Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Tuning Fork Vibrator

Octaves of pleasure.
  (+13, -1)(+13, -1)
(+13, -1)
  [vote for,

Batteries - bah! Crass phalluses - bah and bah! BUNGCO has no love for the state of vibrator science today. Loud motors, worn out batteries, and giveaway design all add up to a product too overt for the discreet epicure.

BUNGCO is proud to introduce the Tuning Fork Vibrators. Each Fork is lovingly crafted from a single piece of stainless steel, and mounted for wall display. At one end - the Fork, to be rapped (and rapped again) against a firm surface and set into a pleasant hum. At the other, a slightly flared stem to allow a firm grip. Choose your favorite fork or work your way through the scale. Make a chord! Have a concert! Learn your resonant frequency! Each set of TFV will never wear out and is guaranteed for life.

Dishwasher safe.

bungston, Jan 25 2007

Tuning Fork Dildo $149.95 http://www.puckerup...ducts_id=203&tpid=8
As seen on HBO's "Real Sex", remembers -wess. [jutta, Jan 26 2007]

Old Joke http://digicoll.lib...02513700065&isize=M
Wisconson Engineer 1964 - a blast from the past! [csea, Jan 27 2007]


       Metronome not included?
methinksnot, Jan 25 2007

Now my wife will never want to spoon.

       G sharp no doubt....
molecat, Jan 25 2007

       Expanding on the concept of a vibrating dildo could produce a HIFI speaker unit that plays anything from Beethoven to hard rock so that sexual crescendos could be in tune with musical taste. Turning up the volume could be an earth moving experience.
JSand, Jan 25 2007

       That's an early Howard Stern bit, depicted slightly fictionalized (i.e. hot chick riding a speaker) in "Private Parts".   

       (-) Thanks, but I'd rather shovel.
jutta, Jan 25 2007

       //but I'd rather shovel//   

       As in, do a spot of gardening?
skinflaps, Jan 25 2007

       As in this old joke (cut-and-pasted from what appears to be "The Wisconsin Engineer" number 6, October 1964.)   

       "A sort of 'old fashioned' student took his girl for a ride in his car near Picnic Point."
"After finding a nice place to park he kissed her softly and said, 'This is called spooning.'
'Okay,' she said, 'but I'd much rather shovel.'"

       [Other than in this joke, I have never seen the term "spooning" for anything but lying next to each other in bed, sideways, facing the same direction. Which may be the incongruency that pinned it to my cranium.]
jutta, Jan 25 2007

       Strange. Since a spoon is a table instrument I'd assume she'd choose a a similar tool, like, for instance, a fork.
JSand, Jan 25 2007

       Maybe it's one of those meta-jokes that are funny because they don't go for the obvious point?
"Okay," she said, "but I'd much rather watch television." Hm.

       Speaking of which, the point I was trying to make that while this is all tender and poetic and lovingly crafted and whatnot, that would have to be one huge fucking fork to be vibrating hard and long enough to take the place of the trusty Hitachi, or whatever your chosen instrument of bliss.
jutta, Jan 25 2007

       There's always the Amish market.
bungston, Jan 25 2007

       Spooning is indeed a quaint term for what I would call snogging, our parents called necking, and modern youth, making out. I've only seen it used in Victorian contexts, though it's the kind of term you'd expect in Archie Comics.   

       I only came across Jutta's definition when watching a program on the Civil War - that is apparently how the soldiers slept, for warmth, and is affected by modern re-enactors. This definition doesn't seem to appear in any of the dictionaries, but I have come across it elsewhere.
DrCurry, Jan 25 2007

       //trusty Hitachi//??   

       You definitely want to go with a more reliable brand like Milwaukee or DeWalt. Do not go Black and Decker as their quality has gone down quite a bit in the last few years. I'm just saying...
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Jan 25 2007

       //but lying next to each other in bed, sideways
facing the same direction. Which may be the
incongruency that pinned it to my cranium.//

       When I read that it seems to me that the couple are facing one another, lying across the bed. Odd.   

       //or whatever your chosen instrument of bliss.//   

       I suggest those who are even thinking of stealing my
weapons might want to just rethink that notion.
blissmiss, Jan 26 2007

       Holy Cow [NTSS] is ALIVE!
jhomrighaus, Jan 26 2007

       //Holy Cow [NTSS] is ALIVE!// Muhahahaha!   

       For some reason I pictured this device with an automated gong hammer type thing as a way of, well, automating it. The image in my head involves the inner guts of a grandfather clock, a tuning fork or two, a pretty lady (or two)and lots of pullies and rope. Not efficient, but Rube Goldberg-like and sexy as hell.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Jan 26 2007

       ...and the really big one, when struck, goes:   


       ...and is called "Big Ben".
Ling, Jan 26 2007

       I had envisaged a vibrator that could be activated by exciting it's resonant frequency using a supplied cd played through a stereo.
wagster, Jan 26 2007

       //trusty Hitachi//   

       *Smiles, then giggles*
Aq_Bi, Jan 26 2007

       Could there be a "Turing Fork Vibrator?" - based on the famous Turing Test to determine if you were having a fake or genuine orgasm ? - just a thought.
xenzag, Jan 26 2007

       [NottheSharpestSpoon], the Black and Decker company makes DeWalt. Better bearings, stronger motors and the colour yellow are the difference.
zeno, Jan 26 2007

       It's the yellow color that makes all the difference. Goes better with leather nail bags and hard hats. Again, sexy as hell.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Jan 26 2007

       I'm sure it's baked. I think I've seen this on one of HBO's "Real Sex" shows.
-wess, Jan 26 2007

       Oh my, you're right! See link. (But it's a butt plug, not a vibrator, and the vibrations are described as "soothing".)
jutta, Jan 26 2007

       There goes the shovel.
skinflaps, Jan 26 2007

       See Old Joke [link].   

       Wow, what a blast from the past! Though this particular one is new to me, I remember lots of old nerdy magazines from the '60s. I am going to send my friend who works at JPL the recruitment ad from page 48!
csea, Jan 27 2007

       Jutta, Oh yeah, that's right it was a but plug. However, if the vibes from such a thing are said to be "soothing", maybe it wouldn't be a good vibrator?
-wess, Jan 29 2007

       From the link - "...genius sex toy inventor Ray Cirino..."   

       I would love to be described like that.
wagster, Jan 29 2007

       "...genious nasal tampon inventor and sensational musician, lead singer of 'the wagster trio'..." should be in your profile.
methinksnot, Jan 29 2007


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