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1) Eleven players each side of the net
2) Court is doubled in width, but quadrupled in length
3) Ball allowed to bounce three times before being hit and still remain in play, but:
4) Each second or third bounce carries a forfeit: a shot of vodka for the second bounce, a pint
of bitter for the third. These are TEAM forfeits, so the team captain or manager can chose to divide the alcohol between the team as a whole (reducing overall performance by small increments) or concentrate it on one or two players (dramatic, but localised reduction of performance) or have them take it in turns etc.
Forfeits to be taken between point being scored and subsequent serve.
5) Use globaltourniquet's new system of scoring, natch
6) Ball can be passed between members of same team any number of times before being returned, but if it's dropped on your own side before return then that's a G&T for every previous pass
7) One player on horseback per team. Horse not allowed to take forfeits.
That scoring system
Globaltourniquet's idea as mentioned above [Saveloy, Apr 18 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]
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||Ah, but this IS a different sport - it's ULTRA tennis. Doesn't stop ordinary tennis from being played.
||do not foget the large windmill in the centre of the net.
||Po, if you don't like ultra tennis the way it is, play another sport! Sorry, no, I took the windmill as read.
||Sorry UB, you've lost me there with the midnight tennis reference. Que?
||It's hard to say "Cream Puff-Dingy" when you're falling down drunk.
||Now that sounds like sweet shit. U should consider including phat ladies under the net.