just in need of a stylus, then spinning things faster will make the prayers ultrasonic.
bigsleep, Dec 14 2019


       If a prayer wheel were designed with an intake slot which controlled airflow and the ridges on the wheel itself were configured to create different sounds based on that airflow then the wheels could actually broadcast the prayers audibly.   

       ...but not if they go ultrasonic. Sometimes less is more.   

       The Karmic prayer gradient would only filter middle ground substrates, upper species would have energetic avoidance and lower species are too dense to be worried.
wjt, Dec 14 2019

       How fast can a prayer be said before it loses effectiveness ?   

       Since deities are not generally bounded by known physical laws, speed of transmission should not represent a problem.
8th of 7, Dec 14 2019

       But what about the Law of Conservation of Karma? - you can't create karma without also creating anti-karma
hippo, Dec 14 2019

       //How fast can a prayer be said before it loses effectiveness ? // If the same message is to be sent repeatedly, it would be more efficient to have a local copy stored on the deity's own server, and then simply invoke it as required.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 14 2019

       There is still time to invoke and time to decode. If there's a path where everything is touching everything else(all substance is connected), the answer is instantaneous but inversely factored by permission.
wjt, Dec 14 2019

       [wjt], I am invariably impressed by your ability to write a foreign language using only English words.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 14 2019

       Better, slightly. Words are just lego blocks, How do you build new things if the box is only yay big.
wjt, Dec 14 2019

       A Yay is 10^24 ays, which ought to suffice.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 14 2019

       // Words are just lego blocks, //   

       We disagree. It is impossible to get a word so firmly wedged in a nostril that it takes medical intervention to remove it.
8th of 7, Dec 15 2019

       Sorry for corrupting yea but errors stimulate thought. how many of that 10^24 does grammar fight to not exist?   

       [8th] True, Although, some words get so strongly fixed into some people, change is difficult and only a lego ( not necessarily a Lego block) up the nose to actually fix.
wjt, Dec 15 2019

       // What about the orbit of electrons around nucleii [sic] //   

       Not helpful, because they don't orbit.   

       // Can you inscribe prayers on [electrons or subatomic particles] ... ? //   

       You could probably get the Trisolarans to do it for you.   

       // A Yay is 10^24 ays, which ought to suffice. //   

       Ah, but [wjt] said "yay", which is only 10^-24 ay.
notexactly, Dec 21 2019

       thanks [notexactly], got it, yotta 'Y' .   

       Still, number of words in English > 600,000 Length of average sentence, say 20 words ( generous) so unsanitised value (6.0^5)^20 = 3.656158440062976 × 10^115 % grammatically correct ? can't guess, I assume quite low if pedantic.   

       Electrons have gravitations that are very very special, hence the unique, even bizarre, nuclear scale orbital paths.
wjt, Dec 21 2019


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